Parenting Transgender Youth

[Dhara]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not going to post much opposite reading because I see you will only read what agrees with your prejudice.

 

[Dhara]

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

Quite honestly, I don't like her either. It seems to be all about her and not her family.

Jenner is selfish. My son says grudgingly, (while hating Jenner), that trans issues would not have been so visible if not for Jenner's fame.

The look on Lamar Odom's face when he met Caitlyn said it all.
Bruce, a sixty-something-year-old man one day, and the next a sixty-something-year-old man with boobs. It's hard to understand.

Of course it is. You should have seen my face 25 years ago when a MTF transgender showed up in my career counseling office looking for a job.

I was very uncomfortable. Sad, to say.

 

[ChrisL]

Though anorexia is a different disease entirely, the symptoms fit "body dysmorphic disorder" just as transgenderism does. They are "unhappy" in their own skin and feel as if something is wrong with them physically, but it is not at all physical but all mental.

Symptoms and causes - Anorexia nervosa - Mayo Clinic

The exact cause of anorexia nervosa is unknown. As with many diseases, it's probably a combination of biological, psychological and environmental factors.

• Biological. Although it's not yet clear which genes are involved, there may be genetic changes that make some people more vulnerable to developing anorexia. Some people may have a genetic tendency toward perfectionism, sensitivity and perseverance — all traits associated with anorexia.
• Psychological. Some emotional characteristics may contribute to anorexia. Young women may have obsessive-compulsive personality traits that make it easier to stick to strict diets and forgo food despite being hungry. They may have an extreme drive for perfectionism, causing them to think they're never thin enough. They may have high levels of anxiety and restrict their eating to reduce it.
• Environmental. Modern Western culture emphasizes thinness. Success and worth are often equated with being thin. Peer pressure may help fuel the desire to be thin, particularly among young girls.

 

[ChrisL]

It is not very healthy to be obsessed with your sexuality or your genitals. To me, that, in and of itself, is a sign of body dysmorphic disorder.

 

[Dhara]

My son's role models are Gandhi and MLK. Hardly militants but highly effective leaders of civil rights.

 

[ChrisL]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not going to post much opposite reading because I see you will only read what agrees with your prejudice.

You won't read other things, and then accuse ME of doing what you are doing. Lol. Funny.

 

[Dhara]

It is not very healthy to be obsessed with your sexuality or your genitals. To me, that, in and of itself, is a sign of body dysmorphic disorder.

Well, I'd say my son is LESS obsessed with his gentials then most teenage boys his age.

 

[anotherlife]

Is the child malformed physically or mentally? And if yes, then is that caused hormonally? If yes to both, then a restorative hormon therapy may be useful. Otherwise it is biologically dangerous and should wait till adulthood.

He's one year away from being old enough to have surgery. Hormones at 17 is not an extremely radical treatment. He has been living as a male already for 3 years. His bio mom's comment was "Now I know why he went to school pissed off everyday after I'd fix his hair and put him a dress every day".

Are his genitals female? The biggest problem is to match the sceletal structure with the new body biology. At 17 this may not be too late, but can't be done earlier either. Although, if this is a female to male transformation, then males have usually a lot less scrutiny about their bodies by the opposite gender lovers. In this case, what I would be most puzzled about would be, how to install a working penis on him/her. There are transplant surgeries and these days they are usually successful, but if the underlying tissues are not the right arrangement, then how do you make them work? Genital transplants are usually successful for repairs like bodged circumcision or accident restoration.

He was allowed to legally change his name when we adopted him. He chose a male name. Since he's been getting hormone therapy, his doctor has written a letter declaring him male even though he is one year awy from surgery.

He will have a new birth certificate saying male, and when he gets his driver's license this summer, he will have ID with his photo on it saying male. We will get passports soon after that.

This is not sufficient, and this will not help him. In this case, if this is all that can be done, and a working biological penis is not guaranteed, then she is better with keeping her female body, and continue as a lesbian. This will remain a problem for her forever, until a psychological cure can be found for her condition. If her new penis has a chance of not getting erect hard upon a touch, then she should not give up her currently working genitals. I would advice her for a lesbian lifestyle then as opposed to a male one.

You're disrespectful calling my son, a girl. He may not have his prosthetic cock and balls but he is NO girl. Not a bit.

If he was a male, then he would not find this disrespectful. You are proving now that he is not a male. I think you are making this whole thing up. I have found, that there is no male element in anything that you disclosed. But so be it, this is still interesting, even at a hypothetical level.

 

[boedicca]

Some say that to allow anyone under 18 to get hormone treatment is child abuse. I disagree. The younger a person starts to transition the more successful the transition physically and psychologically.

Discuss.

I am the parent of a transgender youth, due to turn 17 in July.

