Parenting Transgender Youth

[anotherlife]

I think it is worse. From science, it looks that there are two separate parts of the neuro system that deal with desires, sexual or other. One part is responsible for the desire for something, and it is a separate part that is responsible for getting satisfaction and thereby balance the desire. If these two parts are not matched, you get either a passive person, or an unsatisfiable bully. The transgender psychology is widely observed to fall in the second category.

Post a link to a reputable site please.

You mean one that is not trained with the stupid anglosaxon LGBT propaganda that homosexuality is not a decease? I was trying the scientific approach.

You have any credentials to be using a "scientific approach?" I imagine that you do not. Link?

The last time this was scientifically discussed in the English language was in the early 1980's, which is when homosexuality was removed from the DSM publication of the surgeon general, which is used nationwide as a basis of legal coding of medical diagnoses. The two neurological processes working independently was a fact even back then though, although this is ancient history. Nature is built after much more shoddy plans than what we would expect.

Sorry, I'm not buying it. I think it is a psychological disorder similar to anorexia, a body dysmorphic syndrome.

So you agree with me then. The dis balance between the two systems causes the two types of psychological disorders that I described. The drive versus satisfaction problem.

 

[Dhara]

I am glad my kids didn't go through a mentally combative move in having a sex change...

Must be hard on the kids and the parents too, but I still think that potentially dangerous and life changing surgery and hormones are NOT the way to go with this. It could ruin the kid's life permanently.

My son is nearly 17. Next July he will be 18. He will have the surgery then and it won't be up to me anymore. You can lose a kid if you are not supportive of who he is.

Don't think I didn't make him see 2 psychiatrists and 3 pediatric endocrinologist before I agreed. This is no light thing and I wouldn't have wished it on anyone. Try and imagine how this kid feels.

I don't lack empathy for your or his situation. I just don't think that surgery and hormone therapy is the right course. That's my opinion on the matter.

Yes, I know it's your opinion.

My wife and I wish he was just a tomboy girl than to have to alter his body like this.

My son says he NEVER wanted to give birth. (Bio mom had nine children and he is the oldest.).

 

[Dhara]

I am glad my kids didn't go through a mentally combative move in having a sex change...

Must be hard on the kids and the parents too, but I still think that potentially dangerous and life changing surgery and hormones are NOT the way to go with this. It could ruin the kid's life permanently.

My son is nearly 17. Next July he will be 18. He will have the surgery then and it won't be up to me anymore. You can lose a kid if you are not supportive of who he is.

Don't think I didn't make him see 2 psychiatrists and 3 pediatric endocrinologist before I agreed. This is no light thing and I wouldn't have wished it on anyone. Try and imagine how this kid feels.

If I may ask, what did the two psychiatrists say?

They both concurred that my son did not have any psychiatric diagnosis that would make hormone therapy for him inappropriate.

 

[anotherlife]

Do you want to look at the other side of this Chris? Or is any parent who agrees to let their child start hormone therapy abusive?

Is the child malformed physically or mentally? And if yes, then is that caused hormonally? If yes to both, then a restorative hormon therapy may be useful. Otherwise it is biologically dangerous and should wait till adulthood.

He's one year away from being old enough to have surgery. Hormones at 17 is not an extremely radical treatment. He has been living as a male already for 3 years. His bio mom's comment was "Now I know why he went to school pissed off everyday after I'd fix his hair and put him a dress every day".

Are his genitals female? The biggest problem is to match the sceletal structure with the new body biology. At 17 this may not be too late, but can't be done earlier either. Although, if this is a female to male transformation, then males have usually a lot less scrutiny about their bodies by the opposite gender lovers. In this case, what I would be most puzzled about would be, how to install a working penis on him/her. There are transplant surgeries and these days they are usually successful, but if the underlying tissues are not the right arrangement, then how do you make them work? Genital transplants are usually successful for repairs like bodged circumcision or accident restoration.

