Why people are @$$holes online & How the Internet warps perception

[Billo_Really]

Do you use that kind of languge in real life? Toward people just because you disagree with them or don't like them? Do you call women the 'c' word to their face just because you don't like them or what they say? Do you call blacks the 'n' word to their face just because you can?

I don't actually pay much attention to your posts, but I don't remember them being like that, so maybe this situation doesn't apply to you as much as it does to others.

My point is, I usually say what I feel I have to say at the time. I don't normally consider my social status when saying them. The exception is when I'm at work. I don't talk at work, like I do on my own time. But I do talk online, like I do in real life.

When I use vulgar language, it is not because I don't like someone, or I disagree with what they said, it has more to do with me finding what they said (or the way they said it) as being offensive or obscene. My posts are usually in proportion to the posts I am responding to.

I have called women the c-word because of what they said or did, never because I just didn't like them. It always depends on the gravity of their actions. I'm not saying my response is okay, I'm just explaining my response.

Yes, I've used the n-word in front of blacks just because I could. I didn't grow up in a very nice neighborhood. Me and my basketball buddy would go down to the local park and be the only two white guys there. We played there 3 times a week for 2 years. But in that situation, it's like everybody knew everybody. It wasn't like, "OMG look at all these black people!" It was more like, "Hey Henry, what's up?" "Carmichael, you need two?" "O'Neil, you got next? How's Cornell?"

 

[Luddly Neddite]

people, like the first person to reply to this thread for instance, feel secure behind their anonymous online identity. That allows them to puff their chests up, when, in reality, they are bashful basement dwellers/chicken hawks for the most part.

Look at the usual suspects who actually thanked an ad hom in the CDZ :

The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shart_attack For This Useful Post:
Mad Scientist (Yesterday), Vigilante (Yesterday), Wildman (Today)

I HAD actually written a nasty flame but then realized this is in the Clean Zone (sh*t!).

And besides, isn't the Thread Title kinda' asking for it?

So, why write a nasty flame?

Why not address the questions the op/ed poses?

Seriously.

Why do people read any legit question or idea and then flame it?

There's got to be some sort of gratification in behaving badly on line.

I almost said, "... behaving badly in public" but of course, in a way, this is private. No one we know will ever know that we're using really offensive language or attacking people we don't even know.

It always comes back to anonymity. Its really the ultimate in bullying. And, its how some people would behave if they knew they could get away with it.

 

[Howey]

I posted in the other thread that I come from forums where ppl actually knew each other, therefore I'm me. I use my real name and describe real life situations. I have nothing to hide or misrepresent. The internet, particularly message boards, brings out the worst in people. Today it's the extreme right yelling like in Luddly's pic wanting to be heard, ten years ago it was the left.

Just remember, anonymity doesn’t exist on the internet. And don't develop an ulcer over disagreements. Hell, most of my family and friends are conservative. Some of my best "friends" on here are too. Adults don't hate others because they're republican, democrat, gay, straight, black, white or whatever.

 

[AquaAthena]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

Not all of us. Some of us were taught good manners and use them when in public or on a public message board.

 

[House]

nvm

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I am the same on message boards as I am in real life.
Not quite poetic, not quite a boar.

Me to. All my close friends say I'm an asshole.

Apparently they need a token asshole in the group.
All groups need at least one person who doesn't hold back.

I think this is probably true.

If so, it would indicate that we're all sheep and that we need someone to give us permission to be bullies.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

nvm

Uh ... what does that mean?

 

[House]

nvm

Uh ... what does that mean?

What does NVM mean? - NVM Definition - Meaning of NVM - InternetSlang.com

 

[AquaAthena]

That was my assumption.

 

[Idadunno]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

Odd that people do not fear people they piss off online using hack gear.

 

[Howey]

Apparently some people can't even follow simple rules on Internet forums.

 

[Mad Scientist]

people, like the first person to reply to this thread for instance, feel secure behind their anonymous online identity. That allows them to puff their chests up, when, in reality, they are bashful basement dwellers/chicken hawks for the most part.

Look at the usual suspects who actually thanked an ad hom in the CDZ :

I HAD actually written a nasty flame but then realized this is in the Clean Zone (sh*t!).

And besides, isn't the Thread Title kinda' asking for it?

So, why write a nasty flame?

Why not address the questions the op/ed poses?

Seriously.

Why do people read any legit question or idea and then flame it?

There's got to be some sort of gratification in behaving badly on line.

I almost said, "... behaving badly in public" but of course, in a way, this is private. No one we know will ever know that we're using really offensive language or attacking people we don't even know.

You haven't met anyone IRL that you just don't take seriously? Ever? For ANYTHING?

