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Supposed to be a joke thread. Your personal whines are no joke to anybody.The Company just said they were putting $24 billion into securing my pension plan for the next 5 years. I asked what about me? No raise in the future, high prices, unending health insurance bills? Who's gonna put on the new Roof?
Wah, wah, wah. I have no company retirement plan. Like many other business owners and independent contractors,Chem sometimes I have a lil bit of dry humor, maybe just move on to the next joke. Its like a Lil Johnny joke. How many are actually funny! The joke about retirements is pretty much a thing for most all insist is a joke.
The invisible man finally met an invisible woman and they got married, now they even have kids but they're not much to look at.A blonde and a redhead meet in a bar after work for a drink, and are watching the 6 O'clock news. A man is threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bets the redhead $50 that he won't jump, and the redhead replies, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, he jumps, so the blonde gives the redhead the $50. The redhead says "I can't take this, you're my friend."
The blonde answers, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead says, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money".
Well the Blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't believe he'd jump again!"
On a billboard in front of a Veterinary Clinic. " Free belly rubs with exam. Sorry, pets only. "Lil Johnny's out walking and he meets a dirty and shabby-looking homeless man
who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
Lil Johnny checks his Wallet, extracts ten dollars and asks,
"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replies.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Lil Johnny then asks him.
"No, I don't gamble," the poor man said.
"I need everything I can beg just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Lil Johnny says.
"Are you NUTS!" replies the filthy man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a loose woman instead of food?" Lil Johnnys then asks him .
"I can get a great disease for ten lousy bucks?" exclaims the Derelict!
"Well," says Lil Johnny, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The Panhandler is amazed. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing this?
I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting, Lil Johnny !"
"That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like
after he has given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex."