CDZ Is calling someone Fat okay?

[The_Lyrical_Miracle]

When the opposite sex rejects you, it definitely can spur you into action. When I was 16, I was a nerd. I really liked this girl who was sort of nerdy too, and was valedictorian of our class. We were friendly for awhile, went to the prom together. I assumed she would want someone kind of like her, a college-bound intellectual. Later I saw her with an older guy who had played football and wrestled and was only a high school graduate and a middling student at that. She ended up marrying him. That shook me to my foundations. From that point onward, I started lifting weights and completely changed. I was known for being a muscle man. I was doing it to 'get back at her' in my mind, to make her sorry for dumping me, and to make sure I never got rejected again for being a nerd. Today at 62, I'm still lifting, still trying to get back at her, even though I haven't seen her for 40 years and likely will never see her again. I use it for motivation. Because I know that if I ever do see her, I will definitely look fitter than her husband. It's childish, but I don't care.

While I don't think your focus on her is necessarily "healthy" mentally on paper.. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. My only hope would be that you can somehow transfer that drive from "getting back" at someone to just doing it for yourself. But, you're 62, you're set in your ways. If it fuels you and it's something you can cling to, don't listen to any keyboard psychologist like me.

Thank you for sharing. One might think that because I start this thread that I'm probably some ripped up dude who can't understand the issues of people who are overweight, I'm not. I have a history of power lifting, and have struggled most of my life with being thick, rotund, pudgy etc. I can bulk up excellently, but I can't cut at all. However, I can admit that I'm safely in the "overweight" category currently. I know my eating habits have been bad, whether due to stress, life scenarios that have happened, or just bad long term habits. I have my excuses, and it's my life, but... I'm not going to tell anyone that there's nothing wrong with me or my body, there is... and I'm starting to work on fixing it.

 

[braalian]

When the opposite sex rejects you, it definitely can spur you into action. When I was 16, I was a nerd. I really liked this girl who was sort of nerdy too, and was valedictorian of our class. We were friendly for awhile, went to the prom together. I assumed she would want someone kind of like her, a college-bound intellectual. Later I saw her with an older guy who had played football and wrestled and was only a high school graduate and a middling student at that. She ended up marrying him. That shook me to my foundations. From that point onward, I started lifting weights and completely changed. I was known for being a muscle man. I was doing it to 'get back at her' in my mind, to make her sorry for dumping me, and to make sure I never got rejected again for being a nerd. Today at 62, I'm still lifting, still trying to get back at her, even though I haven't seen her for 40 years and likely will never see her again. I use it for motivation. Because I know that if I ever do see her, I will definitely look fitter than her husband. It's childish, but I don't care.

eh, any muscular guy who’s being honest will admit part of the original motivation was they were snubbed by a girl or wanted to intimidate the competition.

But, at your ages, do you really think she’d remember or recognize you after all those years?

 

[Uranus]

I wouldn't use the word fat, but if you know them well and speak in a nice way and don't leave them feeling awful then yes and it's a good thing.

 

[Man of Ethics]

NO. Fat people know they are fat, and they don't need to be reminded.

I do not know if I weigh 159 kg or 161 kg -- somewhere in the region of 160 kg.

 

[Man of Ethics]

The_Lyrical_Miracle

I'm about 20 pounds overweight right now and if you said anything to me about it I would just avoid you. I wouldn't like that personally.

I weigh 160 kg. Most of that is of avian origin -- broiled chickens and turkeys.

Social media induces a lot of stress.

 

[CowboyTed]

I wouldn't use the word fat, but if you know them well and speak in a nice way and don't leave them feeling awful then yes and it's a good thing.

I would never normally say something bad about someones weight... It is rude and not very helpful.

If I was concerned, I bring up my own weight successes or failures in conversation...
If they want to talk about it they will, that is the best way to help...

There are new drugs on the market like Ozempic which is given to Type 2 Diabetics for blood sugar control & weight loss... European Health Systems are handing it free to everyone... I lost over 40 pounds on it in a couple of months with no other changes...

There is a non diabetic one as well...

