Friends, Foes, and Acquaintances

[Ernie S.]

A friend will bail you out of jail. A FRIEND will be sharing your cell.

.
So Ernie, I, like, have this problem. How paid up is the mortgage on your house?

Your friend, Percy...

.

I paid cash for my house. Or more properly, I paid with a wire transfer from the lobby of my bank in Deerfield Beach. I went home, finished loading the truck and drove the 600 miles from my previous home to my new home in Foley. The deed was in my mailbox when I got here.

 

[percysunshine]

A friend will bail you out of jail. A FRIEND will be sharing your cell.

.
So Ernie, I, like, have this problem. How paid up is the mortgage on your house?

Your friend, Percy...

.

I paid cash for my house. Or more properly, I paid with a wire transfer from the lobby of my bank in Deerfield Beach. I went home, finished loading the truck and drove the 600 miles from my previous home to my new home in Foley. The deed was in my mailbox when I got here.

.
Great! So you can post bail for me. It was all a misunderstanding...I am innocent, probably.

Your friend, Percy.

.

 

[Gracie]

Mr Gracie and I will go live with Ernie when we get so decrepit we can't take care of each other. We will just show up at his door and ask where to put our toothbrushes.

 

[Ernie S.]

Mr Gracie and I will go live with Ernie when we get so decrepit we can't take care of each other. We will just show up at his door and ask where to put our toothbrushes.

As long as my current project has finally left the nest... This one will not be back. The deal was he paid his own way, fed himself and paid me $50/week rent. He's been here since mid November and has spent about 1/2 hour working around here, has consumed a grand in food, has upped my utility bills by $100/month and smokes half of my cigarettes. He was pretty dependable at coming to the bar with me and helping open up. It takes about 30 minutes but lately, he's been staying to closing time and getting in about 5 AM. By 12:45 when I leave, he is in no shape half the time to roll out.
He drinks 6 or 8 cups of coffee for free, (we get $2.50) and a couple beers on a good day but can ring up a $75 bar tab on a bad one. It all gets comped.

Shannon is my 6th "project" since we moved here and so far, the only one I regret.

So, yes, Gracie. I'd love to have you as long as you play by the rules.

 

[Gracie]

Mr Gracie and I will go live with Ernie when we get so decrepit we can't take care of each other. We will just show up at his door and ask where to put our toothbrushes.

As long as my current project has finally left the nest... This one will not be back. The deal was he paid his own way, fed himself and paid me $50/week rent. He's been here since mid November and has spent about 1/2 hour working around here, has consumed a grand in food, has upped my utility bills by $100/month and smokes half of my cigarettes. He was pretty dependable at coming to the bar with me and helping open up. It takes about 30 minutes but lately, he's been staying to closing time and getting in about 5 AM. By 12:45 when I leave, he is in no shape half the time to roll out.
He drinks 6 or 8 cups of coffee for free, (we get $2.50) and a couple beers on a good day but can ring up a $75 bar tab on a bad one. It all gets comped.

Shannon is my 6th "project" since we moved here and so far, the only one I regret.

So, yes, Gracie. I'd love to have you as long as you play by the rules.

I guess I missed the story of this guy and a project. I was just goofin', Ernie. But if it ever did come to what I was teasing you about...Mr Gracie and I will be getting in touch maybe.

 

[Ernie S.]

You'd like the rain for sure.

 

[Gracie]

You would be right about that. Love rain. Especially if it's warm enough to stand out in it.
Still raining here. Supposed to clear up tomorrow. I love rain but after a few days my joints want sun.

 

[Ernie S.]

I hear ya. I'm not getting any younger either. The thing is, while we get a lot of rain, we get a lot of sunny days too.
With lots of rain and lots of sun, we do get lots of humidity in the summer and we'll have a few 100+ degree days, but we do get flowers blooming from late February through mid to late November, no snow and the ground will never freeze other than an inch deep that's thawed by noon.
The Gulf never gets below 55 degrees and will get to 85 in August.

 

[Foxfyre]

Looking for a link I have misplaced somewhere, I ran across this old thread and wondered if there might be any further interest.

I would like to ask Annie, for instance, just out of nosy curiosity, what is required to become a 'friend'. I wonder what criteria any of you use for who among those you 'meet' on line are safe to meet in real life?

