Hell exists -- I lived there for fourteen years

[beautress]

I used my mother's notebook to write a Christmas play. My mother said I shouldn't have used her notebook and burned my play in the fireplace.

I used clay to make a scale model of every planet in the solar system. I strung it up on a string in my room. My mother yanked the string down.

I was into Ronald Reagan so I drew up a list of every state and how many delegates voted for Reagan and how many voted for Ford. When the convention was over I taped it to my wall. My mother ripped it in half and tore it down.

My father and mother would have arguments late at night. My mother would scream at the top of her lungs. Then, to hurt my father's feelings, she would come in my room and hit me.

I have to conclude that even if my mother didn't go to hell for killing herself she went to hell for all the hurtful shit she did to me.

My mother is still hurting me even though I'm now 54 years old. I can't put to one side all the shit she did to me, and I am still angry at my father for letting her do it to me.

Also, I'm angry at God. Almost all the bad things that have happened to me is because my personality is defective due to the shitty things my mother did to me. I've prayed and prayed and God kept allowing these bad things to happen. I got so angry I stopped going to Mass. I was a bad example for my children and now they don't go to Mass either.

Despite what my mother did to me, I'm the one who paid for her grave so that she could have a nice memorial plaque. Had I not done that, she'd be in an unmarked grave forever.

Dear Blackrook,

Your mother was mentally ill, and her illness sounds like her body's chemistry was way out of balance. When you forgive her, your guilt will vanish, and you will know her taking of her own life was out of the confusion and hurt that chemical imbalances cause. It took me almost a lifetime to forgive a parent who used his children as his punching bag. I kept praying that God would help me forgive him, and eventually, my prayer was answered. I'm free from the burden of hating a parent who meant good, but wound up hitting his own children and spilling our blood when he fisted us in the face. He was diagnosed as mentally ill, and spent time in a hospital when I was 8 or 9 years old. I actually missed him when he was gone, but his problems didn't go away. It was shell shock from World War II and the Korean War, I'm pretty sure. We all paid a price for what he went through in a prisoner of war camp in WWII. His beatings were not those of a rational person, and they did not coincide with any recent wrongdoing, It was just being a little child being abused by a person who was acting out his hate transferred to his own children, and it made me angry, too, for most of my life. I was about 62 or 63 when I finally forgave him. He had a good side too, its' just that children only remember bad stuff, for which they overcompensate by living carefully and never hurting anybody else on purpose. I'm grateful God was patient with me for asking him to help me respect my parents. I'm no longer worried because I feel God helped me to forgive him because I asked him to. And I've had a joyful life ever since for the most part. I hope you come to peace with your mother's terrible bout with mental problems. Prayers up for healing to your heart, which is definitely broken with disappointment and bad memories that stemmed from the way she solved her problems by checking out. I am praying that you will overcome the anger and pain and will live to feel the letting go of hostilities and place love in its place, which will bring you a lot of relief. You can do that. I know you can.

 

[Persistence Of Memory]

WTF are you talking about?

All the parents in town belong to a brotherhood or sisters sorority or something like that, they will not pay kids more than a pittance of a wage no matter what. Children of "people of the district" in the U.S. have to be 30 or 40 before they are allowed to leave their parents house. It's a Communist Party gun-banning cult that requires an adult appreciation of sex, drugs and alcohol as an absolute bar to being allowed to live independently.

Were you chained to the radiator in your basement for your first 20 yrs? What kind of town do you live in? Do they have one of those things you put your head and arms in at the town square for public humiliation?

 

[harmonica]

My mother hit me and broke my things, then I'd go to school and the bullies made my life miserable.

You think God wouldn't send anyone to hell?

Think again.