 

[JoeMoma]

The topic of "Fat shaming" get's muddled down by simplicity. It usually goes like this:

Normal Person: Fat shaming is tough to hear but it's factually accurate and can cause self-reflection. Reality can be harsh. ​

​

Body Positive Activist: But it's mean and traumatizes people, I've been called fat and it hurt me. I feel beautiful how I am and I shouldn't be made fun of for it.​

​

NP: Nobody is making fun of you. If someone relentlessly bullies you for being fat, it's wrong. But if someone sizes you up and says you're fat in an informative way, it's entirely appropriate.​

​

BPA: Yes you can make changes... BUT (insert reason to stay overweight)​

Does anyone on this board have a problem with people saying an obese person is fat? I'm not talking about pointing fingers in public and mocking them... I'm saying, whether warmly or coldly, just some constructive criticism that you're overweight, and there's significant health problems associated.

Also, does anyone support body positive activists trying influence the youth that "big is beautiful" to supposedly protect their mental health?

I am fat, and sometimes I refer to myself as such. I am not so sensitive that I would get mad over someone agreeing with me that I am fat and using that word to describe me.

Having said that, I am much less fat than I was a couple of months ago. I've reduced my body weight by slightly over 10% since January. I'm trying to change my eating habits to healthy eating habits for the rest of my life rather than yo-yo dieting.

 

[GLASNOST]

It's OK to call someone fat if you are Will Smith, you know that guy who can take a joke as easily as make them?

 

[Concerned American]

I am fat, and sometimes I refer to myself as such. I am not so sensitive that I would get mad over someone agreeing with me that I am fat and using that word to describe me.

Having said that, I am much less fat than I was a couple of months ago. I've reduced my body weight by slightly over 10% since January. I'm trying to change my eating habits to healthy eating habits for the rest of my life rather than yo-yo dieting.

Best of luck in your endeavor.

 

[YoursTruly]

I am fat, and sometimes I refer to myself as such. I am not so sensitive that I would get mad over someone agreeing with me that I am fat and using that word to describe me.

Having said that, I am much less fat than I was a couple of months ago. I've reduced my body weight by slightly over 10% since January. I'm trying to change my eating habits to healthy eating habits for the rest of my life rather than yo-yo dieting.

When someone is saying something insulting, just to be insulting, it's a game on type thing. You're fat, and they could call you skinny in an insulting way, and it would be just as insulting as calling you fat.
Mean spirited people, or pissed off people are just that.
Sometimes it's hard to blow those kind of people off.

 

[Muhammed]

The topic of "Fat shaming" get's muddled down by simplicity. It usually goes like this:

Normal Person: Fat shaming is tough to hear but it's factually accurate and can cause self-reflection. Reality can be harsh. ​

​

Body Positive Activist: But it's mean and traumatizes people, I've been called fat and it hurt me. I feel beautiful how I am and I shouldn't be made fun of for it.​

​

NP: Nobody is making fun of you. If someone relentlessly bullies you for being fat, it's wrong. But if someone sizes you up and says you're fat in an informative way, it's entirely appropriate.​

​

BPA: Yes you can make changes... BUT (insert reason to stay overweight)​

Does anyone on this board have a problem with people saying an obese person is fat? I'm not talking about pointing fingers in public and mocking them... I'm saying, whether warmly or coldly, just some constructive criticism that you're overweight, and there's significant health problems associated.

Also, does anyone support body positive activists trying influence the youth that "big is beautiful" to supposedly protect their mental health?

Some things are better left unsaid. It's not like fat people don't know that they are fat. After all, they are the ones who are carrying around all that extra bulk all day, every day, every waking moment of their lives.

They already know that they're fat.

 

[surada]

Indeed. And I'm differentiating. I'm not saying mocking people and bullying them. But simply identifying that they're overweight, fat, obese, etc. Sometimes people need to be shook up a bit, and it's never easy. Reality is a b*tch sometimes, and nobody wants to leave their comfort zone, myself included.

Is that your job?

