Kids Hitting Parents

[strollingbones]

when they are wee ones you must teach them empathy....we are starting this with bestest baby....she has began that 14 month old trash......hitting...biting...pulling hair...ouchie....seems we are to act like we are hurt and imprint on her that hurting others is bad....we iz teaching empathy...we are rolling with the advice of the aunt who taught these little creatures for a few years...so lets see how teaching empathy goes....my idea of popping her was not even put on the table......

 

[strollingbones]

some parents cant handle their kid saying 'i hate you'....you got to handle that....if they realize it hurts you....it just joins their arsenal of weapons...you are not their friend...you are not there to win their love....hating you is good to go...as far as i am concerned....i am a mother not a pal...

 

[Bonzi]

well I certainly wasn't parent of the year. But, I can say neither of my kids ever said "I Hate You", hit me or threw temper tantrums (in public or private).

I was not even that great of a disciplinarian - I spoiled them rotten. Spent a lot of money on them on stuff. I honestly think I just got lucky because both of them are pretty successful, stable men (for now).

I am not sure what makes a kid like that - full of hate, rage and anger. Maybe you don't even have to be filled with those things to curse or hit your parents.... but if you are acting out, something is wrong. I just don't know if it's all on the parents, or if some of it is genetic. The families I have seen they may have one child like this and another not at all like this....

 

[Bonzi]

I've heard of more and more instances where kids are hitting/kicking etc. their parents.

How do you think a parent should handle this?

Kids will also threaten to call the cops on their parents as well.....

I know how my father would have handled it.... my funeral would not hsve been an open casket affair.

I believe that.....

 

[Iceweasel]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

 

[Anathema]

I believe that.....

As yoi should. My issue currently is a pair of nephews; one who talks back snd the other who is verbslly threatening and occasionally physically so who I am not allowed to deal with due to "sensibilities" in my wife's family.

 

[Bonzi]

I believe that.....

As yoi should. My issue currently is a pair of nephews; one who talks back snd the other who is verbslly threatening and occasionally physically so who I am not allowed to deal with due to "sensibilities" in my wife's family.

well they are not your responsibility - however, I suppose you do have to deal with them when they are around. But I would be willing to bet that they don't mess with you.....

 

[Moonglow]

I don't have to spank an unruly child to make their life a living hell..

 

[Moonglow]

There are plenty of other ways to discipline...

 

[Disir]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

 

[Bonzi]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

teachers used to do it all the time.....

 

[Disir]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

teachers used to do it all the time.....

Yep.

 

[Moonglow]

Our teachers just paddled your ass or made you do something humiliating...

 

[Iceweasel]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

But what about when they are old enough to leave? They don't have to worry about losing access to anything, so boom, there goes your discipline. I'm sure some parents get hit but what's that got to do with anything? They can't hit you if you never spanked them?

 

[Disir]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

But what about when they are old enough to leave? They don't have to worry about losing access to anything, so boom, there goes your discipline. I'm sure some parents get hit but what's that got to do with anything? They can't hit you if you never spanked them?

What do you mean, when they are old enough to leave? What age are you talking about?

First off there is no cookie cutter approach to whatever is going on.
That said, it depends on the state you live in. You are responsible for that kid until they reach either 17 or 18 or whatever age your state says. So, I'm not sure what you are saying here.

 

[Iceweasel]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

But what about when they are old enough to leave? They don't have to worry about losing access to anything, so boom, there goes your discipline. I'm sure some parents get hit but what's that got to do with anything? They can't hit you if you never spanked them?

What do you mean, when they are old enough to leave? What age are you talking about?

First off there is no cookie cutter approach to whatever is going on.
That said, it depends on the state you live in. You are responsible for that kid until they reach either 17 or 18 or whatever age your state says. So, I'm not sure what you are saying here.

That is what I meant. Once they leave they have all their stuff all the time. I didn't say you couldn't/shouldn't try other methods first but if kids are hitting parents that means they have no respect for them. So I don't agree that spanking is the issue. Abuse certainly would be.

 

[ChrisL]

I only spanked my son a handful of times. He never hit me or anything like that. Spanking is not the only way to discipline. Different things work with different kids.

 

[ChrisL]

Grounding them can work well, but you have to be consistent and stick with the punishment, which is sometimes can feel like more punishing yourself.

 

[ChrisL]

Most parents who spank their kids are hitting them out of anger and frustration. That is the simple fact. The times when I spanked my son, it was out of anger and frustration and later on, I felt terrible about it. Like a bully or something.

 

[strollingbones]

i remember the summer i took everything outta his room and took his bedroom door off...for 3 months he sat on his bed and stared at the wall...in total defiance...no one won or accomplished a damn thing that summer....seems my son learned empathy and compassion from me....as well as how to be stubborn af