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How to Write Like a Liberal (If You Have No Ideas of Your Own)


Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2004
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by Lisa De Pasquale
Posted Oct 06, 2006

In a span of just a few weeks, the publishing world has rolled out three books about HUMAN EVENTS legal affairs correspondent Ann Coulter. Not surprisingly, the books are not complimentary.

Susan Estrich’s Soulless: Ann Coulter and the Right-Wing Church of Hate hits the front table in bookstores on October 10. The cover features Estrich in a similar, but awkward, pose as Coulter on the cover of Godless. The publisher’s description of the book states:

With Soulless, political commentator Susan Estrich takes on Ann and the “Coulter culture” she has created, exposing how the pundit provocatrice has downgraded our political discourse with her irresponsible rhetoric, personal attacks, and slanderous asides. Trawling through Coulter's history of often-violent public statements, Estrich asks which are more cynical: the pundit and her headline-grabbing drive-by character assassinations, or the networks who happily bring her back for more.

How about a third choice? Those who write about popular political figures solely to sell books. Although, to be fair, Estrich also wrote The Case for Hillary Clinton.

Estrich claims, “I have nothing against Ann Coulter personally.” Estrich also had kind words to say about her in the documentary, Is It True What They Say About Ann? One can only imagine what she writes about those she “personally” dislikes.

Another book hitting liberals’ shelves (at least of those who read books) is the equally original title, Brainless: The Lies and Lunacy of Ann Coulter by Joe Maguire, which will also be released on October 10. I heard about this particular book when our intern informed me that her liberal roommate pasted a printout of the cover on their wall simply to annoy her. I suggested to our intern that she counter with a lovely poster from Young America’s Foundation.

The publisher’s description of Brainless states, “Let's face it. You don't ever want to read a book by Ann Coulter. Read this so you don't have to!” As Coulter wrote in her second New York Times bestseller, Slander, “Liberals don’t try to win arguments, they seek to destroy their opponents and silence dissident opinions.”

The third Coulter-obsessed book is I Hate Ann Coulter! Apparently the authors couldn’t think of a "–less" title to use and Schmodless was already taken. The four authors claim that they are remaining anonymous for their own safety. They told the New York Post, “None of us want our real names in the hands of gun-toting, abortion clinic-bombing, self-proclaimed 'wing nuts,' who follow Coulter.”
Given that it’s conservatives who face real physical threats from liberals, I predict the authors’ egos won’t allow them to be silent for very long. However, the genius of their strategy of anonymity keeps intrepid conservative bloggers (the real investigative journalists of our time) from researching the book’s authors using the same insane background checks they employ in their book. According to the book’s description:

I Hate Ann Coulter! is the first step toward ridding ourselves -- as a country -- of Ann Coulter. By examining her life and writings, interviewing high school classmates who remember Ann when she was a chubby brunette (presumably before she sold her soul to be thin, blond, and pure evil), and chronicling her "Black Tuesday" (6/6/06) Today show appearance [and release of Godless], when she stopped pushing the envelope and simply set it on fire, we hope to do our part to put her in her place once and for all.

Liberals’ obsess over Ann Coulter out of pure hate and jealousy. It’s her popularity, not rhetoric, that makes liberals fume. Her success confounds them because they are so out of touch with America. They contradict themselves by saying that she’s a fringe lunatic, and that she only writes what she does because she’s trying to sell books and appeal to the masses. Well, who's buying all those books if she's so out of touch with America? (Note to the masses: don't forget to vote on November 7.)

Liberals frequently accuse conservatives of having suspicious motives because liberals usually have suspicious motives. In Slander Coulter wrote, “A central component of liberal hate speech is to make paranoid accusations based on their own neurotic impulses, such as calling Republicans angry, hate-filled, and mean… There is maybe just the tiniest element of projection and compulsion in all this.”

In the case of the three anti-Coulter books, greed beats hatred. They couldn’t resist using or reenacting photos of her. Despite their desperate attempts to sell books to one another, I predict that the combined sales of Soulless, Brainless and I Hate Ann Coulter! won’t even come close the sales of any one of her five massive bestsellers. When they can’t even come up with original titles and cover art for their books, you know they contain nothing more than the same regurgitated accusations, personal attacks and covetous rants.

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