~Define An Alcoholic~

[Ali777]

A quick way to diagnose someone as alcoholic is when they are physically and/or mentally dependent on alcohol as a way to make them feel normal.

Some who are physically addicted can end up going into convulsions if they quit.

Binge drinkers don't "feel right" unless they are celebrating (or mourning) something and they have a drink in their hand.

Basically, alcoholics drink because of something in their past that they feel pain over, and alcohol is the only anesthetic that they've found that works.

Which is why the 12 steps work so well, it gives you a framework to discover the truth about yourself and take appropriate actions to fix the problem (other than drinking).

I was a Drug and Alcohol Program Advisor for the U.S. Navy for over 8 years.

Oh please. The 12-Steps don't work any where near what it's hyped out to. Only about 5% of those who use it stay sober past the first year. About the same amount that do so without any treatment program what so ever. It doesn't teach you how to discover any sort of truth. All it does is get you addicted to a religion cult. If you were a Alcohol Program Advisor in the Navy, you probably lied to sailors about it not being religious "but spritual" and forced them to attend religious activities, which didn't do them any damned good.

They drink because of something in their past that they feel pain over?
You don't know what the hell you're talking about. We all feel pain over past events.
Feel normal? From drinking? Are you out of your mind? Binge drinkers don't feel right unless they're celebrating? WTF are you talking about?

 

[Cecilie1200]

In your eyes only, your opinion, what do you consider an alcoholic??
Someone who drinks every day??
Someone who drinks more than twice a week?? Someone who when they first wake up, they grab a beer??
Or is an alcoholic someone who maybe only drinks a couple of times per week, but they get so wasted, they pass out, forget where they are, miss work and end up sick for 2 days??
Just what is an alcoholic??

Forgive me for being pedantic, but it would be someone with a compulsive need for alcohol.

The reason I say this is because everyone is wired differently. One person could go out clubbing with his friends two or three nights a week, and have some beers every evening, and not be an alcoholic because he's physically and psychologically capable of giving up alcohol if the requirement arose with no ill effects. Another person could conceivably drink less alcohol total, and less often, but be incapable of giving it up without suffering physical or mental problems from it.

It's the need that defines it for me, not the amount.

 

[Douger]

I'm a pussyholic.

 

[Grace]

well, from my experiences with alcoholism, it's a gene that is dormant in the body (passed from parent(s) or ancestors) that is prodded awake once the gene is "poked" with alcohol. Which is why one drink for some people is like one hit of heroin or coke or whatever. All it takes is one time and that's all she wrote.
Ex didn't go to AA because he said sitting around listening to a bunch of sober (and sometimes not so sober) ex drunks talking about their problems with drinking and hitting their bottoms just made him wanna get up and leave and hit the nearest bar. So he did it alone. I didn't help him either. He had to do it on his own and he had to WANT to do it on his own. Took a few tries and falling off the proverbial wagon a few times but he is doing good so far. 6 years sober. Last time he only lasted 3. But it was long enough the years we were married to kill any love I had for him "in that way". We are best friends, but that's it. It died. His best friend, The Bottle, saw to that.

I have gone to plenty of meetings though. For friends and family. NA and AA both. And then I would go to my alanon so I could learn about how it affected ME and that I was not all by myself with that shit. Took years. Took my life. Took my trust. Ruined my marriage. Ended my relationships with my family. Ended my friendships.

I think what griped my butt the most going to those meetings was the knowlege that their little cards on the table of each meeting that said "what is shared here, STAYS here"...which was a crock of shit. Bunch of gossipy old bastards and biddy hens talking to all and sundry about who fell off the wagon, who showed up stoned or drunk, who was sleeping with whom, blah blah blah. AND the topping on that proverbial bullshit cake was those who sat there all preening claiming they were 20 years sober and acting like kings of the castle. I finally had enough after witnessing this shit and my last meeting with a friend of mine at AA was me standing up in the middle of the bullshit talk and saying "if you're sober after 20 fucking years, what the fuck are you doing here????? Go live your life like you should and quite talking about everyone else here behind their backs, you bunch of hypocrites".

I don't go to alanon any more either. No need. Unless ex starts in again...which I hope like hell never happens again. It will kill both of us this next go round.

 

[Douger]

Grace. EX is X. WTF are you doing there ?

