Kids Hitting Parents

[OldLady]

Re: OP, if your 9 or 10 year old is hitting or kicking you...it's too late, and it's probably your fault... (unless the kid has some psychiatric condition beyond his/her and your control)

well it's not my kids! They would not dare! They are 20 and 27 y/o men now. I'm very proud of them !

I didn't mean you! Figure of speech.

 

[Anathema]

well they are not your responsibility - however, I suppose you do have to deal with them when they are around. But I would be willing to bet that they don't mess with you.....

You would be amazed at how much these little brats will do when they know they have mommy to go hide behind. Both of the mothers throw a fit when I even look harshly at their offspring. Especially since I've proven a willingness to take them in hand when necessary.

 

[strollingbones]

the tween age is when they get all testy and pushie...seeing how far they can push the limits and testing parents.....they just get a wee bit hard to love at that age.....but its the age of '**** you' being said.....o my his father cleared the area between them like superman....speed of a bullet and put him up against the wall...surely the grown ass kid knows his old dad is beyond this now....but he sees grumpy's temper flare and he does not say anything but 'yes sir' but 99% of the discipline falls to the mother...and you cant use force....cause they are gonna get stronger than you.....now if they are doing something stupid where a quick pop is needed to get their attention....like taking their shoes off in the bitter cold and snow....then a pop may be needed....or the 16 yr old lying right to your face....i felt a good right hand upside his head was needed....lol....and it worked...some see kids as flowers needing all the sunlight and all....i see the little creatures as roses...roses need a lot of pruning to become beautiful and fullfill their destiny...so do ******* kids

 

[strollingbones]

o i have that stare that makes kids qet ******* quiet.....i think they see it in my eyes....they get quiet and they sit the **** down....

 

[OldLady]

We're talking about middle/upper middle class kids who are 9,10,11 years old. Not babies or toddlers.

They know their parents can't retaliate, and most parents won't even enforce restrictions etc. either because it's too much of a hassle for THEM (the parents)....

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

teachers used to do it all the time.....

When my son was in 5th grade, he decided to go home with a friend after school. Friend's dad wasn't home from work, and neither was I. I got a call from the babysitter, asking why he hadn't shown up on the bus. I spent three of the most terrified hours of my life, until the friend's Dad got home from work and I got a phone call.
Besides explaining that this was the absolute worst thing he had ever done, I made him spend three days after school copying the definition of 'telephone' from the dictionary. He had ADHD, and it was the worst possible punishment he could have gotten. For some kids, that would have been nothing.

 

[gipper]

I loved my children unconditionally when they were young and they loved me back. However, when they were disrespectful or insubordinate, all I had to do was give them the look. It worked almost every time. Maybe I was just lucky to have good kids.

 

[OldLady]

o i have that stare that makes kids qet ******* quiet.....i think they see it in my eyes....they get quiet and they sit the **** down....

The hairy eyeball is very effective. The quiet stare also makes them think

 

[strollingbones]

lol@when they loved you back....they never stop loving you....i have found.....my son would take a bullet for me...i know that...might not return a call for days but he would take a bullet for me....unfortunately there is a silver lining to having cancer....suddenly they show a lot of love...

 

[strollingbones]

i think it is cause they dont see the hairy eyeball at home...and it does set them back

 

[frigidweirdo]

I've heard of more and more instances where kids are hitting/kicking etc. their parents.

How do you think a parent should handle this?

Kids will also threaten to call the cops on their parents as well.....

Learn to be parents.

Unfortunately in the modern world many parents don't know where to start.

Education is the key, kids should be learning how to treat others at school and learn at the very least basic parenting skills, so when they arrive at being a parent, they're not lost.

 

[strollingbones]

easy to be a bad parent...takes time and energy to be a good one....most are not making the effort.....i dont understand that...if you cant be high energy and give them the time...why bother to have kids?

 

[Disir]

At 9,10 and 11 years old those children love something. They are attached to something. Playing outside, gymnastics, Mine Craft, dolls, toys, television, computers, video games---there is something there that they love. Take it away.

You can take away a pain free ass, it works wonders and gives them the right message. Stupid hurts. Your way just teaches them to be manipulators.

No it doesn't. She who giveths also taketh away. Everything that kids have outside of food, clothing, shelter and utilities and education is given to them. It can be taken away. You do not have a "right" to video games, toys or a phone. These are luxury items.

Spanking and paddling works in some situations and may not work in others. Sometimes it's a combination of disciplinary approaches to stop a specific behavior. The kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined.....when they reach the age of reasoning.

