You want the government, the biggest gang with the biggest guns, to make all the decisions. How is that not might makes right?
If the people accept the code that sex and marriage should coincide than a feud is not necessary. Many such societies have existed.
Countries that don’t value marriage and children are taken over by societies that do. Haven’t you noticed? Consider the demographics of Europe and the US.
The Government can arrest. And charge you with a crime. Your guilt will be determined by a jury of the citizens of the county.
The government doesn’t decide what is right and wrong. The government makes the accusation. The citizens decide.
The problem doesn’t come from sex and or marriage. It comes from self importance. The idea that I know more about how you should live.
This case. The one you say shouldn’t escalate to criminal. The Father assaulted not only his own daughter. A 17 year old girl. But her apparent boyfriend. A 17 year old boy.
This assault included the firing of a gunshot. I don’t know if Daddy is a terrible shot or if he intended to miss. Either way this is a serious situation.
Now. If we don’t escalate such situations to the criminal. We are left with the feud. Revenge. Vengeance. And your ideas of social proprietary regarding sex and marriage become irrelevant. Every minor situation escalates into a John Wick you killed my dog Murder spree.
Without the legal option. The family of the boy who was assaulted has a few realistic choices. They can do nothing and mark themselves as victims. They will be assaulted regularly. They can beat the Father within an inch of his life. The old eye for an eye argument. Or they can just kill the Father. Do to him what he may have been trying to do to the boyfriend.
I mean. This is every corny old western ever written. Each action demands a response. The response becomes the action the other party uses to demand a response.
However. With the law. We can manage such incidents without bloodshed for weeks or months.
The Father can have his actions judged by a jury. He can make his case. Explain his actions. I don’t think he has much of a leg to stand on. But he can try. Nobody else has to suffer.
Your argument that social norms should manage interactions has a major flaw here. The Father must accept his daughter will love someone. And he must learn to accept her choices.
And this reality has been known for generations.
When a situation escalates to violence. You have two choices. The law or the feud. There is no third choice.