I was a kid who'd done nothing wrong and God allowed me to live in hell for fourteen years.

so---you did nothing wrong and sent you to hell = extremely nonsensical = proof of NO god

 

[harmonica]

..that's not hell--that's life

 

[hobelim]

Also, I'm angry at God. Almost all the bad things that have happened to me is because my personality is defective due to the shitty things my mother did to me. I've prayed and prayed and God kept allowing these bad things to happen. I got so angry I stopped going to Mass. I was a bad example for my children and now they don't go to Mass either.

If you were going to mass and celebrating the death of Jesus and worshipping and eating a trinity on your knees in the form of a handy snack food, no wonder God did nothing.

If you planted a handful of seeds and only one germinated and started to grow, which of the seeds would you care for? The one that is living and growing above the dust of the earth. Right?

In the same way God , the God of the living, does nothing for the dead. He focuses on the living even if there is only one.

Not going to mass is a good start. What species of creature in all of creation would ritually and brazenly celebrate the death of Jesus and defy the law of God anyway? Think! You can do it!

Do not doubt the power of God to heal you of every wound that you ever suffered during childhood and since.

Remember what Jesus said, " blessed are the pure of mind for they shall see God."

The thoughts in your mind that are causing you despair are not of God. You must extirpate such thoughts from your mind like anyone would uproot the weeds in their garden so that the good seed can grow and bear fruit that is pleasing to the eye and good to eat.



You want God to heal you? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone has a story.

Till the soil which is your mind... No one can do it for you.

 

[ding]

Also, I'm angry at God. Almost all the bad things that have happened to me is because my personality is defective due to the shitty things my mother did to me. I've prayed and prayed and God kept allowing these bad things to happen. I got so angry I stopped going to Mass. I was a bad example for my children and now they don't go to Mass either.

If you were going to mass and celebrating the death of Jesus and worshipping and eating a trinity on your knees in the form of a handy snack food, no wonder God did nothing.

If you planted a handful of seeds and only one germinated and started to grow, which of the seeds would you care for? The one that is living and growing above the dust of the earth. Right?

In the same way God , the God of the living, does nothing for the dead. He focuses on the living even if there is only one.

Not going to mass is a good start. What species of creature in all of creation would ritually and brazenly celebrate the death of Jesus and defy the law of God anyway? Think! You can do it!

Do not doubt the power of God to heal you of every wound that you ever suffered during childhood and since.

Remember what Jesus said, " blessed are the pure of mind for they shall see God."

The thoughts in your mind that are causing you despair are not of God. You must extirpate such thoughts from your mind like anyone would uproot the weeds in their garden so that the good seed can grow and bear fruit that is pleasing to the eye and good to eat.



You want God to heal you? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone has a story.

Till the soil which is your mind... No one can do it for you.

Mass is the celebration of the last supper, hobelim.

It is because you don't have enough faith that God loved man so much that he chose to be born into this world to testify to the truth and to suffer death to reconcile justice with mercy that you don't believe it is possible that God can manifest his spirit into the host for no other reason than we have faith that he will if we ask.

So God will never manifest his spirit into the host for you. So what you are describing is what it would be like for you, not me or anyone else who has faith in God.

 

[ding]

Also, I'm angry at God. Almost all the bad things that have happened to me is because my personality is defective due to the shitty things my mother did to me. I've prayed and prayed and God kept allowing these bad things to happen. I got so angry I stopped going to Mass. I was a bad example for my children and now they don't go to Mass either.

If you were going to mass and celebrating the death of Jesus and worshipping and eating a trinity on your knees in the form of a handy snack food, no wonder God did nothing.

If you planted a handful of seeds and only one germinated and started to grow, which of the seeds would you care for? The one that is living and growing above the dust of the earth. Right?

In the same way God , the God of the living, does nothing for the dead. He focuses on the living even if there is only one.

Not going to mass is a good start. What species of creature in all of creation would ritually and brazenly celebrate the death of Jesus and defy the law of God anyway? Think! You can do it!

Do not doubt the power of God to heal you of every wound that you ever suffered during childhood and since.

Remember what Jesus said, " blessed are the pure of mind for they shall see God."

