Parenting Transgender Youth

[Dhara]

Do you want to look at the other side of this Chris? Or is any parent who agrees to let their child start hormone therapy abusive?

Is the child malformed physically or mentally? And if yes, then is that caused hormonally? If yes to both, then a restorative hormon therapy may be useful. Otherwise it is biologically dangerous and should wait till adulthood.

He's one year away from being old enough to have surgery. Hormones at 17 is not an extremely radical treatment. He has been living as a male already for 3 years. His bio mom's comment was "Now I know why he went to school pissed off everyday after I'd fix his hair and put him a dress every day".

Are his genitals female? The biggest problem is to match the sceletal structure with the new body biology. At 17 this may not be too late, but can't be done earlier either. Although, if this is a female to male transformation, then males have usually a lot less scrutiny about their bodies by the opposite gender lovers. In this case, what I would be most puzzled about would be, how to install a working penis on him/her. There are transplant surgeries and these days they are usually successful, but if the underlying tissues are not the right arrangement, then how do you make them work? Genital transplants are usually successful for repairs like bodged circumcision or accident restoration.

He was allowed to legally change his name when we adopted him. He chose a male name. Since he's been getting hormone therapy, his doctor has written a letter declaring him male even though he is one year awy from surgery.

He will have a new birth certificate saying male, and when he gets his driver's license this summer, he will have ID with his photo on it saying male. We will get passports soon after that.

This is not sufficient, and this will not help him. In this case, if this is all that can be done, and a working biological penis is not guaranteed, then she is better with keeping her female body, and continue as a lesbian. This will remain a problem for her forever, until a psychological cure can be found for her condition. If her new penis has a chance of not getting erect hard upon a touch, then she should not give up her currently working genitals. I would advice her for a lesbian lifestyle then as opposed to a male one.

You're disrespectful calling my son, a girl. He may not have his prosthetic cock and balls but he is NO girl. Not a bit.

 

[ChrisL]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

Statistics say they are not actually "happy" following the surgery either, because their genitals are not the problem.

What statistics? How much research is there? This is leading edge right now being sorted out.

The stats are mentioned in several of the links I've posted.

 

[ChrisL]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Then those men are creeps and didn't really love their mates. Goodness, some women are flat chested and live perfectly normal lives. Lol. IOW, there is a LOT more to life than your genitals or your sexuality.

 

[Tilly]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

 

[Dhara]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

Statistics say they are not actually "happy" following the surgery either, because their genitals are not the problem.

What statistics? How much research is there? This is leading edge right now being sorted out.

The stats are mentioned in several of the links I've posted.

This is very new. It has not been studied as much as it needs to be. Would I prefer my son have been born some time in the future so it would all be worked out in advance and completely accepted?

Yes, but then I would have missed the pleasure of knowing him. He's a remarkable young man.

 

[Lilah]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

I really don't have a menu of examples.
Does he really want to be Bruce again? If so, why is he continuing with his show?

 

[Dhara]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

 

[Lilah]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

Quite honestly, I don't like her either. It seems to be all about her and not her family.

 

[ChrisL]

I think this all seems to be a lot more than just "the genitals don't match how I "think".

 

[Tilly]

I

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

I really don't have a menu of examples.
Does he really want to be Bruce again? If so, why is he continuing with his show?

hmmmmm lets see? Do you think you could hazard a guess?

 

[Dhara]

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

Quite honestly, I don't like her either. It seems to be all about her and not her family.

Jenner is selfish. My son says grudgingly, (while hating Jenner), that trans issues would not have been so visible if not for Jenner's fame.

 

[Lilah]

I

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

I really don't have a menu of examples.
Does he really want to be Bruce again? If so, why is he continuing with his show?

hmmmmm lets see? Do you think you could hazard a guess?

Just tell me.

 

[Tilly]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

Statistics say they are not actually "happy" following the surgery either, because their genitals are not the problem.

What statistics? How much research is there? This is leading edge right now being sorted out.

The stats are mentioned in several of the links I've posted.

This is very new. It has not been studied as much as it needs to be. Would I prefer my son have been born some time in the future so it would all be worked out in advance and completely accepted?

Yes, but then I would have missed the pleasure of knowing him. He's a remarkable young man.

If anything is new, the kids shouldn't be experimented upon.

 

[Dhara]

I think this all seems to be a lot more than just "the genitals don't match how I "think".

It's very uncomfortable for most people to relate to, so we'd all like to distance ourselves by making them psychos.

Some trans are mentally ill, and many are not. IF you see the ones who've grown up in supportive families and communities, and who "pass" very well you'd have less concern. My opinion only.

 

[Lilah]

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

Quite honestly, I don't like her either. It seems to be all about her and not her family.

Jenner is selfish. My son says grudgingly, (while hating Jenner), that trans issues would not have been so visible if not for Jenner's fame.

The look on Lamar Odom's face when he met Caitlyn said it all.
Bruce, a sixty-something-year-old man one day, and the next a sixty-something-year-old man with boobs. It's hard to understand.

 

[Tilly]

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

Quite honestly, I don't like her either. It seems to be all about her and not her family.

Jenner is selfish. My son says grudgingly, (while hating Jenner), that trans issues would not have been so visible if not for Jenner's fame.

Yet you want teachers to wear badges and you've proudly said yourself and your son are militant activists?

 

[ChrisL]

I think this all seems to be a lot more than just "the genitals don't match how I "think".

It's very uncomfortable for most people to relate to, so we'd all like to distance ourselves by making them psychos.

Some trans are mentally ill, and many are not. IF you see the ones who've grown up in supportive families and communities, and who "pass" very well you'd have less concern. My opinion only.

There are different degrees of "mentally ill" such as anorexics. They are not dangerous (except to themselves).

 

[Dhara]

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

Statistics say they are not actually "happy" following the surgery either, because their genitals are not the problem.

What statistics? How much research is there? This is leading edge right now being sorted out.

The stats are mentioned in several of the links I've posted.

This is very new. It has not been studied as much as it needs to be. Would I prefer my son have been born some time in the future so it would all be worked out in advance and completely accepted?

Yes, but then I would have missed the pleasure of knowing him. He's a remarkable young man.

If anything is new, the kids shouldn't be experimented upon.

They are not science experiments. AND of course, this is new in many ways. Without the struggle and success of marriage equality this would not be openly discussed at all.

 

[ChrisL]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

 

[Dhara]

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

Jenner has said he made a mistake and wants to be a man again. Maybe you should use a choose a different example?

Jenner is no poster child for my family. We can't stand her.

Quite honestly, I don't like her either. It seems to be all about her and not her family.

Jenner is selfish. My son says grudgingly, (while hating Jenner), that trans issues would not have been so visible if not for Jenner's fame.

Yet you want teachers to wear badges and you've proudly said yourself and your son are militant activists?

My son isn't "militant". Maybe to you he is. He values and lives from a code of social justice and has a high enough self-esteem to advocate for political causes he agrees with. He's a big Bernie Sanders fan, even though he isn't old enough to vote.

He's in AP Pscyhology and History classes.

Being political doesn't make him a "militant".