A number of folks I used to enjoy interacting with here left USMB because they were so frustrated by or displeased with the new software. And I will confess to feeling unimportant, maybe even a little rejected, when that happens. I guess we all want to think we are as important to other people as they are to us. But then how loyal would I be to all of you to put up with a situation that was miserable for me here? I don't know and so far haven't had to find out.

I do know that we often forget stuff people say. But we never forget how somebody makes us feel. And we all need at least a bit of approval in our lives. It increases us, inspires us, helps us cope with what we have to do, while hatefulness, petty criticism, negativity will always decrease us and provokes less than our best.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

To me, if a person cares about you enough, they will put you first before themselves no matter what your relationship with them is.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Moonglow]

A friend will bail you out of jail. A FRIEND will be sharing your cell.

.
So Ernie, I, like, have this problem. How paid up is the mortgage on your house?

Your friend, Percy...

.

I paid cash for my house. Or more properly, I paid with a wire transfer from the lobby of my bank in Deerfield Beach. I went home, finished loading the truck and drove the 600 miles from my previous home to my new home in Foley. The deed was in my mailbox when I got here.

Did you at least tell the county you moved in?

 

[Bonzi]

A friend is someone who actually likes you and enjoys being around you.
I haven't found one yet. I'm 51.

 

[Foxfyre]

A friend is someone who actually likes you and enjoys being around you.
I haven't found one yet. I'm 51.

I suspect there are one or two folks in there somewhere who sought out your company because they liked you and enjoyed your company. But a friend seeks you out when you aren't that likable and not that pleasant to be around if the friend senses you need that friend. And sometimes a friend also knows that you just need to be alone for awhile.

 

[Bonzi]

A friend is someone who actually likes you and enjoys being around you.
I haven't found one yet. I'm 51.

I suspect there are one or two folks in there somewhere who sought out your company because they liked you and enjoyed your company. But a friend seeks you out when you aren't that likable and not that pleasant to be around if the friend senses you need that friend. And sometimes a friend also knows that you just need to be alone for awhile.

Mostly men. But that can't be trusted being a woman. I think maybe here recently there have been one or 2 women in church that seem to enjoy being around me. But that goes both ways. I'm afraid that I'm probably the one guilty of not being a good friend, cause I can't find anyone I really enjoy.... or that I feel comfortable around.

 

[Foxfyre]

A friend is someone who actually likes you and enjoys being around you.
I haven't found one yet. I'm 51.

I suspect there are one or two folks in there somewhere who sought out your company because they liked you and enjoyed your company. But a friend seeks you out when you aren't that likable and not that pleasant to be around if the friend senses you need that friend. And sometimes a friend also knows that you just need to be alone for awhile.

Mostly men. But that can't be trusted being a woman. I think maybe here recently there have been one or 2 women in church that seem to enjoy being around me. But that goes both ways. I'm afraid that I'm probably the one guilty of not being a good friend, cause I can't find anyone I really enjoy.... or that I feel comfortable around.

Well some people definitely social butterflies and some are just better suited as loners. But if one is unhappy as a loner, there are ways to change that.

 

[Bonzi]

A friend is someone who actually likes you and enjoys being around you.
I haven't found one yet. I'm 51.

I suspect there are one or two folks in there somewhere who sought out your company because they liked you and enjoyed your company. But a friend seeks you out when you aren't that likable and not that pleasant to be around if the friend senses you need that friend. And sometimes a friend also knows that you just need to be alone for awhile.

Mostly men. But that can't be trusted being a woman. I think maybe here recently there have been one or 2 women in church that seem to enjoy being around me. But that goes both ways. I'm afraid that I'm probably the one guilty of not being a good friend, cause I can't find anyone I really enjoy.... or that I feel comfortable around.

Well some people definitely social butterflies and some are just better suited as loners. But if one is unhappy as a loner, there are ways to change that.

I'm good with it. Husband, no so much, but, am willing to compromise. I mean, I wish I had friends that I felt like I could be myself around, but, when you are a woman that doesn't like to shop, have her nails done, not much of a cook etc. it's hard to find common ground. At least in a Christian/Church setting. And, any women that is like me is pretty wild and radical (which I'm not anymore) - so... I appreciate your kinds words

 

[Annie]

Looking for a link I have misplaced somewhere, I ran across this old thread and wondered if there might be any further interest.

I would like to ask Annie, for instance, just out of nosy curiosity, what is required to become a 'friend'. I wonder what criteria any of you use for who among those you 'meet' on line are safe to meet in real life?