 

[Dabs]

My ex husband is a prime example of an alcoholic. I knew he drank when I married him, but who knows why I still went on with the marriage. He admitted he was an alcoholic years ago, and he still admits it to this day.
He is 52 years old, and has been a heavy duty drinker since he was about 16 or so. I married him when I was 22 and he was 25.
When we married, he started working at this large carpet place, 12 hour shifts, working 8 PM to 8 AM.
When he got more seniority, he went to days, working 8 AM to 8 PM.
He never missed work, always took care of his family.
But every night after work, he would walk in with a 12 pack or 18 pack of Busch beer in cans, and he would consume every single one of those beers, until he finally passed out or just got tired and went to sleep.
He still does that to this day. On days that he is not working, he drinks way more. A LOT more. His work hours are odd- he works 3 days, then 2 days off....then works 2 days, then 3 days off...it's so he has every other weekend off.
He mostly drinks beer, but often he will go for the homemade moonshine (raunchy stuff) or some Muscadine wine, he has a friend who makes that. I, and our son, think he looks yellowish. Which I know, is not a good sign, I think he needs his liver checked, and he'll tell you the same, but because he's afraid of what the doctor will say, he doesn't want to go to the doctor.
He has lost some weight, and yes he is my ex husband, and no I don't have any love feelings for him, but, he is my son's Father, and I worry for that reason mainly, but also, I don't like to see any human being suffer.
There were many nights, he would pass out on the ground, and his friends would call me, and tell me he is laying out cold. There are nights NOW, that I will go over and find him lying lifeless on the sofa, and I fear the worst as I walk over, only to find he has passed out, with a half full beer in his hand.
He will tell us he knows he is an alcoholic. But he refuses to do anything about it.
My SF (step-father) was an alcoholic too, in the younger years, but he stopped drinking as he got older. I don't see this happening with the ex. But, with the way my luck runs, the bastard will probably out-live me *ha*

 

[Trajan]

well, from my experiences with alcoholism, it's a gene that is dormant in the body (passed from parent(s) or ancestors) that is prodded awake once the gene is "poked" with alcohol. Which is why one drink for some people is like one hit of heroin or coke or whatever. All it takes is one time and that's all she wrote.
Ex didn't go to AA because he said sitting around listening to a bunch of sober (and sometimes not so sober) ex drunks talking about their problems with drinking and hitting their bottoms just made him wanna get up and leave and hit the nearest bar. So he did it alone. I didn't help him either. He had to do it on his own and he had to WANT to do it on his own. Took a few tries and falling off the proverbial wagon a few times but he is doing good so far. 6 years sober. Last time he only lasted 3. But it was long enough the years we were married to kill any love I had for him "in that way". We are best friends, but that's it. It died. His best friend, The Bottle, saw to that.

I have gone to plenty of meetings though. For friends and family. NA and AA both. And then I would go to my alanon so I could learn about how it affected ME and that I was not all by myself with that shit. Took years. Took my life. Took my trust. Ruined my marriage. Ended my relationships with my family. Ended my friendships.

I think what griped my butt the most going to those meetings was the knowlege that their little cards on the table of each meeting that said "what is shared here, STAYS here"...which was a crock of shit. Bunch of gossipy old bastards and biddy hens talking to all and sundry about who fell off the wagon, who showed up stoned or drunk, who was sleeping with whom, blah blah blah. AND the topping on that proverbial bullshit cake was those who sat there all preening claiming they were 20 years sober and acting like kings of the castle. I finally had enough after witnessing this shit and my last meeting with a friend of mine at AA was me standing up in the middle of the bullshit talk and saying "if you're sober after 20 fucking years, what the fuck are you doing here????? Go live your life like you should and quite talking about everyone else here behind their backs, you bunch of hypocrites".

I don't go to alanon any more either. No need. Unless ex starts in again...which I hope like hell never happens again. It will kill both of us this next go round.

I think you mean "enzyme"

and in answer to the OP-

You are powerless over alcohol— your life has become unmanageable.

paraphrased from step 1.

 

[AllieBaba]

I'm with the majority I think...an alcoholic is someone who's drinking causes problems and who knows it but doesn't/can't quit.

I'm not a person who thinks drinking alone is the hallmark of an alcoholic. I rarely drink any more and when I do, it's a couple of toddies late at night in my own house.

 

[Sallow]

Anyone in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Otherwise..they are drunks.

 

[Dabs]

Anyone in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Otherwise..they are drunks.

But if they are in AA, doesn't that mean they are trying to get help??
And it could quite possibly mean, they can quit drinking, if they haven't already.
I knew of a man who went to AA for 10 years after he quit drinking, just to keep himself on the right road as he called it
A drunk is someone who just doesn't give a shit, who they hurt, themselves or others...no regards for anything else. Their drinking is the number one thing in their life.
I think if someone is going to AA, they might be considered an alcoholic at one time, but if they can totally quit, I think it can then be said they were ONCE an alcoholic, but not one anymore.

