Why people are @$$holes online & How the Internet warps perception

[Luddly Neddite]

Why People Are Such Assholes on the Internet

Why People Are Such Assholes on the Internet


Anyone who has spent a significant amount of time on internet message boards, chatrooms, or comment sections has, at some point:

Had their political views compared to that of Hitler’s.
Had their sexual orientation, sexual experience or sexual prowess challenged or ridiculed.
Suffered from threats of physical violence, both against themselves and their mothers.
Had sarcastic cat pictures posted to make fun of them.

The internet has a way of bringing out the worst in people. You may think that the internet simply allows people to say what they were already thinking anyway. But I disagree. It goes further than that. It’s not that people were already thinking these things but never had the courage to say them in person.

There’s something about the internet that warps our perceptions of one another.

At the same link -

How The Internet Warps Perception

Why does this happen? Why do slight and insignificant differences in opinion become uncrossable ideological chasms online? What is it about this mode of communication that causes everyone else to sound so much like Hitler?

What does this mean for culture?

Freud made the argument that for society to exist, man’s worst impulses — violence, selfishness, inappropriate sexuality — must be kept in check. The internet is possibly the first mechanism in human history that allows society to not only exist, but thrive, by removing the need for self-censorship. With no consequences and less efficient communication, people are rewarded for shock value of what they say as much as the content and meaning.

Its a short op/ed, interesting and well worth our consideration and be sure to watch the video.

Thinking about the thread about the child throwing a fit because he couldn't have the food he wanted, I sometimes think the biggest different between adults and children is that little kids get to do what we sometimes wish we could.

What y'all think?

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

Does that mean that its only fear of consequences that keeps us from behaving badly?

If so, maybe there's some truth to the theory that some follow religion in order to get into heaven.

I'd like to believe we're better than that.

But yes, being anonymous and knowing you'll never have to face that person irl does seem to make it possible for some people to call names and in general, behave like spoiled children.

Maybe that's what the internet gives us - permission to throw little childish tantrums. Back to the thread about the kid throwing a tantrum because he wanted something and the guy who bought them all so the child couldn't have any.

Who was the child in that situation? I think the guy who was actually willing to spend the money to buy up all the treats so a little kid couldn't have any was behaving far worse than the child throwing the fit.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

No fear = insanity. Fear's natural and built-in. We fear a precipice so as not to walk off it to our doom. We fear mouthing off to people for fear of being hit. All kinds of fears limit and inhibit human behaviours. Without which we'd be a much more dysfunctional species if we existed at all.

 

[Dot Com]

people, like the first person to reply to this thread for instance, feel secure behind their anonymous online identity. That allows them to puff their chests up, when, in reality, they are bashful basement dwellers/chicken hawks for the most part.

Look at the usual suspects who actually thanked an ad hom in the CDZ :

The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shart_attack For This Useful Post:
Mad Scientist (Yesterday), Vigilante (Yesterday), Wildman (Today)

 

[Billo_Really]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

True statement.

Man, I'm getting deja vu, I thought I already posted in this thread?

 

[Indeependent]

I am the same on message boards as I am in real life.
Not quite poetic, not quite a boar.

 

[Billo_Really]

I am the same on message boards as I am in real life.
Not quite poetic, not quite a boar.

Me to. All my close friends say I'm an asshole.

 

[Indeependent]

I am the same on message boards as I am in real life.
Not quite poetic, not quite a boar.

Me to. All my close friends say I'm an asshole.

Apparently they need a token asshole in the group.
All groups need at least one person who doesn't hold back.

 

[Pennywise]

The freedom to speak without filters is a sort of cleansing for people when they are frustrated or angry about an issue or event, so it's okay to go off from time to time. What I don't get is tossing bombs at people simply because you do not agree with them. I will let it all fly myself from time to time, but only when dealing with someone who is a flaming asshole and ought to STFU.

I started a thread in the religion section recently and was pleasantly surprised that it pretty much remained civil. I'd actually prefer to discuss things rather than debate. I really don't give a shit if people think I am right or not.

 

[Billo_Really]

The freedom to speak without filters is a sort of cleansing for people when they are frustrated or angry about an issue or event, so it's okay to go off from time to time. What I don't get is tossing bombs at people simply because you do not agree with them. I will let it all fly myself from time to time, but only when dealing with someone who is a flaming asshole and ought to STFU.

I started a thread in the religion section recently and was pleasantly surprised that it pretty much remained civil. I'd actually prefer to discuss things rather than debate. I really don't give a shit if people think I am right or not.

I'm the same way.

I also don't have so much invested in a position, that I'm not willing to change it, if a better argument comes along and proves I was wrong.

