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Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP For Slander


Platinum Member
Jul 20, 2011
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Don't harsh my zen, Jen!
Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP For Slander | Free Wood Post

Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit today in the New York Supreme Court against the Republican National Committee for what he is calling “egregious misrepresentation of his statements and image.”

One of the attorneys representing Christ had this to say:

“For years Republicans have proclaimed their love for and loyalty to Jesus, yet their actions are highly contradictory to what Mr. Christ preached. Instead of helping the poor and the sick GOP instead punishes the poor and the sickly.

Our client isn’t telling the GOP what their agenda should be, he simply wants them to stop using his name when their actions contradict everything he stood for.

If the GOP would like to continue using his name they have to start making a significant effort to help the poor and the sick, instead of the rich, and start promoting a more peaceful agenda.”

When asked about the lawsuit, House Speaker John Boehner made the following remarks:

“Mr. Christ is entitled to his opinion, however the GOP believes that the underlying message in the Bible is that giving tax cuts to the wealthy is the true path to happiness.

I don’t know where Mr. Christ thinks the Bible says to help the poor and the sick, but that sounds awfully socialistic to me, and we are not a socialist country.”

The lawsuit goes even further than just spoken word references to Jesus. According to the suit “images that inaccurately depict Jesus Christ, who was born in Middle Eastern country, as a Caucasian man with light skin, can no longer be displayed by political officials who claim they understand the Bible.”

It was bound to happen.

Big Black Dog

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May 20, 2009
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I don't mind the liberal Democrats helping out the poor and the sick just as long as they don't make me poor and sick in their efforts to help.


Wise ol' monkey
Feb 6, 2011
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Okolona, KY
An old Alan Thicke joke:

People think Heaven and Hell are on two different levels...

... but actually they are on the same level with a fence separating them...

... and it's Satan's responsibility to keep the fence up.

One day Jesus was out in the back forty and noticed the fence was in disrepair...

... and the little demons from Hell could easily get into Heaven if it weren't fixed.

So Jesus called Satan over and reminded him it was his responsibility to maintain the fence...

... but Satan got sassy and said "And what if I don't?"

Then Jesus said, "Well then, I'll just get a lawyer and sue you and make you fix the fence".

Whereupon Satan said, "And just where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?'

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