A number of folks I used to enjoy interacting with here left USMB because they were so frustrated by or displeased with the new software. And I will confess to feeling unimportant, maybe even a little rejected, when that happens. I guess we all want to think we are as important to other people as they are to us. But then how loyal would I be to all of you to put up with a situation that was miserable for me here? I don't know and so far haven't had to find out.

I do know that we often forget stuff people say. But we never forget how somebody makes us feel. And we all need at least a bit of approval in our lives. It increases us, inspires us, helps us cope with what we have to do, while hatefulness, petty criticism, negativity will always decrease us and provokes less than our best.

Hello FF! I've found that I don't have 'friends' here, I'm just not invested enough. I don't particularly care for how threads devolve here, so I tend to look for topics I'm interested in, read a page or two, respond if I want. Then I tend to leave. Not conducive to much interactions with others. Very different than it used to be.

I have 'friends' at other sites, mostly from the 'old gang' here. We've been virtual friends long enough that they know some of the things that have happened in real life and I know their's. We may or may not share political views, but know about deaths, divorces, successes, new homes, new babies, etc.

I don't look for that type of interactions here, for the most part those on the right and left just want to 'win' something and I don't find much common decency between posters.

Not sure if that's what you were asking, but that's how I read it.

 

[Bonzi]

I'm here for the party.

If it's fun/interesting I stay, if not, I'm gone.

People are going to let you down. We're not perfect, so, if I find people I enjoy chatting with here, great. Would I consider that friendship? Depends. I guess we all have to make our own definition of what a friend is, but, ultimately, if they are putting you down or doing anything to make you feel badly intentionally, I would say they are not a friend.

 

[AquaAthena]

Actually what prompted this thread was somebody asking my counsel earlier today re how to handle a situation when somebody they really counted as a good friend no longer appears to be. And shortly on the heels of that conversation, in a completely unrelated discussion, I was hearing the story of somebody who felt like not only had their friend turned on her, but was actively trying to get others to turn on her too.

And I realized I not only understood, but could empathize with both based on my own experience over the years.

Probably we've all been rejected by somebody we wanted to be friends with. And we've probably all been falsely accused or seriously misunderstood at some point. And we've probably all had to deal with a back stabber at some point.

I just wondered how everybody else handles these situations. And how we choose our friends in the first place.

Hello Foxy,

Your observations in the third paragraph above, does happen. It is the nature of message-boards, where you have many people of diverse backgrounds represented. We all have more than one side to our personality and often all it takes is for one of those sides to offset another, in spite of the other sides being generally accepted. Some of us only bring one side to the public, here. Unless we are talking politics, I try to bring my civil side to the board. I call it, good manners.

In real life, with real relationships, usually all sides of a friend are considered, and one unwanted trait in them, will be ignored as the remaining traits we have liked in them, override any objections to the one we could do without.

I agree with Annie. I was told one time by a long time poster on another message-board, "never say anything to anyone you don't want to see repeated." Well, that sounded like sage advice but being the kind of person I am, I went against her advice as I later found just a small handful of posters I thought considered me their friend and for the right reasons and so I trusted them. I later, was turned on by them and it hurt. My expectations of them, let me down. I let myself down by trusting the wrong people. But I did, live and learn and it was worth the price. I hold only myself accountable.

I don't see how friendships can form in this one-dimensional cyber space. Also, favorite relationships here can fall and do, and often for unknown reasons. Those hurt the most. But nothing hurt more than to realize it was I, who caused it all, by believing in them, in the first place, especially when I had had red flags all along. I am glad I learned a great lesson though. It has saved my hide since then and I have learned to stay with my instincts.

Since then also, I have followed Aristotle's wisdom, "Trust no one" and I have been much more content when posting on message-boards. I have learned it is rare to make cyber friends. The best one can expect is to enjoy selected acquaintances and I do. There is one I hold in my heart as I deeply admire her for she is an exceptional person in so many ways and when she hurts, I hurt. ( her real name and her username each end with an "e" and contain the letter o. )

Unless and until, I know someone in real life, the cyber-relationship will be superficial as it has no place to grow. Cyber space is all blue sky. No foundation. Once that is accepted, one is reborn with a clean slate and different perspective.

"To your every question, you are the answer. To your every problem you are the solution."

 

[Valerie]

Hello FF! I've found that I don't have 'friends' here.

i'm your friend, Annie