You would be surprised at the number of parents that beat the holy crap out of their kids up until the time that they learn how to fight back. They are shocked when their kids punch them. Or the number of boys that see Dad or a dad figure beat the holy hell out of mom. Dad is shocked when he gets sucker punched.

Some parents have incorporated writing like......copying every word out of the dictionary or writing sentences.

But what about when they are old enough to leave? They don't have to worry about losing access to anything, so boom, there goes your discipline. I'm sure some parents get hit but what's that got to do with anything? They can't hit you if you never spanked them?

What do you mean, when they are old enough to leave? What age are you talking about?

First off there is no cookie cutter approach to whatever is going on.
That said, it depends on the state you live in. You are responsible for that kid until they reach either 17 or 18 or whatever age your state says. So, I'm not sure what you are saying here.

That is what I meant. Once they leave they have all their stuff all the time. I didn't say you couldn't/shouldn't try other methods first but if kids are hitting parents that means they have no respect for them. So I don't agree that spanking is the issue. Abuse certainly would be.

Hmmm......I don't recall ever stating that spanking is the issue. Kids mimic adults.

Once they leave they are responsible for their own behavior. Now, they have to work to obtain the same stuff.

We don't have the luxury of knowing the ins and outs of this particular family. It could be something as simple as two younger kids mimicking the older kid and the older kid has some issues.

 

[Bonzi]

easy to be a bad parent...takes time and energy to be a good one....most are not making the effort.....i dont understand that...if you cant be high energy and give them the time...why bother to have kids?

Many people don't realize the extreme sacrifice it takes. Having kids is "romanticized" often.
Also, people will have kids for the wrong reasons - entrapment, money (more welfare $), and sometimes just spur of the moment passionate stupidity......

 

[OldLady]

Okay, y'all, you knew this had to be coming:

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

This was on the wall of my doctor's office when I was a little kid, and I think the positive stuff was listed first, but anyway, it's a point. Doesn't mean discipline isn't necessary, but as parents, we ARE our kids most important role models. Which is why most of ours turned out just fine, I'm sure.

 

[PoliticalChic]

I loved my children unconditionally when they were young and they loved me back. However, when they were disrespectful or insubordinate, all I had to do was give them the look. It worked almost every time. Maybe I was just lucky to have good kids.

I often worry about the safety of my children. Especially when they roll their eyes and talk back.

 

[longknife]

We teach kids how to get knocked up in school. But, outside churches, we never teach them how to be a parent - or even a good partner.

 

[Jarlaxle]

even if they don't call the police, they will tell their teachers etc. if you do anything at all out of the way.....

Or do what my wife did: after a half dozen warnings that if he raised a hand to her she'd put him in the hospital, her father slapped her.

She put him in the hospital.

 

[Jarlaxle]

I've heard of more and more instances where kids are hitting/kicking etc. their parents.

How do you think a parent should handle this?

Kids will also threaten to call the cops on their parents as well.....

If one of my kids would've hit me they'd be out on the street in a second. One threw water in my face and that's what happened to her. And her mother didn't fight me over it.

You're lucky she didn't use the nuclear option: "Daddy molested me."

 

[Jarlaxle]

Well the problem with that is that parents can go to jail or get their kids taken away.
Kids are smart and know this and it's becoming a problem (I think) or could become a problem....

Kids need to be aware that if they report their parents for being abusive......it is THEY who get taken away

Kid threatens to call CPS,. dial it for them.

I actually know someone that dialed 91 and told their kid all the had to do was dial 1.....

Great idea...until the kid does it, and accuses you of child molestation. At that point...just suck a shotgun, your life is over.

 

[Jarlaxle]

i have a bad temper...really bad temper....when my son was around 10 ish....i went to smack him and he threatened to call social services....bad bad move kid...i went ******* nuts....told him to go ahead and make his damn call cause it would take them at least 20 minutes or more to get here and i was gonna beat the hell outta him till they got here...and then they would take his ass and put him in foster care and i sure the hell wasnt a good enough parent to get his ass back.....he began to cry and said the teachers told him to say that shit....that was the first and last time i heard that shit...now hubby was not real happy with how i handled it....but i will be damned if anyone is gonna blackmail me...much less hit me...my grown ass son is now 6 ft 4 inches but knows damn well i will go crazy ******* white women in a heartbeat...and no one wants to see that...

You're lucky you didn't wake up to a butcher's knife in the guts...or a pan of boiling water dumped on you while you slept...or rat poison in Sunday dinner.