- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
This is a consumerism fairy-tale inspired by Toys, Thank You For Smoking, and Casino.
Signing off,
====
Alas was a valiant master of doom and war and was now contending with a new modernism plague involving the proliferation of capitalism gluttonies and social evils. A new army of super-robots was being designed by the U.S. government to create a pseudo-fascist global government which would quell all forms of terrorism (however at the expense of human liberties). Alas realized this global scheme was anything but a cure and also concluded that capitalism had driven humanity to the brink of complete egomania.
Beneath the veil of robotics-operated 'geo-governance' there lay many layers and levels of perdition in American society mostly spearheaded by the vices of commerce, consumerism, and capitalism. Obesity became a prevalent problem among American women, and Alas realized that MTV and Facebook were 'condoning' a sort of uniform sloth regarding traffic idleness. This was the 'Real Rome' and vanities and lascivious insidiousness prevailed in U.S. cities such as L.A., New York, and Chicago, as criminal underworlds experimented with profiteerism-based 'flesh luxuries' (e.g., sex-slaves!). Alas conjectured that there were even anti-immigration biased Neo-Nazi groups in such cities professing the 'virtue' of cannibalism. Was America truly insane?
Unfortunately for Alas, this 'macro-mania' was in many forms eerily 'intelligent.' Crime syndicates had members dress up in fancy costumes for Halloween and coordinate crime-boss poker-games in speakeasies across America and even in traditionally 'sane' cities such as Philadelphia and San Francisco! Criminals exploited capitalism and wagered the souls of 'customers' and pedestrians simply 'immersed' in capitalism's myriad labyrinths. Alas had to strike with sure confidence, so he decided to assassinate a member of the Trump Administration working for the descendent of druglord Pablo Escobar. Alas then posted in the NY Times, "Crime is a sign of sociological imagination and must be addressed with televised evangelism!" Would cynical Americans heed Alas's important warning? It was all...mad.
Fortunately, Alas found an excellent cure to this mass hysteria. He decided to start marketing Manhattan Clam Chowder (MCC) soup as a modern consumerism/consumption symbol of shared customs, etiquette, and values! MCC was a rich and tomato-ingredient rendition of its creamy-white classic 'counterpart' New England Clam Chowder (NECC) and was considered more 'pluralism-friendly' than its counterpart (since mostly Caucasians preferred NECC to MCC). Alas decided to market Campbell's MCC soup cans (in markets, bazaars, online grocers, and through Warhol-esque commerce-trophy iconography paintings/stamps) as penultimate symbols of 'capitalism compass consciousness.' Would Alas succeed with MCC what could not be effectively achieved with IBM, Wal-Mart, or even Apple Computers? It was an 'aesthetics war' in the end.
Finally, the U.S. government surrendered to the mighty warrior-knight Alas who revealed himself to actually be Lord Shiva (meditating master of destruction) who lived in the snowy mountains of the Himalayas. Alas/Shiva explained that the 'new world order' would be gauged by friendship, trust, creativity, and community values rather than raw capitalism ambition and consumerism gluttonies. Alas/Shiva returned to his mountaintop dominion, and historians would remember him as the 'Priest who Saved America.' Even the Devil (Satan), adversary of mankind, remarked, "Alas/Shiva has salvaged capitalism, but maybe consumers will remember the endless intrigue of piracy (I always win)!"
====
Signing off,
====
Alas was a valiant master of doom and war and was now contending with a new modernism plague involving the proliferation of capitalism gluttonies and social evils. A new army of super-robots was being designed by the U.S. government to create a pseudo-fascist global government which would quell all forms of terrorism (however at the expense of human liberties). Alas realized this global scheme was anything but a cure and also concluded that capitalism had driven humanity to the brink of complete egomania.
Beneath the veil of robotics-operated 'geo-governance' there lay many layers and levels of perdition in American society mostly spearheaded by the vices of commerce, consumerism, and capitalism. Obesity became a prevalent problem among American women, and Alas realized that MTV and Facebook were 'condoning' a sort of uniform sloth regarding traffic idleness. This was the 'Real Rome' and vanities and lascivious insidiousness prevailed in U.S. cities such as L.A., New York, and Chicago, as criminal underworlds experimented with profiteerism-based 'flesh luxuries' (e.g., sex-slaves!). Alas conjectured that there were even anti-immigration biased Neo-Nazi groups in such cities professing the 'virtue' of cannibalism. Was America truly insane?
Unfortunately for Alas, this 'macro-mania' was in many forms eerily 'intelligent.' Crime syndicates had members dress up in fancy costumes for Halloween and coordinate crime-boss poker-games in speakeasies across America and even in traditionally 'sane' cities such as Philadelphia and San Francisco! Criminals exploited capitalism and wagered the souls of 'customers' and pedestrians simply 'immersed' in capitalism's myriad labyrinths. Alas had to strike with sure confidence, so he decided to assassinate a member of the Trump Administration working for the descendent of druglord Pablo Escobar. Alas then posted in the NY Times, "Crime is a sign of sociological imagination and must be addressed with televised evangelism!" Would cynical Americans heed Alas's important warning? It was all...mad.
Fortunately, Alas found an excellent cure to this mass hysteria. He decided to start marketing Manhattan Clam Chowder (MCC) soup as a modern consumerism/consumption symbol of shared customs, etiquette, and values! MCC was a rich and tomato-ingredient rendition of its creamy-white classic 'counterpart' New England Clam Chowder (NECC) and was considered more 'pluralism-friendly' than its counterpart (since mostly Caucasians preferred NECC to MCC). Alas decided to market Campbell's MCC soup cans (in markets, bazaars, online grocers, and through Warhol-esque commerce-trophy iconography paintings/stamps) as penultimate symbols of 'capitalism compass consciousness.' Would Alas succeed with MCC what could not be effectively achieved with IBM, Wal-Mart, or even Apple Computers? It was an 'aesthetics war' in the end.
Finally, the U.S. government surrendered to the mighty warrior-knight Alas who revealed himself to actually be Lord Shiva (meditating master of destruction) who lived in the snowy mountains of the Himalayas. Alas/Shiva explained that the 'new world order' would be gauged by friendship, trust, creativity, and community values rather than raw capitalism ambition and consumerism gluttonies. Alas/Shiva returned to his mountaintop dominion, and historians would remember him as the 'Priest who Saved America.' Even the Devil (Satan), adversary of mankind, remarked, "Alas/Shiva has salvaged capitalism, but maybe consumers will remember the endless intrigue of piracy (I always win)!"
====