 

[Two Thumbs]

If you need it. No matter how rare you may drink, if there is any need, you are an alcoholic.

 

[peach174]

to me an alcoholic is someone who is obsessed with alcohol and cannot control how much they consume.
It is that way with all addictions.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Anyone in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Otherwise..they are drunks.

But if they are in AA, doesn't that mean they are trying to get help??
And it could quite possibly mean, they can quit drinking, if they haven't already.
I knew of a man who went to AA for 10 years after he quit drinking, just to keep himself on the right road as he called it
A drunk is someone who just doesn't give a shit, who they hurt, themselves or others...no regards for anything else. Their drinking is the number one thing in their life.
I think if someone is going to AA, they might be considered an alcoholic at one time, but if they can totally quit, I think it can then be said they were ONCE an alcoholic, but not one anymore.

AA itself says there's no such thing as a "former alcoholic", only a "recovering alcoholic".

 

[AllieBaba]

Any alcoholic in recovery will tell you, they are ALWAYS an alcoholic.

And no alcoholic wants to be an alcoholic. Yet at the same time, they are the only ones who can affect a *cure*.

I certainly spent a lot of time drinking, hard, when I was younger. But you know there came a point when it just wasn't fun anymore, and when that happened, I quit. So now I wonder, was I an alcoholic, or was I just in a stage where I made it a part of my life? I mean, if you're an alcoholic, you're one forever, right? I spent 20 years of my life thinking the most fun thing in the world was to go to parties, hit the bars, etc...and consume copious amounts of liquor...I do mean copious.

I have no desire to pick up that lifestyle again, and I'm not concerned about it at all. I don't want to drink at all for the most part...when I do, I have a couple and I'm done. I'm not interested in going to bars, I don't want to go to parties...not because they're uncomfortable for me but because that's just not fun anymore, I have other things to do. Now I view them as a waste of time..there was a time when they were a goal!

So who the hell knows. I don't miss it, think I was silly to ever think it was fun, but I feel that way about a lot of the pursuits of my younger days.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Any alcoholic in recovery will tell you, they are ALWAYS an alcoholic.

And no alcoholic wants to be an alcoholic. Yet at the same time, they are the only ones who can affect a *cure*.

I certainly spent a lot of time drinking, hard, when I was younger. But you know there came a point when it just wasn't fun anymore, and when that happened, I quit. So now I wonder, was I an alcoholic, or was I just in a stage where I made it a part of my life? I mean, if you're an alcoholic, you're one forever, right? I spent 20 years of my life thinking the most fun thing in the world was to go to parties, hit the bars, etc...and consume copious amounts of liquor...I do mean copious.

I have no desire to pick up that lifestyle again, and I'm not concerned about it at all. I don't want to drink at all for the most part...when I do, I have a couple and I'm done. I'm not interested in going to bars, I don't want to go to parties...not because they're uncomfortable for me but because that's just not fun anymore, I have other things to do. Now I view them as a waste of time..there was a time when they were a goal!

So who the hell knows. I don't miss it, think I was silly to ever think it was fun, but I feel that way about a lot of the pursuits of my younger days.

I'd say if you just gave it up without any ill effects or ever missing it, you weren't an alcoholic. You were just a dumb kid.

 

[AllieBaba]

Until I was 42!

 

[PixieStix]

Alcoholism is sad and destructive to all involved. Many times the alcoholic cannot remember the wrongs he/she did to others. Maybe they never will.

Acknowledgment of wronging others is key to becoming and staying sober. Maybe I am wrong. I only know because my brother is a recovering alcoholic.

I have to wonder if there are differing reasons for becoming an alcoholic. My brother is one from years of going to lunch and dinner with other executives, or having corporate meetings over drinks. Later in his life everything was about getting drunk...till he lost a 23 year old wife who took him to the cleaners. She was a binge drinker. That woke him up. Has not had a drink in quite a few years.

Then you have those who simply cannot cope with the past ect....or have personality traits that makes them vunerable. I think those are the ones who have a tougher time getting and staying sober. JMHO

 

[Cecilie1200]

Until I was 42!

My sister is approaching 50, and she's STILL a dumb kid. Some people take a lot longer to grow up.

 

[Grace]

Grace. EX is X. WTF are you doing there ?

He is sober. He is my best friend. I'll be here with him til the end of either of us. Unless he picks his other best friend (the bottle) over me again. Then I'm outta here. And he knows it.

 

[High_Gravity]

mE.