 

[Billo_Really]

Apparently they need a token asshole in the group.
All groups need at least one person who doesn't hold back.

I am not a token, I am a human being!

 

[Esmeralda]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

Does that mean that its only fear of consequences that keeps us from behaving badly?

If so, maybe there's some truth to the theory that some follow religion in order to get into heaven.

I'd like to believe we're better than that.

But yes, being anonymous and knowing you'll never have to face that person irl does seem to make it possible for some people to call names and in general, behave like spoiled children.

Maybe that's what the internet gives us - permission to throw little childish tantrums. Back to the thread about the kid throwing a tantrum because he wanted something and the guy who bought them all so the child couldn't have any.

Who was the child in that situation? I think the guy who was actually willing to spend the money to buy up all the treats so a little kid couldn't have any was behaving far worse than the child throwing the fit.

I think it is definitely true that people behave differently online than they do in person. What we consider civilized behavior is often lost because we are hiding behind a mask.

It is the theme of the novel Lord of the Flies, which most people in the English speaking world, and outside of it as well, have read in high school. When the veneer of civilization is gone (in the book, the adults), we revert to our primitive mentalities. That is what the internet does, allows us to behave in primitive ways without repercussions.

Many of the things some people say on the internet they would not say in person. The 'c' word is a perfect example. In RL I am an ordinary woman, a decent average woman whom men treat with respect. No one in RL has ever used that word toward me, but online, on USMB, many think it is just fine to call me that: they enjoy insulting women that way, though in person, most likely, they would never direct such an insult to any ordinary, average, decent woman, not face to face. Why not? Because the veneer of civilized behavior puts restrictions on what we do and say. When people are online, they engage in behavior they can't engage in in the real world. Like the boys in Lord of the Flies, they revert to being primitives.

It is a metaphorical punch in the face people fear by behaving differently in RL than they do online. But I don't think it is a fear of the particular person they are talking to, rather a fear of looking very bad in respect to social conventions.

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original thread) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

 

[Billo_Really]

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original threa) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

I don't say anything behind anyone's back, I wouldn't say to their face.

 

[Mad Scientist]

people, like the first person to reply to this thread for instance, feel secure behind their anonymous online identity. That allows them to puff their chests up, when, in reality, they are bashful basement dwellers/chicken hawks for the most part.

Look at the usual suspects who actually thanked an ad hom in the CDZ :

The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shart_attack For This Useful Post:
Mad Scientist (Yesterday), Vigilante (Yesterday), Wildman (Today)

I HAD actually written a nasty flame but then realized this is in the Clean Zone (sh*t!).

And besides, isn't the Thread Title kinda' asking for it?

 

[dblack]

I am the same on message boards as I am in real life.
Not quite poetic, not quite a boar.

Interesting typo ...

Boar = male pig
Bore = make a hole in something
Bore = cause to be bored

Lots to choose from.

You forgot the most apropos definition:

boor = unrefined, ill-mannered person

 

[Esmeralda]

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original threa) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

I don't say anything behind anyone's back, I wouldn't say to their face.

Do you use that kind of language in real life? Toward people just because you disagree with them or don't like them? Do you call women the 'c' word to their face just because you don't like them or what they say? Do you call blacks the 'n' word to their face just because you can?

I don't actually pay much attention to your posts, but I don't remember them being like that, so maybe this situation doesn't apply to you as much as it does to others.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

There are a couple of comments that make me think of bullying.

A basic truth about bullies as well as those who abuse others (irl) is that they will never take on anyone who could hurt them. The man who beats up his wife will never ever enter into a fight with a man his own size and weight.

Is that behavior related to online @$$holes?

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I am the same on message boards as I am in real life.
Not quite poetic, not quite a boar.

Interesting typo ...

Boar = male pig
Bore = make a hole in something
Bore = cause to be bored

Lots to choose from.

You forgot the most apropos definition:

boor = unrefined, ill-mannered person

Dang!

Thanks.

Also meant to say, my bet is that he's none of the above irl.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

people, like the first person to reply to this thread for instance, feel secure behind their anonymous online identity. That allows them to puff their chests up, when, in reality, they are bashful basement dwellers/chicken hawks for the most part.

Look at the usual suspects who actually thanked an ad hom in the CDZ :

The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shart_attack For This Useful Post:
Mad Scientist (Yesterday), Vigilante (Yesterday), Wildman (Today)

I HAD actually written a nasty flame but then realized this is in the Clean Zone (sh*t!).

And besides, isn't the Thread Title kinda' asking for it?

Not at all.

Its the title of the op/ed I linked and a fair description of the phenomenon.