The thoughts in your mind that are causing you despair are not of God. You must extirpate such thoughts from your mind like anyone would uproot the weeds in their garden so that the good seed can grow and bear fruit that is pleasing to the eye and good to eat.



You want God to heal you? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone has a story.

Till the soil which is your mind... No one can do it for you.

How many socks are you running here?

 

[Crepitus]

My mother hit me and broke my things, then I'd go to school and the bullies made my life miserable.

You think God wouldn't send anyone to hell?

Think again.

I was a kid who'd done nothing wrong and God allowed me to live in hell for fourteen years.

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

 

[ding]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

 

[Crepitus]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

 

[ding]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

If you don't know what it should be then how can you know what it shouldn't be?

So in your world everything would be perfect? Is that correct?

 

[ding]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

Or are you saying that you would be actively involved in punishing all transgressions real time and everyone would know your presence? You know, sort of like a dictator?

 

[ding]

I think the problem with some people is that they don't actually think things through. They don't even make an attempt to do it. And when challenged, rather than actually stopping to think it through they either run away or start making silly rationalizations.

 

[Crepitus]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

If you don't know what it should be then how can you know what it shouldn't be?

So in your world everything would be perfect? Is that correct?

Do you not know that beating children is wrong?

'Cause most folks know that.

 

[Crepitus]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

Or are you saying that you would be actively involved in punishing all transgressions real time and everyone would know your presence? You know, sort of like a dictator?

Isn't the Christian god supposed to be both omniscient and omnipotent?

Let's get back to the beating kids thing, I wonder why you don't know that's a bad thing to do.

 

[ding]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

If you don't know what it should be then how can you know what it shouldn't be?

So in your world everything would be perfect? Is that correct?

Do you not know that beating children is wrong?

'Cause most folks know that.

Well according to you there is no such thing as an absolute right and wrong. That right and wrong are nothing more than social conventions that can change with the time, right?

But yes, I do believe in absolute morals and do believe it is wrong, but the question still remains, are you saying that if you were God you would intervene to correct every wrong? And if so, how would you do it?

 

[ding]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

Or are you saying that you would be actively involved in punishing all transgressions real time and everyone would know your presence? You know, sort of like a dictator?

Isn't the Christian god supposed to be both omniscient and omnipotent?

Let's get back to the beating kids thing, I wonder why you don't know that's a bad thing to do.

Yes, and because he is he has perfect knowledge and understands how everything works for good. You don't.

So, I am a little curious here, is it your belief he is our servant? Are you expecting him to do magic for you like a show pony?

 

[fncceo]

Talk about bad childhoods ...

 

[Crepitus]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

If you don't know what it should be then how can you know what it shouldn't be?

So in your world everything would be perfect? Is that correct?

Do you not know that beating children is wrong?

'Cause most folks know that.

Well according to you there is no such thing as an absolute right and wrong. That right and wrong are nothing more than social conventions that can change with the time, right?

But yes, I do believe in absolute morals and do believe it is wrong, but the question still remains, are you saying that if you were God you would intervene to correct every wrong? And if so, how would you do it?

According to me what?

Don't be stupider than you have to be, Son. And don't out words I didn't say in my mouth either.

 

[Crepitus]

Any god worth your worship wouldn't allow things like that to happen.

Interesting.

So if you were God, what would your creation look like?

Don't know, but beating children would result in an automatic smiting.

Or are you saying that you would be actively involved in punishing all transgressions real time and everyone would know your presence? You know, sort of like a dictator?

Isn't the Christian god supposed to be both omniscient and omnipotent?

Let's get back to the beating kids thing, I wonder why you don't know that's a bad thing to do.

Yes, and because he is he has perfect knowledge and understands how everything works for good. You don't.

So, I am a little curious here, is it your belief he is our servant? Are you expecting him to do magic for you like a show pony?

Why don't you understand that beating children is wrong?