make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

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King cobras charm him.

 

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His toenails are insured for a million dollars.

 

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His favorite three-piece suits are biodegradable.

 

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Bugs do not hit his windshield, out of respect.

 

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He has never eaten "sourdough" bread, just because bread has never soured on him.

 

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One shot glass of his homemade vinegar has caught more flies than the totality of all turds ever dumped on planet earth.

 

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He once vacationed in an F5 tornado.

 

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Banana peels give him greater traction.

 

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He has been known to bathe sometimes in quicksand.

 

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He personally built several wasps' nests in his bedroom, just because he enjoys their company.

 

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He waits to pass cars until he sees double-yellow lines on the pavement — for the sheer thrill of it all.

 

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He can air up a flat tire, just by staring deeply into the puncture that flattened it.

 

[Mr. H.]

Christian by day, Muslim by night. Hetero here, gay there. He is... the most interesting man in the world.

He is the President of the United States.

 

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He puts on his pants two legs at a time.

 

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He makes quilts for motorcycle gangs.

 

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He has never been afraid of pissing off a hog farmer.

 

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His candles burn at three ends.

 

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He has never told a joke for free.

 

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He sometimes wears a baseball cap for two days straight, just to make his hair look good.

 

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As a child, he often gave candy to strangers.