 

[ChrisL]

Why all the focus on their genitals? Doesn't this, in and of itself, seem an unhealthy obsession? Focus on being a happy "person." The obsession with mutilating their genitals is extremely bothersome.

 

[Lilah]

I am glad my kids didn't go through a mentally combative move in having a sex change...

Must be hard on the kids and the parents too, but I still think that potentially dangerous and life changing surgery and hormones are NOT the way to go with this. It could ruin the kid's life permanently.

My son is nearly 17. Next July he will be 18. He will have the surgery then and it won't be up to me anymore. You can lose a kid if you are not supportive of who he is.

Don't think I didn't make him see 2 psychiatrists and 3 pediatric endocrinologist before I agreed. This is no light thing and I wouldn't have wished it on anyone. Try and imagine how this kid feels.

If I may ask, what did the two psychiatrists say?

They both concurred that my son did not have any psychiatric diagnosis that would make hormone therapy for him inappropriate.

Did they have an opinion concerning his desire to want to transition into another gender identity.
Personally, I don't know a transgender person, but I would never impose my views on them. Admittedly, I don't understand the strong desire to want to change one's gender, but then there are thousands of things I don't understand.
You seem very caring and loving, and the world needs more people like you.

 

[Dhara]

Do you want to look at the other side of this Chris? Or is any parent who agrees to let their child start hormone therapy abusive?

Is the child malformed physically or mentally? And if yes, then is that caused hormonally? If yes to both, then a restorative hormon therapy may be useful. Otherwise it is biologically dangerous and should wait till adulthood.

He's one year away from being old enough to have surgery. Hormones at 17 is not an extremely radical treatment. He has been living as a male already for 3 years. His bio mom's comment was "Now I know why he went to school pissed off everyday after I'd fix his hair and put him a dress every day".

Are his genitals female? The biggest problem is to match the sceletal structure with the new body biology. At 17 this may not be too late, but can't be done earlier either. Although, if this is a female to male transformation, then males have usually a lot less scrutiny about their bodies by the opposite gender lovers. In this case, what I would be most puzzled about would be, how to install a working penis on him/her. There are transplant surgeries and these days they are usually successful, but if the underlying tissues are not the right arrangement, then how do you make them work? Genital transplants are usually successful for repairs like bodged circumcision or accident restoration.

He was allowed to legally change his name when we adopted him. He chose a male name. Since he's been getting hormone therapy, his doctor has written a letter declaring him male even though he is one year awy from surgery.

He will have a new birth certificate saying male, and when he gets his driver's license this summer, he will have ID with his photo on it saying male. We will get passports soon after that.

 

[Dhara]

I am glad my kids didn't go through a mentally combative move in having a sex change...

Must be hard on the kids and the parents too, but I still think that potentially dangerous and life changing surgery and hormones are NOT the way to go with this. It could ruin the kid's life permanently.

My son is nearly 17. Next July he will be 18. He will have the surgery then and it won't be up to me anymore. You can lose a kid if you are not supportive of who he is.

Don't think I didn't make him see 2 psychiatrists and 3 pediatric endocrinologist before I agreed. This is no light thing and I wouldn't have wished it on anyone. Try and imagine how this kid feels.

If I may ask, what did the two psychiatrists say?

They both concurred that my son did not have any psychiatric diagnosis that would make hormone therapy for him inappropriate.

Did they have an opinion concerning his desire to want to transition into another gender identity.
Personally, I don't know a transgender person, but I would never impose my views on them. Admittedly, I don't understand the strong desire to want to change one's gender, but then there are thousands of things I don't understand.
You seem very caring and loving, and the world needs more people like you.

Their opinion was positive about my son transitioning to male. He's been living as male for nearly 3 years now.

 

[ChrisL]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

 

[Dhara]

Why all the focus on their genitals? Doesn't this, in and of itself, seem an unhealthy obsession? Focus on being a happy "person." The obsession with mutilating their genitals is extremely bothersome.