40% of post op Transgenders attempt suicide.

So, yes, you are supporting child abuse to send your child upon such a path.

 

[Dhara]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not going to post much opposite reading because I see you will only read what agrees with your prejudice.

You won't read other things, and then accuse ME of doing what you are doing. Lol. Funny.

I read EVERTYTHING on this topic. Even stuff I don't agree with. I"ve changed in my outlook due to education. That's the only hope for atitude adjustment.

 

[Dhara]

Some say that to allow anyone under 18 to get hormone treatment is child abuse. I disagree. The younger a person starts to transition the more successful the transition physically and psychologically.

Discuss.

I am the parent of a transgender youth, due to turn 17 in July.

40% of post op Transgenders attempt suicide.

So, yes, you are supporting child abuse to send your child upon such a path.

Link to proof?

 

[Dhara]

There is a popular myth going around that attempts to quote from this 2003 Swedish study:

Long-Term Follow-Up of Transsexual Persons Undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery: Cohort Study in Sweden

People using this study do so selectively. Let me explain the statistical manipulation going on with gender surgery detractors and the myth they try to construct.

First they note that general population rates for suicidality are around 1.6% in the United States. Then they note that suicidality rates for post-op transsexual people are about 4.1%. They then claim that since this is “hundreds of percent higher” that surgery does not work.

But let’s talk about the reality. What is that reality? It is that the pre-op suicidality rate for transsexuals is 41%!!!

Yep, that’s right. Pre-op rates of suicidality for transsexuals are 1000% higher than post-op rates. How do we know this? From the UCLA Williams Institute study Suicide Attempts among Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Adults. (Warning! PDF!)
The Myth of Post-Op Regret And Suicidality

 

[boedicca]

My son's role models are Gandhi and MLK. Hardly militants but highly effective leaders of civil rights.

Did either one attempt self-mutilation of their genetalia?

And for clarification, are you referring to your son pre-or-post tran? IOW, is he currently a she trying to become a he, or the opposite?

 

[boedicca]

Some say that to allow anyone under 18 to get hormone treatment is child abuse. I disagree. The younger a person starts to transition the more successful the transition physically and psychologically.

Discuss.

I am the parent of a transgender youth, due to turn 17 in July.

40% of post op Transgenders attempt suicide.

So, yes, you are supporting child abuse to send your child upon such a path.

Link to proof?

Here you go.

Transgender People and Suicide: The Tragedy, and the Hope

 

[anotherlife]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not going to post much opposite reading because I see you will only read what agrees with your prejudice.

You won't read other things, and then accuse ME of doing what you are doing. Lol. Funny.

Good, so it's not just me. Thread! Still funny. I can imagine though, that aggressive, belligerent, abusive, and over earing parenting can force children to become homosexual teens. Your take?

 

[Dhara]

I think this all seems to be a lot more than just "the genitals don't match how I "think".

It's very uncomfortable for most people to relate to, so we'd all like to distance ourselves by making them psychos.

Some trans are mentally ill, and many are not. IF you see the ones who've grown up in supportive families and communities, and who "pass" very well you'd have less concern. My opinion only.

There are different degrees of "mentally ill" such as anorexics. They are not dangerous (except to themselves).

Sure. Some trans kids are a mess, adults a worse mess. AND there are brilliant successes too.

 

[ChrisL]

Some say that to allow anyone under 18 to get hormone treatment is child abuse. I disagree. The younger a person starts to transition the more successful the transition physically and psychologically.

Discuss.

I am the parent of a transgender youth, due to turn 17 in July.

40% of post op Transgenders attempt suicide.

So, yes, you are supporting child abuse to send your child upon such a path.

I believe the suicide rates remain high postoperatively because surgery does not correct the problem. They need intensive therapy and not surgery, but as my links show, they are in fact suffering from a mental illness, and they become extremely agitated whenever someone suggests therapy as an alternative to surgery because they know the surgery is available to them. They feel that surgery and hormones are going to "cure" them, when I don't believe that is the case at all. Like giving an anorexic liposuction.

 

[Dhara]

Damn, I told my wife we'd get blamed for my son's transgender affinity.

 

[boedicca]

I'm rather shocked and repulsed that the OP has such a cavalier and uninformed outlook on what she is supporting for her gender indeterminate offspring.

 

[ChrisL]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not going to post much opposite reading because I see you will only read what agrees with your prejudice.

You won't read other things, and then accuse ME of doing what you are doing. Lol. Funny.

Good, so it's not just me. Thread! Still funny. I can imagine though, that aggressive, belligerent, abusive, and over earing parenting can force children to become homosexual teens. Your take?

Perhaps that could be the case. I'm sure there are multiple factors that could result in such a syndrome. It also depends on the person, the type of abuse and length of time of abuse too, I'm sure.