FJB's Doctor's Wife's HarryPotterville April Foolie

[toobfreak]

All jokes are in the context of Harry Potter (whatever that is):

Lord Voldemort, why do I keep walking in circles?

Shut up Harry or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

April Fools FJB!

 

[toobfreak]

Q: What do you get when you cross a Nymphodora Tonks with a Albus Dumbledore?

A: You get a dumble nympho doradore that tonks.

April Fools FJB

 

[toobfreak]

One day, Dolores Umbridge met Sirius Black, but she wouldn't go out on a date with him because she took sirius umbridge with his black DeLoresean.

April Fools, FJB

 

[toobfreak]

Q: How many Hogwarts does it take to replace a candle in the royal chamber?

A: It depends on if you get a helga huffle tussle in your puff press or if the raven claws you instead.

April Fools, FJB!

That's all I got!

 

[Muhammed]

Discover Magazine reported that physicists had discovered a new fundamental particle of matter, dubbed the Bigon. It could only be coaxed into existence for mere millionths of a second, but amazingly, when it did materialize it was the size of a bowling ball. Physicist Albert Manque and his colleagues accidentally found the particle when a computer connected to one of their vacuum-tube experiments exploded. Video analysis of the explosion revealed the Bigon hovering over the computer for a fraction of a second. Manque theorized that the Bigon might be responsible for a host of other unexplained phenomena such as ball lightning, sinking souffles, and spontaneous human combustion.

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?

Because he has only followers, not friends.
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If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
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How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?

With Dementos.
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I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.

The fifth one was dead Sirius.
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A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool, and sits down.

He says rather loudly to the barkeep, “Hey, how would you like to hear a Hufflepuff joke?” The bar goes silent and the barkeep replies, “Sir, I will not lie to you. You are speaking to a Hufflepuff. The man behind you is an Auror from Hufflepuff, the woman to your right is a Hufflepuff dueling champion, and we all have our wands drawn. Do you really want to continue?” The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, “No I don’t. Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”

 

[toobfreak]

Discover Magazine reported that physicists had discovered a new fundamental particle of matter, dubbed the Bigon. It could only be coaxed into existence for mere millionths of a second, but amazingly, when it did materialize it was the size of a bowling ball. Physicist Albert Manque and his colleagues accidentally found the particle when a computer connected to one of their vacuum-tube experiments exploded. Video analysis of the explosion revealed the Bigon hovering over the computer for a fraction of a second. Manque theorized that the Bigon might be responsible for a host of other unexplained phenomena such as ball lightning, sinking souffles, and spontaneous human combustion.

Hmm, well, not only would such a particle be inconsistent with known physics, but I have to wonder what video camera could record a clear image during an explosion of something only there for a millionth of a second when normal video only captures 24 frames a second? In other words, the Bigon would only be there for less than 1/42,000th of the frame!

They would have to been using a highly specialized scientific camera on the order of typically costing half a million dollars or more.

 

[Muhammed]

Hmm, well, not only would such a particle be inconsistent with known physics, but I have to wonder what video camera could record a clear image during an explosion of something only there for a millionth of a second when normal video only captures 24 frames a second? In other words, the Bigon would only be there for less than 1/42,000th of the frame!

They would have to been using a highly specialized scientist camera on the order of typically costing half a million dollars or more.

...or maybe they just got lucky