What if you as a woman woke up one day as you are and found a penis attached to you. Wouldn't you want it cut off?

He's walking around flattening his breasts, and hating his genitals. He isn't interested in sex . He's more developing psychologically than being a physical male.

 

[Lilah]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

 

[anotherlife]

Why all the focus on their genitals? Doesn't this, in and of itself, seem an unhealthy obsession? Focus on being a happy "person." The obsession with mutilating their genitals is extremely bothersome.

This is probably where females and males differ. I guess it is possible that females can be perfectly happy never to use their funnies. But males are rarely if ever programmed with such an option. Every impotent male is in a tail spin.

 

[Dhara]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

 

[ChrisL]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

 

[Dhara]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

I actually watched a "bottom surgery" with my son. (on a video). His request.

 

[ChrisL]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

Statistics say they are not actually "happy" following the surgery either, because their genitals are not the problem.

 

[Dhara]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Well, not every trans is the same. They don't all care about bottom surgery

 

[Lilah]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

Thank about it this way, what if you had experienced a double mastectomy, would you want to have reconstructive surgery to provide you with a new set of breasts?

That is apples and oranges. Mastectomies are done because the breasts are diseased. These people have healthy and functional genitals, but they are obsessed with them, as if THAT is what will bring them happiness in this life.

Many men have left their wives/girlfriends because of mastectomies; therefore, breasts are a large part of a woman's sexuality.
You keep saying transgenders are obsessed with their genitals, but you don't give a reason as to why. Caitlyn Jenner still has a penis, and most likely using it to copulate.

 

[anotherlife]

Do you want to look at the other side of this Chris? Or is any parent who agrees to let their child start hormone therapy abusive?

Is the child malformed physically or mentally? And if yes, then is that caused hormonally? If yes to both, then a restorative hormon therapy may be useful. Otherwise it is biologically dangerous and should wait till adulthood.

He's one year away from being old enough to have surgery. Hormones at 17 is not an extremely radical treatment. He has been living as a male already for 3 years. His bio mom's comment was "Now I know why he went to school pissed off everyday after I'd fix his hair and put him a dress every day".

Are his genitals female? The biggest problem is to match the sceletal structure with the new body biology. At 17 this may not be too late, but can't be done earlier either. Although, if this is a female to male transformation, then males have usually a lot less scrutiny about their bodies by the opposite gender lovers. In this case, what I would be most puzzled about would be, how to install a working penis on him/her. There are transplant surgeries and these days they are usually successful, but if the underlying tissues are not the right arrangement, then how do you make them work? Genital transplants are usually successful for repairs like bodged circumcision or accident restoration.

He was allowed to legally change his name when we adopted him. He chose a male name. Since he's been getting hormone therapy, his doctor has written a letter declaring him male even though he is one year awy from surgery.

He will have a new birth certificate saying male, and when he gets his driver's license this summer, he will have ID with his photo on it saying male. We will get passports soon after that.

This is not sufficient, and this will not help him. In this case, if this is all that can be done, and a working biological penis is not guaranteed, then she is better with keeping her female body, and continue as a lesbian. This will remain a problem for her forever, until a psychological or rather a brain neuro surgical cure can be found for her condition. If her new penis has a chance of not getting erect hard upon a touch, then she should not give up her currently working genitals. I would advice her for a lesbian lifestyle then as opposed to a male one.

 

[Dhara]

Most often, female to male "bottom" surgeries do not work out well at all. They can create a "penis" but it is usually not functional. Sad. Sad that these people focus on their "genitals" to bring them happiness.

It's not as sad as you'd think. Some trans kids who have the surgery are in supportive relationships and their mates and family support them.

Gender is more than genitals. Funny, I've mused more than once with my wife, "why can't he just be a nice normal lesbian"?

Statistics say they are not actually "happy" following the surgery either, because their genitals are not the problem.

What statistics? How much research is there? This is leading edge right now being sorted out.