 

[iceberg]

The topic of "Fat shaming" get's muddled down by simplicity. It usually goes like this:

Normal Person: Fat shaming is tough to hear but it's factually accurate and can cause self-reflection. Reality can be harsh. ​

​

Body Positive Activist: But it's mean and traumatizes people, I've been called fat and it hurt me. I feel beautiful how I am and I shouldn't be made fun of for it.​

​

NP: Nobody is making fun of you. If someone relentlessly bullies you for being fat, it's wrong. But if someone sizes you up and says you're fat in an informative way, it's entirely appropriate.​

​

BPA: Yes you can make changes... BUT (insert reason to stay overweight)​

Does anyone on this board have a problem with people saying an obese person is fat? I'm not talking about pointing fingers in public and mocking them... I'm saying, whether warmly or coldly, just some constructive criticism that you're overweight, and there's significant health problems associated.

Also, does anyone support body positive activists trying influence the youth that "big is beautiful" to supposedly protect their mental health?

do you think many of us overweight people don't know about the health risks?

you can call me fat all you want. i am. but keep your preaching to yourself.

 

[1stNickD]

The topic of "Fat shaming" get's muddled down by simplicity. It usually goes like this:

Normal Person: Fat shaming is tough to hear but it's factually accurate and can cause self-reflection. Reality can be harsh. ​

​

Body Positive Activist: But it's mean and traumatizes people, I've been called fat and it hurt me. I feel beautiful how I am and I shouldn't be made fun of for it.​

​

NP: Nobody is making fun of you. If someone relentlessly bullies you for being fat, it's wrong. But if someone sizes you up and says you're fat in an informative way, it's entirely appropriate.​

​

BPA: Yes you can make changes... BUT (insert reason to stay overweight)​

Does anyone on this board have a problem with people saying an obese person is fat? I'm not talking about pointing fingers in public and mocking them... I'm saying, whether warmly or coldly, just some constructive criticism that you're overweight, and there's significant health problems associated.

Also, does anyone support body positive activists trying influence the youth that "big is beautiful" to supposedly protect their mental health?

I don't know if it's ok or not but I tell my useless POS neighbor he is a stupid, fat, pig faced fuck at least once a week.

Being fat isn't good for your health, I am fat too but I am not stupid nor do I have a face like a pig.

I can lose weight but you can't fix stupid, and you can't fix a face like a pig.

 

[1stNickD]

It's no different than calling someone an alcoholic. A fat person got that way for a reason. Probably food addiction maybe buy them a beer and help them switch addictions if it bothers you.

Personally, I don't care if someone is fat and I am not talking about morbid obesity, just 20 pounds overweight has a belly or something. I don't care. I would hang with a fat person before a drunkard.

But imo the fat persona and drunk are both not dealing with something inside themselves it just manifests differently depending on their choice of addiction.



Both I and My boyfriend have gone up n down in weight over different time frames in our life and I am also an alcoholic but just not drinking.

Most drunks are pretty fun to hang around with, as long as you are drinking along side of them. Nothing sucks worse than being stone cold sober and spending the evening with a drunk. And if she has a tiny beer gut (5-10 lbs) that usually means she can also cook a really good breakfast.

 

[BackAgain]

Is it ok to be rude? I mean out in the real world? Duh. No.

 

[Concerned American]

Is it ok to be rude? I mean out in the real world? Duh. No.

Thats why we do it here.

 

[BackAgain]

Thats why we do it here.

If I insult you here, I’m not exactly causing you pain. You’re a ln unknown faceless person on a message board with a mere username. I am too. (It’s true. My family name isn’t “Again.”)

Just like I can get in the proverbial grille of some member here, they can likewise get in my grille. At the end of the day, my real life isn’t much affected. Really, it’s not affected at all.

BTW, I am not presently aware of any reason to be a dick to you.

 

[Concerned American]

If I insult you here, I’m not exactly causing you pain. You’re a ln unknown faceless person on a message board with a mere username. I am too. (It’s true. My family name isn’t “Again.”)

Just like I can get in the proverbial grille of some member here, they can likewise get in my grille. At the end of the day, my real life isn’t much affected. Really, it’s not affected at all.

BTW, I am not presently aware of any reason to be a dick to you.

Thanks, LOL. Likewise. I was just agreeing with your post.

 

[Jets]

I’m fat.

That is all…