I have cousins and more distant relatives who have connections in the community to pull strings, bring false accusations with false allegations of mental illness, and play other life-ruining tricks on me.I had a stepfather when I was younger who took great delight in beating on my mother, my sister, and myself anytime he had a bad day. Usually it was my mother that took the majority of the beatings, and one of the things he said to her while he was beating her was to ask her why she caused him to beat her. And no, the spouse generally never asks for it, and if a person is any kind of a real adult, before the fists start flying and bodies get thrown across the room, they can leave for a while to calm down and cool off.
You sound like a victim of gang stalking.