How many "soul killers" have you had in your life?

[notmyfault2020]

Me?

I'm still counting. I hope you didn't, like me, have one in your childhood and/or adolescence?

Let's see.. trying to come up with a number. Well, at this time, I am counting 5 but I know I am forgetting someone bc these days I forget a lot of stuff..

I define it as: someone who attempts, out of anger or revenge or whatever, to make your life as miserable as possible. And then they make YOU feel like it is your fault they did that to you. You had no right to-------------------[fill in the blanks]. . so you deserve it.

 

[JoeMoma]

I am the soul killer.

 

[notmyfault2020]

I am the soul killer.

then I will be moseying along---------

 

[JoeMoma]

then I will be moseying along---------

Then your soul is safe from me.

 

[notmyfault2020]

Then your soul is safe from me.

now can you make the other soul killers I know.. go away?

pweeeze?

 

[JoeMoma]

now can you make the other soul killers I know.. go away?

pweeeze?

Perhaps if you identify them to me I can kill their souls. I may become a soul serial killer (or perhaps I already am).

 

[notmyfault2020]

Perhaps if you identify them to me I can kill their souls. I may become a soul serial killer (or perhaps I already am).

i didn't ask you to kill anyone, just make them go away.. Kill the sin, save the sinner hoping he will repent..

In any case, since you seem to like killing.. uh.. again.. I will be moseying along..

 

[1srelluc]

When my granddad took his life by suck-starting a 12 ga. shotgun.

I drove-up on a Sunday morning to his farm 'cause dad said he was considering it due to being eat-up with cancer and I knew the rest of the family would be in church.....Like myself he was agnostic at best and never went. I just want to spend some time with him.

As I was passing the tool shed by the garden and I could see him laying there just inside by the door.....Yep, his head was a empty sack and the old Stevens single shot was still in his grasp.

I left him as he was and just draped a burlap sack over his head in case the family came back and went called the Sheriff's dept and my dad.

His place was so out of the way I had to drive up on the main road and wait for them, they brought the ambulance with them which was good. I lifted him up to put him on the gurney and I swear he must not have weighed 80#. He stood 6'-1" 180# or so when healthy.

The Deputy and paramedics did their thing and as they were about to tote him off my Grandmother, a Uncle, and two Aunts arrived from church.....What a fuckin' shit show that was....After that exhibit I never had much use for any of them.

Dad got there shortly after the theatrics were over and after I filled him in he told me to clean the shed out 'cause he was going to tear it down the next day.

Whilst moving stuff out I looked out the shed's window and on the window sill was my granddad's brain....It was just sitting there mostly intact and below it on the floor most of the top of his skull so I took a shovel and dug a hole and put then in that and covered it up.....I never told anyone about it but my dad.

That about did it for me for giving much of a shit when someone dies.....I feel much more emotion when I have to put a family dog down.

 

[notmyfault2020]

When my granddad took his life by suck-starting a 12 ga. shotgun.

I drove-up on a Sunday morning to his farm 'cause dad said he was considering it due to being eat-up with cancer and I knew the rest of the family would be in church.....Like myself he was agnostic at best and never went. I just want to spend some time with him.

As I was passing the tool shed by the garden and I could see him laying there just inside by the door.....Yep, his head was a empty sack and the old Stevens single shot was still in his grasp.

I left him as he was and just draped a burlap sack over his head in case the family came back and went called the Sheriff's dept and my dad.

His place was so out of the way I had to drive up on the main road and wait for them, they brought the ambulance with them which was good. I lifted him up to put him on the gurney and I swear he must not have weighed 80#. He stood 6'-1" 180# or so when healthy.

The Deputy and paramedics did their thing and as they were about to tote him off my Grandmother, a Uncle, and two Aunts arrived from church.....What a fuckin' shit show that was....After that exhibit I never had much use for any of them.

Dad got there shortly after the theatrics were over and after I filled him in he told me to clean the shed out 'cause he was going to tear it down the next day.

Whilst moving stuff out I looked out the shed's window and on the window sill was my granddad's brain....It was just sitting there mostly intact and below it on the floor most of the top of his skull so I took a shovel and dug a hole and put then in that and covered it up.....I never told anyone about it but my dad.

That about did it for me for giving much of a shit when someone dies.....I feel much more emotion when I have to put a family dog down.

I am very sorry. . brings tears to my eyes

I don't know what else to say---

 

[notmyfault2020]

I was talking about people who try to destroy such things as

your self worth

your inherent dignity

This one person I used to know.. As soon as I found Jesus in a big way began just picking on me...

That tells you all you need to know about that particular soul killer.. and it is worse than those words convey because there were tangible consequences ..

 

[1srelluc]

I am very sorry. . brings tears to my eyes

I don't know what else to say---

I really don't blame him, they gutted him like a fish once before in the early 60s and he swore he would never go through it again.....He didn't.

Funny thing, I can't really recall what he looked like in death and only remember our adventures squirrel hunting and working around the farm.

He did not deer hunt but he was with me when I killed my first deer when I was 12.....That's what I remember.

 

[notmyfault2020]

I really don't blame him, they gutted him like a fish once before in the early 60s and he swore he would never go through it again.....He didn't.

Funny thing, I can't really recall what he looked like in death and only remember our adventures squirrel hunting and working around the farm.

He did not deer hunt but he was with me when I killed my first deer when I was 12.....That's what I remember.

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Thanks for sharing. Because of the photo, we now more fully realize he was .. well, how do I say it?

The photo makes him a real person in our minds, more so than b4.. Just hearing about someone leaving this world does not often tell us much.. but as they say, a picture is worth 1000 words..

He looks like a good person. I know looks aren't everything, but.. just saying what i spontaneously think

Maybe he really was in "too much" pain. I myself don't believe in ending it all but I have felt like it b4 and I think everyone (over the age of.. say, 30) has.