- Jul 20, 2011
- Reaction score
- Don't harsh my zen, Jen!
Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy « Borowitz Report
Rep. Cantor noted that the word empathy comes from the Greek word pathos, meaning pathetic and thats exactly what helping people is: pathetic.
We Americans should get out of the habit of using Greek words, he added. Look where its gotten the Greeks straight into bankruptcy.
Once congressional Republicans eliminate such empathy-laden budget items as lunches for poor children, medicine for the indigent and oxygen for seniors, Rep. Cantor said, We can move from cutting empathy to cutting humanity.
With humanity removed from the budget, he said, Thats where the real savings come in.
By eliminating the food, medicine and oxygen necessary to sustain human life, We will reduce the single biggest drain on the U.S. economy: people.
Ending on an optimistic note, Rep. Cantor said that by eliminating people, by the middle of this century the United States will be successfully transformed into one big unmanned Predator drone.
Elsewhere, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin said she is considering running for President just for the free clothes and shit.