'I Am Your Father,' Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill

[Votto]

'I Am Your Father,' Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill​

Celebs·May 8, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in front of the White House this week to deliver a life-changing message to actor Mark Hamill, revealing that he was, in reality, the actor's father.

The actor was reportedly reluctant to accept the invitation to appear at the press conference but sensed something deep within himself that made him feel compelled to be present.

"Search your feelings, Mark, you know it to be true," Trump said while extending his hand toward Hamill. "George Lucas never told you what happened to your father."

Hamill recoiled in fear, somehow knowing what was next. "He told me enough," he said. "He told me you're basically Hitler and that you're destroying democracy. We have to stop you."

"No. I am your father, Trump explained.

"No... no... that's not true," Hamill sobbed. "That's impossible!"

"It's true. It's a beautiful thing, maybe the best fatherhood in the history of families. Many people are saying it," Trump answered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!" the actor then shouted as members of the media looked on.

"This is a great opportunity, Mark," Trump continued as he adjusted his red power tie. "You can destroy the Left. The Democrats have foreseen this. Join me, and together we can make America great again as father and son."

Hamill was later seen fleeing the press conference and was unavailable for comment.

At publishing time, Trump also announced that he had ordered the United States military to destroy all copies of any Star Wars movies made after Return of the Jedi, a move that skyrocketed his popularity with Republicans and Democrats alike.

 

[ChristisKing]

Did anybody else hear Trump's voice in their head while reading this?

 

[Yarddog]

could you imagine what a box office draw that would be, in that version of a StarWars episode?
It might be one of the highest earning box office take in history.
Trump should totally do it after his presidency... and it would also make Hammil relevant again.

 

[Moonglow]

'I Am Your Father,' Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill​

Celebs·May 8, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1254524

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in front of the White House this week to deliver a life-changing message to actor Mark Hamill, revealing that he was, in reality, the actor's father.

The actor was reportedly reluctant to accept the invitation to appear at the press conference but sensed something deep within himself that made him feel compelled to be present.

"Search your feelings, Mark, you know it to be true," Trump said while extending his hand toward Hamill. "George Lucas never told you what happened to your father."

Hamill recoiled in fear, somehow knowing what was next. "He told me enough," he said. "He told me you're basically Hitler and that you're destroying democracy. We have to stop you."

"No. I am your father, Trump explained.

"No... no... that's not true," Hamill sobbed. "That's impossible!"

"It's true. It's a beautiful thing, maybe the best fatherhood in the history of families. Many people are saying it," Trump answered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!" the actor then shouted as members of the media looked on.

"This is a great opportunity, Mark," Trump continued as he adjusted his red power tie. "You can destroy the Left. The Democrats have foreseen this. Join me, and together we can make America great again as father and son."

Hamill was later seen fleeing the press conference and was unavailable for comment.

At publishing time, Trump also announced that he had ordered the United States military to destroy all copies of any Star Wars movies made after Return of the Jedi, a move that skyrocketed his popularity with Republicans and Democrats alike.

Lame.

 

[Moonglow]

could you imagine what a box office draw that would be, in that version of a StarWars episode?
It might be one of the highest earning box office take in history.
Trump should totally do it after his presidency... and it would also make Hammil relevant again.

Hammil has been doing voice character acting for forty years and broadway. Ever hear of a play called Amadaus?

 

[Votto]

could you imagine what a box office draw that would be, in that version of a StarWars episode?
It might be one of the highest earning box office take in history.
Trump should totally do it after his presidency... and it would also make Hammil relevant again.

Although possibly the most hilarious film recorded in human history, the Left would never make the film.

Their TDS would not allow it.

 

[Correll]

'I Am Your Father,' Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill​

Celebs·May 8, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1254524

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in front of the White House this week to deliver a life-changing message to actor Mark Hamill, revealing that he was, in reality, the actor's father.

The actor was reportedly reluctant to accept the invitation to appear at the press conference but sensed something deep within himself that made him feel compelled to be present.

"Search your feelings, Mark, you know it to be true," Trump said while extending his hand toward Hamill. "George Lucas never told you what happened to your father."

Hamill recoiled in fear, somehow knowing what was next. "He told me enough," he said. "He told me you're basically Hitler and that you're destroying democracy. We have to stop you."

"No. I am your father, Trump explained.

"No... no... that's not true," Hamill sobbed. "That's impossible!"

"It's true. It's a beautiful thing, maybe the best fatherhood in the history of families. Many people are saying it," Trump answered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!" the actor then shouted as members of the media looked on.

"This is a great opportunity, Mark," Trump continued as he adjusted his red power tie. "You can destroy the Left. The Democrats have foreseen this. Join me, and together we can make America great again as father and son."

Hamill was later seen fleeing the press conference and was unavailable for comment.

At publishing time, Trump also announced that he had ordered the United States military to destroy all copies of any Star Wars movies made after Return of the Jedi, a move that skyrocketed his popularity with Republicans and Democrats alike.

That explains a lot. That explains everything. That explains more than any explanation has EVER explained.

 

[Votto]

That explains a lot. That explains everything. That explains more than any explanation has EVER explained.

What would be awesome is a fight scene where Trump and Mark were going at it with light sabers, and Mark strikes off part of Trump's toupee as he looks in a mirror in horror that the slice of toupee he cut off had been transplanted to his own head, just like they did with the scene between Luke and Vader with the hand.

You could then have JT Vance come out from behind the shadows as the emperor saying "Good., good, let your hate consume you. Strike him down and take your rightful place by my side!!!"

Hilarious!

 

[Yarddog]

What would be awesome is a fight scene where Trump and Mark were going at it with light sabers, and Mark strikes off part of Trump's toupee as he looks in a mirror in horror that the slice of toupee he cut off had been transplanted to his own head, just like they did with the scene between Luke and Vader with the hand.

You could then have JT Vance come out from behind the shadows as the emperor saying "Good., good, let your hate consume you. Strike him down and take your rightful place by my side!!!"

Hilarious!

And Elon Musk pops into the scene as a rogue Jedi.

 

[ChristisKing]

That explains a lot. That explains everything. That explains more than any explanation has EVER explained.

Best political satire that I've ever seen.