Parenting Transgender Youth

[Dhara]

Some say that to allow anyone under 18 to get hormone treatment is child abuse. I disagree. The younger a person starts to transition the more successful the transition physically and psychologically.

Discuss.

I am the parent of a transgender youth, due to turn 17 in July.

 

[Dhara]

The power of trans* presence made itself known to me in a profound way on this year’s International Transgender Day of Visibility, which took place on March 31st. This annual day of recognition is dedicated to celebrating transgender people worldwide and to raising awareness of discrimination against the trans* community. I belong to a closed Facebook group that is limited to parents and caregivers of transgender and gender creative children, one that numbers well over 3,000 members now. On the 31st, after logged into Facebook, I saw that my feed was dominated by posts from this group, which was a little unusual. But the reason soon became clear, and I was quickly overwhelmed with amazement and with gratitude as I watched one incredible photo after another streaming across my computer screen. The photo stream continued throughout the day and into the night.

I was immediately struck by the uniqueness of each photo. Kids, teens, young adults and adults — at play, at work, with their families, with their husbands, wives, partners. Yet it was the volume that grabbed my heart, moving me to tears. While we’ve seen a huge increase in trans* visibility over the past several years, the stories and images in the media tend to be isolated from one another, as are trans people all too often. Isolation is one cause of depression among the trans* community, fueled by social stigma and rejection, whether it be from family, friends, school, and employment. Witnessing this seemingly endless flow of trans* faces reinforced the power of visibility and the belief that community is integral to wellbeing — for trans* people, and perhaps more importantly, for everyone else.

I wish we could all bear witness to this unforgettable collection, but for reasons of privacy and safety, the photos cannot be shared. However, a similar portfolio of members of the trans* community can be viewed here, published in 2014 in Huffington Post’s what #WhatTransLooksLike campaign. Additional photo essays on trans* and agender identities can be found hereand here.
The Power of Trans* Presence

 

[Tilly]

People, discuss this at your peril (unless you agree 100% with Dhara, in which case, have at it).
You have been warned.
That is all.

 

[aaronleland]

I'm all for transgender teens taking hormone therapy as long as they know what they are getting into, but wonder if there should be an age limit. A 15-17 year old probably knows what they want by that point, but is a 12/13 year old prepared to make such a drastic, life-long decision?

 

[Dhara]

Being transgender is not a “lifestyle choice;” rather, it is just one more beautiful, normal variation of being human. Having the support of family is the number one way to prevent depression and suicide among transgender youth. Every child deserves to be loved and supported unconditionally.

I love my son, and I support his decision to take testosterone. When he's old enough for top surgery I will be there for him.

 

[Dhara]

I'm all for transgender teens taking hormone therapy as long as they know what they are getting into, but wonder if there should be an age limit. A 15-17 year old probably knows what they want by that point, but is a 12/13 year old prepared to make such a drastic, life-long decision?

It's controversial aaron, that's for sure. But is NOT child abuse to allow your kid at age 16 to take hormones or to have surgery at age 18.

 

[TNHarley]

Why do you think kids have the mind to make decisions like that at such a young age?
I very much support them being adults when that stuff was to start up.
Frikkin Jenner is questioning going back to a man and he is like 60.
They are ill. If my child started questioning biology like that, I would focus more on the illness than give into it.
Give them love, actually listen and speak the truth to them... People have to accept themselves.

 

[SassyIrishLass]

When you have 3-6 year old children claiming they are transgender you really need to take a look at the parenting.

 

[Dhara]

I talked to my son about the heat I'm taking here for allowing him to take hormones. I told him that some people think parents who let kids take hormones are child abusers. My son said the opposite is true. Parents who refuse to support their kids are abusive.

 

[Stephanie]

as if there are so many of them. good grief.

Homosexuals are less than 5% of our population now how many of these so called: transgenders/transvestite's ?

 

[Stephanie]

When you have 3-6 year old children claiming they are transgender you really need to take a look at the parenting.

no kidding.

