~Define An Alcoholic~

toxicmedia

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Alchoholics are the same as addicts. If a substance other than food and water is negatively affecting your relationships and life, and you lack the mental mechanism to quit doing these substances, you need to get at the reason why you abuse these subtances. Thus NA and AA.
 

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For those who are not sure what an alcoholic is...go to an AA meeting. They don't ask questions. They don't expect strangers there to "share". They just move around the table and everyone has their say..however long it may be. Or they don't say anything except "pass". And listen. Watch. Digest. You can pick out the ones still struggling and the ones that have done well....and the ones that never were alcoholics but NEED the label so they feel they belong somewhere (munchausen by proxy).
 

High_Gravity

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For those who are not sure what an alcoholic is...go to an AA meeting. They don't ask questions. They don't expect strangers there to "share". They just move around the table and everyone has their say..however long it may be. Or they don't say anything except "pass". And listen. Watch. Digest. You can pick out the ones still struggling and the ones that have done well....and the ones that never were alcoholics but NEED the label so they feel they belong somewhere (munchausen by proxy).
I went to the Militaries version of AA and it was completely different, you are forced to share, answer questions and tell everyone every week why you went in, and if you refused you faced disciplinary action. Makes you want a drink afterwards.:doubt:
 

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alcoholism can only be diagnosed by the person with the disease. Many people need help but only a few want it. There is only one method that has worked over time because alcoholism can not be cured but it can be controlled so you can recover and live a happy and productive life.
 
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Dabs

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Well, I have seen what alcohol can do to a person. And we all can agree I'm sure, it's not pretty.
I never did drink. Which was weird because I was raised around alcohol...both my real Dad and my SF drank. But I never liked the taste of beer, so it's not something I let myself get involved in. And cigarettes, never smoked either.
But alcohol is out there, everydamnwhere, so if a person wants to drink, they're gonna find a way to drink :-/
 

Foxfyre

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Many alcoholics share similar patterns of drinking and behavior but not all. Again some do start drinking at wake up; others wait until the end of the work day; others can go days or weeks in between 'binges'. Some drink only beer; some only wine; some only vodka; some anything alcoholic they can get their hands on. There is no rule of how it has to work.

I'm sorry Grace had such a terrible experience with Al Anon but she was obviously in a group that didn't ever get the program. Millions have reclaimed their lives and dispelled the demons that plagued them in Al-Anon groups as have millions reclaimed their lives through AA or similar programs. People being so different, it is impossible for the same system/program will be effective for everybody, whether the addict or the co-dependent.

I had one friend who went through detox and a 30-day in house treatment program seven times before he finally got the program and got sober. Now he is one of AA's strongest advocates, but he is walking proof that falling off the wagon doesn't doom you. :)
 

Stashman

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You are an alcoholic if you cannot stop drinking without help.
 

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An alcoholic is a person who doesn't know the meaning of self control. They say it's the first drink that gets you in trouble not the second, third or fourth but i don't think that's true. Self control is a big part of life that us human beings need to learn.
 
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Big Black Dog

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If alcohol consumption causes any problem in your life, and you are not able to stop drinking to avoid that problem, most likely you are an alcoholic.
 
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Kooshdakhaa

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If alcohol causes problems in your life on a regular basis, you are probably an alcoholic. Like what Big Black Dog said.

Someone who is not an alcoholic would not keep drinking every night when it causes them to wake up with a terrible hangover every morning.

Someone who is not an alcoholic might drink to the point that they don't remember what they did the night before a couple of times. But they wouldn't keep doing it.

An alcoholic lets alcohol become the most important thing in their life. That next drink is the center of the universe.

One thing I get tired of hearing about is rehab. I am an alcoholic. One time I went through a 12-week outpatient treatment program (either that or lose my job). I started drinking again before the program was even over. But all you had to do was confess and act all contrite and you'd get away with it.

When I finally quit, I quit on my own, with the support of my husband who quit drinking before I did. I didn't go to rehab, I didn't go to AA meetings, I just quit. Sometimes when I tell people this they say, well, you must not be an alcoholic. But, I'll tell you what, at that treatment program I went through I tried to say I might not be an alcholic. One of the counselors looked me in the eyes and said, based on everything you've told us about your habits and behavior, you are most definitely an alcoholic.

