For married people

[Avatar4321]

How did you know the person you were dating was the one you were going to marry? How long were you dating them before?

 

[Nienna]

For my husband, he started making hints after about a year. It took me about 3 1/2 years, and even then, I wasn't SURE.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

i actually just kinda knew. I met Tim in our 9th grade science class. He was cute, and I knew he liked me, and I liked him, but I had other guys asking me out, so I just teased him for a while.

We didn't officially start dating until junior year, even though I had moved up to Anoka from Mounds View.

I felt safe with him, like he would never intentionally hurt me physically or emotionally. There was that connection. My dad likes him and always has. We were engaged by Senior year...I even had the ring to prove it.

I dunno, I guess I just knew.

 

[GotZoom]

How did you know the person you were dating was the one you were going to marry? How long were you dating them before?

You haven't even had your second date with her yet.

 

[manu1959]

How did you know the person you were dating was the one you were going to marry? How long were you dating them before?

i found myself doing and thinking things i never imagined i would do.....

 

[Avatar4321]

You haven't even had your second date with her yet.

So? Doesnt mean i cant ask the question. i have no intention to seroiusly think about it for a while but it is in the back of my mind.

 

[GotZoom]

So? Doesnt mean i cant ask the question. i have no intention to seroiusly think about it for a while but it is in the back of my mind.

Just making sure...no worries.

You know you are truly and insanely in love when you realize that you can't imagine waking up in the morning without that person in your life.

 

[Abbey Normal]

I just knew it, about a week after we met, and before we ever dated. For me, it was the "I can't wait to see him again" feeling you usually get when you first are attracted to someone, coupled with a new feeling- a very calm certainty that he was a truly good man, and that he was "the one". We worked in the same office, so I had lots of time to observe how smart he was, his integrity, and how well he treated other people.

I think the mistake many couples make, and one I made in spades a couple of times (getting engaged twice and eventually having to break those engagements), is confusing the butterflies and excitement with a deep and abiding love.

 

[archangel]

twice over...I haven't a clue...maybe something to do with 'boing'...been extremely careful since 1986...just a confirmed bachelor now!

 

[The ClayTaurus]

So? Doesnt mean i cant ask the question. i have no intention to seroiusly think about it for a while but it is in the back of my mind.

Just don't ask the question to her; she'll freak. GotZoom has had the best answer so far.. very true.

 

[Abbey Normal]

GotZoom has had the best answer so far.. very true.

And you know this how?

 

[GotZoom]

And you know this how?

He likes my car.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

And you know this how?

Aww Abbey I like your answer too! *pats you on the head*

 

[The ClayTaurus]

He likes my car.

It looks like a Saturn.

 

[GotZoom]

It looks like a Saturn.

Yeah...I noticed that. They kind of do, don't they.

 

[Nienna]

I like Abbey's answer better. Those feelings of "it's just right" or "we belong together" will come and go, and hopefully come again. But I think it's a huge mistake to base a marriage on how you feel. Hopefully you will have affectionate feelings, even passion for your spouse. But things like respect, trust, the same values, and the same ideas about commitment are the things that will see you through when the "feelings" are on vacation.

 

[Abbey Normal]

Aww Abbey I like your answer too! *pats you on the head*

Of course you do. It's a great answer.

 

[Abbey Normal]

I like Abbey's answer better. Those feelings of "it's just right" or "we belong together" will come and go, and hopefully come again. But I think it's a huge mistake to base a marriage on how you feel. Hopefully you will have affectionate feelings, even passion for your spouse. But things like respect, trust, the same values, and the same ideas about commitment are the things that will see you through when the "feelings" are on vacation.

This discussion reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

 

[5stringJeff]

How did you know the person you were dating was the one you were going to marry? How long were you dating them before?

First, I enjoyed myself while I dated my now-wife, getting to know her and seeing how we related.

Second, I waited until I was out of the lovey-dovey, can't-think-about-anything-else phase of the relationship, which lasted about five months.

Then, I started thinking about what it would be like to be with her, or to be without her. And I realized that I didn't want to be without her. I figured it out by the time we'd been dating for about six months.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

There is a book that our pastor gave to us during the pre-marriage counseling, its called "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts". I can't remember the author, but I know you can get it on Amazon. It is a GREAT book to help you understand how to better your relationship and have a better understanding of each other before you make the big commitment.

Tim and I have had to re-read it every so often when we find ourselves arguing (over stupid crap) a lot. Basically getting to the root of the problem.