 

[Dhara]

When you have 3-6 year old children claiming they are transgender you really need to take a look at the parenting.

No, not at the parenting, but at what is going on with the kid. Kids play at gender roles at young ages. I don't think letting any child that young take medication makes any sense.

 

[TNHarley]

I'm all for transgender teens taking hormone therapy as long as they know what they are getting into, but wonder if there should be an age limit. A 15-17 year old probably knows what they want by that point, but is a 12/13 year old prepared to make such a drastic, life-long decision?

It's controversial aaron, that's for sure. But is NOT child abuse to allow your kid at age 16 to take hormones or to have surgery at age 18.

their freaking body isn't even fully developed yet. Sounds like abuse to me. See, kids are not granted many freedoms because they don't know any better. That's why they have parents. To tell them to eat their corn and not a twinkie...

 

[Dhara]

Why do you think kids have the mind to make decisions like that at such a young age?
I very much support them being adults when that stuff was to start up.
Frikkin Jenner is questioning going back to a man and he is like 60.
They are ill. If my child started questioning biology like that, I would focus more on the illness than give into it.
Give them love, actually listen and speak the truth to them... People have to accept themselves.

Your bias is that NO KID should question their biology or transition.

Yes, people need to accept themselves. Some people ARE transgender and you need to accept that.

 

[aaronleland]

I'm all for transgender teens taking hormone therapy as long as they know what they are getting into, but wonder if there should be an age limit. A 15-17 year old probably knows what they want by that point, but is a 12/13 year old prepared to make such a drastic, life-long decision?

It's controversial aaron, that's for sure. But is NOT child abuse to allow your kid at age 16 to take hormones or to have surgery at age 18.

their freaking body isn't even fully developed yet. Sounds like abuse to me. See, kids are not granted many freedoms because they don't know any better. That's why they have parents. To tell them to eat their corn and not a twinkie...

I understand your balls didn't drop until you were 30, but that's not the case with most people.

 

[Dhara]

I'm all for transgender teens taking hormone therapy as long as they know what they are getting into, but wonder if there should be an age limit. A 15-17 year old probably knows what they want by that point, but is a 12/13 year old prepared to make such a drastic, life-long decision?

It's controversial aaron, that's for sure. But is NOT child abuse to allow your kid at age 16 to take hormones or to have surgery at age 18.

their freaking body isn't even fully developed yet. Sounds like abuse to me. See, kids are not granted many freedoms because they don't know any better. That's why they have parents. To tell them to eat their corn and not a twinkie...

I can only speak for myself and my family. We don't do this casually or without great care and consult with doctors,. psychiatrists and psychotherapists.

 

[SassyIrishLass]

When you have 3-6 year old children claiming they are transgender you really need to take a look at the parenting.

No, not at the parenting, but at what is going on with the kid. Kids play at gender roles at young ages. I don't think letting any child that young take medication makes any sense.

I have raised six children through those years...children that age are not thinking about such complex sexual issues. It's bunk and BS...and child abuse

 

[Dhara]

You confuse gender with sexuality, sassy. They are two separate issues.

 

[TNHarley]

Why do you think kids have the mind to make decisions like that at such a young age?
I very much support them being adults when that stuff was to start up.
Frikkin Jenner is questioning going back to a man and he is like 60.
They are ill. If my child started questioning biology like that, I would focus more on the illness than give into it.
Give them love, actually listen and speak the truth to them... People have to accept themselves.

Your bias is that NO KID should question their biology or transition.

Yes, people need to accept themselves. Some people ARE transgender and you need to accept that.

And you think a kid that isn't even done developing has the mentality to deny basic biology like that?
I accept it. I have family that suffers from it.
I don't have a problem with trannies. I have a problem with the way society handles them and the special rights they want to give them. Talk about discrimination!

 

[Dhara]

My son is adopted. About the last thing in the world I expected was to be dealing with the transgender issue. Oddly enough, all the social workers and counselors thought it was great. Lesbian parents with a transgender youth.

If we can't accept and support him, who will?