Happily Married?

[Big Black Dog]

My wife says that I am happy and that's all I need to know. She is in charge of happiness at our house. I am in charge of taking out the garbage and keeping the yard in order. If the wife isn't happy, nobody's happy. Seems like it has always been that way here.

 

[syrenn]

The trick is knowing when to swallow your pride and when to nip it in the bud.

Its about learning how to breathe. It is not about pride, it is about controlling your self and not letting emotions run your mouth off.

People say ugly, hurtful and detrimentally harmful things when angry or sad or upset.


My husband an I have never had an agrument. We have never raised our voices to each other. We have never hurled insults or taken out bad days on each other.

Never?? And you've been married a long time?? How often do you interact with each other??

I don't think arguing is a bad thing at all, and couples develop a certain sort of trust knowing that the other person still loves and accepts them even when they reveal their imperfections. The key is not to abuse the willingness to forgive by making it a habit.

We have been together 31 years, married 25. Up until 12 years ago we had never been apart more then 12 hours at a time.

And we NEVER argue, fight , or raise our voices to each other. We discuss issues but do not fight or argue. There is no sniping or dirty looks. There is no passive aggressive behavior.

 

[goldcatt]

Many of the USMB-ers seem to be in happy marriages. This sorta fascinates me...I know plenty of people in long marriages, but few that seem happy. I had kinda sorta concluded that a happy marriage was akin to winning the lottery...it might nearly guarantee happiness, but the chances are very low it'll happen to you.

So if you count yourself among the fortunate few, tell us, how'd you get so lucky?

Me, I'm happily divorced. The only secret to happiness I gleaned was this: if a man (or woman) tells you they are a wretched asshole, do yourself a favor and believe them.

Something I've learned is that anybody who describes himself as an asshole is probably amazingly self-aware. And if that happens to run for the hills as fast and far as possible.

 

[strollingbones]

two words: low expectations....lol...

i have been married nearly 30 yrs to the same person...we both know that at the end of the road, we will be with each other. simple as that.

 

[JakeStarkey]

two words: low expectations....lol...

i have been married nearly 30 yrs to the same person...we both know that at the end of the road, we will be with each other. simple as that.

Yeah, I understand that. Being together is the way it is until the long carriage ride begins with Emily as tour director of the hereafter.

Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part Four: Time and Eternity

XXVII

BECAUSE I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste, 5
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played
At wrestling in a ring; 10
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible, 15
The cornice but a mound.

Since then ’tis centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses’ heads
Were toward eternity.

 

[syrenn]

two words: low expectations....lol...

i have been married nearly 30 yrs to the same person...we both know that at the end of the road, we will be with each other. simple as that.

LOL I am the opposite. I have high expectations, a high bar. However it goes both ways. We both give as much as we both expect.

I do not settle for the least someone is able to do or give in a relationship. I demand the very best of partner.

I agree about the end of the road. I want to know that we can go to hell and back (and we have) and the external environment will not change what we have.