And that's another thing about an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 10 years. But if I were to have one, the odds are that I would start drinking again on a regular basis. A couple drinks would become several, and one or two nights a week would become every night. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, it just keeps getting worse. Alcoholics cannot drink in moderation, no matter how they try.
 
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Kooshdakhaa

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An alcoholic is a person who doesn't know the meaning of self control. They say it's the first drink that gets you in trouble not the second, third or fourth but i don't think that's true. Self control is a big part of life that us human beings need to learn.
It's not about self control. It's EASY for a nonalcoholic to stop at one or two drinks. It doesn't take a lot of self control. Because they're not ADDICTED to alcohol.

That's another sign of an alcoholic...if you have to struggle to keep from drinking too much, you're probably an alcoholic. Nonalcoholics can take it or leave it. No big self-control needed.
 

Kooshdakhaa

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Any alcoholic in recovery will tell you, they are ALWAYS an alcoholic.

And no alcoholic wants to be an alcoholic. Yet at the same time, they are the only ones who can affect a *cure*.

I certainly spent a lot of time drinking, hard, when I was younger. But you know there came a point when it just wasn't fun anymore, and when that happened, I quit. So now I wonder, was I an alcoholic, or was I just in a stage where I made it a part of my life? I mean, if you're an alcoholic, you're one forever, right? I spent 20 years of my life thinking the most fun thing in the world was to go to parties, hit the bars, etc...and consume copious amounts of liquor...I do mean copious.

I have no desire to pick up that lifestyle again, and I'm not concerned about it at all. I don't want to drink at all for the most part...when I do, I have a couple and I'm done. I'm not interested in going to bars, I don't want to go to parties...not because they're uncomfortable for me but because that's just not fun anymore, I have other things to do. Now I view them as a waste of time..there was a time when they were a goal!

So who the hell knows. I don't miss it, think I was silly to ever think it was fun, but I feel that way about a lot of the pursuits of my younger days.

You are not an alcoholic. :clap2:
 

editec

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I think its fair to suggest that there are different kinds of alcoholism and those different kinds addiction tend to also manifest in different patterns of drinking to excess.
 

Foxfyre

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An alcoholic is a person who doesn't know the meaning of self control. They say it's the first drink that gets you in trouble not the second, third or fourth but i don't think that's true. Self control is a big part of life that us human beings need to learn.
It's not about self control. It's EASY for a nonalcoholic to stop at one or two drinks. It doesn't take a lot of self control. Because they're not ADDICTED to alcohol.

That's another sign of an alcoholic...if you have to struggle to keep from drinking too much, you're probably an alcoholic. Nonalcoholics can take it or leave it. No big self-control needed.
It is a fact that many who start AA drop out. In fact most. Statistically the success rate of in house or outpatients treatment programs is pretty grim. As you illustrated, the alcoholic manages drinking through a clever web of deception, lies, manipulation, and pretense--whatever it takes to give him/her access and ability to alcohol. And yes, the alcoholic will have one drink or a half drink just to PROVE to others (or sometimes himself) that he is okay; he doesn't have problem; he can stop anytime he wants to. But he is already planning how he will get his next drink. He thinks about that next drink a lot even when he is not drinking. He arranges his life to make that next drink more accessible

Alcoholics are just like other people. Most are above normal in intelligence, sociable, personable, funny. Many never get a DUI or lose a job or a relationship because of their drinking. Or apparently because of their drinking. But they will drive drunk. Their work will suffer. Their relationships become as sick as their addiction because their loved ones will try to manage the alcoholic's addiction just as the alcoholic does.

The one thing that sets alcoholics apart from non alcoholics is that alcoholics are addicted. And like all addicts, the addiction becomes the number one most important thing in their life. Getting clean and sober does not cure the addiction. But it does remove it from priority.

Millions who do not get clean and sober from rehab/treatment or their first AA meetings, etc. do go on to get clean and sober later. The main advantage of rehab or AA or similar programs is that once the addict has been through them, they are much less able to lie to themselves about their addictions. Their addiciton will never again be as much 'fun'. And then you hear many success stories of people who eventually just quit on their own. But in truth, there is almost always a lot of history in that quitting.
 

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