In other news...

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...due to $21 million shortfall in state budget, Colorado citizens are about to ordered to smoke more pot. Mary-Jane use gotta be uplifting and progressive...

 

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... Egypt and UAE secretly carried out airstrikes against Islamists in Libya. While White House claims they knew about it, NY Times report that White House officials were fuming because they were not given prior notice off the strikes. But the most brilliant answer coming from The Chosen One. He knew about attacks which he was given no prior notice and warned those who were making secret plans not to do what He knew they were going to do, even though nobody told Him that they were going to do it. That's some Holly shit!

 

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... Joe Biden said: "We'll follow ISIS to the gates of hell." Great, at least someone come up with a plan and its a copy of six years old John McCain speeches.

 

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... global warming hack Al Gore running his mouth again by saying he wants a "new reality". Since his Arctic ice predictions came out dead wrong, I'll bet he does. He made half a billion by selling his man-bear-pig TV to big oil. Why so greedy, Albert?

 

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... not much of the summer let up in a flood of illegal aliens in US, but Barry is stonewalling about their destination. I guess we'll find out where they are in November.

 

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... hacked iCloud accounts left some celebrities pretty upset. Yeah, hacking and stealing is wrong, but they're only mad because we didn't buy tickets. Nobody gets to see their "goods" for less then ten bucks.

 

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... after barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and ironic Instagram photos from the White House, King Putt vows ISIS will never raise their flag over the eighteenth hole.

 

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... several golf courses turn away His Oliness last week. The blame is clearly upon racist white golfers selfishly protecting their own tee-times.

 

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... president gave a prime time speech. What was it about? Nobody's sure. On the other hand, we met his new national security adviser, magic eight ball.

 

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... ISIS is not Islamic. Smartest man alive had two weeks to prepare the speech and that's what he came up with?

 

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... on the same topic, secretary Kerry said that "we're not necessarily in war with ISIS". How many people exactly they need to behead on camera to qualify for war status?

 

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... the White House strategy from the magic eight ball is based on giving guns and money to Muslims in the Middle East. That strategy worked well in past under name Fast & Furious. Just ask Eric Holder.

 

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... it seems that White House knew about Lois Lerner email shenanigans months before they said they did. Oooh, those emails? You actually mean emails which we previously denied knowing about? Or emails which indicate a potential criminal cover up? You gotta be more specific...

 

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... while pushing for amnesty for illegals, president Barry said that "playing politics with poor dreamers lives is just wrong". But, delaying amnesty for illegal aliens until after the election is just right.

 

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... due to Friday night incident, where undocumented visitor was entering the land where the grass is greener, White House announced they will start locking front door. If they practice what they're preaching, maybe they could do the same with our southern border. However, King Putt will still be able to get out and play golf.

 

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... "We don't give women enough support that they need to be empowered" said Hillary, the potential presidential candidate, and former cabinet secretary, and former senator whose entire career was a gift from her husband.

 

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... despite using tales of sexual harassment to sell her book, Sen Kirsten Gillibrand still won't name her congressional harasser, leading people to wonder which Democrat it was. They have to be drunk or stupid. Or both.

 

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... speaking of formally anti war Democrats and their neo-con buddies, Secretary of State John Kerry wrapped his testimony by winking at Senator John McCain. That's one thing that was missing from the rush to war... it wasn't creepy enough.

 

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... and during that testimony, Senator Kerry was being heckled by shriekers from Code Pink. They're against killing kids, unless it's covered by Obamacare.

 

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... Eric 'Older just purged himself from the office. His boss will make sure that whoever takes his place be worse then him. That's how O's rolls.