You, Luddy, are an Internet Poster who, unless he can explain himself, I just dismiss out of hand. Yes, sometimes you make sense but it's not often. You USUALLY just deliver flames though yer not as bad as rdean and FrancoWTF.

And sometimes you START a thread making sense then degrade to flames and stupidity, you can't help yerself. I know this and I treat you accordingly. It's just the way it is.

 

[guno]

Why People Are Such Assholes on the Internet

Why People Are Such Assholes on the Internet


Anyone who has spent a significant amount of time on internet message boards, chatrooms, or comment sections has, at some point:

Had their political views compared to that of Hitler’s.
Had their sexual orientation, sexual experience or sexual prowess challenged or ridiculed.
Suffered from threats of physical violence, both against themselves and their mothers.
Had sarcastic cat pictures posted to make fun of them.

The internet has a way of bringing out the worst in people. You may think that the internet simply allows people to say what they were already thinking anyway. But I disagree. It goes further than that. It’s not that people were already thinking these things but never had the courage to say them in person.

There’s something about the internet that warps our perceptions of one another.

At the same link -

How The Internet Warps Perception

Why does this happen? Why do slight and insignificant differences in opinion become uncrossable ideological chasms online? What is it about this mode of communication that causes everyone else to sound so much like Hitler?

What does this mean for culture?

Freud made the argument that for society to exist, man’s worst impulses — violence, selfishness, inappropriate sexuality — must be kept in check. The internet is possibly the first mechanism in human history that allows society to not only exist, but thrive, by removing the need for self-censorship. With no consequences and less efficient communication, people are rewarded for shock value of what they say as much as the content and meaning.

Its a short op/ed, interesting and well worth our consideration and be sure to watch the video.

Thinking about the thread about the child throwing a fit because he couldn't have the food he wanted, I sometimes think the biggest different between adults and children is that little kids get to do what we sometimes wish we could.

What y'all think?

It's the Anonymity factor, plus fear of change and fear of the other

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I HAD actually written a nasty flame but then realized this is in the Clean Zone (sh*t!).

And besides, isn't the Thread Title kinda' asking for it?

So, why write a nasty flame?

Why not address the questions the op/ed poses?

Seriously.

Why do people read any legit question or idea and then flame it?

There's got to be some sort of gratification in behaving badly on line.

I almost said, "... behaving badly in public" but of course, in a way, this is private. No one we know will ever know that we're using really offensive language or attacking people we don't even know.

You haven't met anyone IRL that you just don't take seriously? Ever? For ANYTHING?

You, Luddy, are an Internet Poster who, unless he can explain himself, I just dismiss out of hand. Yes, sometimes you make sense but it's not often. You USUALLY just deliver flames though yer not as bad as rdean and FrancoWTF.

And sometimes you START a thread making sense then degrade to flames and stupidity, you can't help yerself. I know this and I treat you accordingly. It's just the way it is.

I feel exactly the same way about you and usually just skip over your posts.

Most of the time, I would rather scroll past than debase myself by using foul language and making a fool of myself.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

From the link:

Freud made the argument that for society to exist, man’s worst impulses — violence, selfishness, inappropriate sexuality — must be kept in check. The internet is possibly the first mechanism in human history that allows society to not only exist, but thrive, by removing the need for self-censorship. With no consequences and less efficient communication, people are rewarded for shock value of what they say as much as the content and meaning.

Although this opens up more possibilities for thought and communication and has led to rapid social changes all over the world, it brings new challenges with it as well.

Already, internet culture seems to be adapting. New social functions are being labelled and understood. Trolls pick fights unnecessarily. Memes are ways for people to share laughter about topics which are sometimes taken too seriously. Social media allows us to negotiate the meaning of a swarm of ideas in a short amount of time.

But at the same time, we’re all exposed to more dialog and more people’s thoughts than at any other point in history. While it’s good that human communication has achieved infinite capacity, as individuals we must also adapt to these new realities. We must begin accepting responsibility for how we react to what we read. We have to accept that we will always be offended by somebody, in some way, and sometimes live with it.

That’s the hidden cost of the combination of free speech and limitless capacity for communication: more assholes.

And while the internet grants us all the right to communicate whatever we want, as much as we want, we must armor ourselves to the id of humanity. We must teach ourselves to be a little more resilient, a little more patient, a little less judgmental. And understand that that nitwit asshole on the other side of the screen is sometimes the same person you’d be happy to have a beer with in person.

I submit that the only way for this to happen is for moderators/admin/board owner to enforce stricter rules.

But, the posters also have to want it.

 

[whitehall]

Notice it's usually the left that complains about being slurred or insulted or that the president has been maligned? How short do our memories have to be if we can't remember the antics of Cindy Sheehan's anti-war protesters who were all over the place shouting obscenities and hanging effigy dummies of depicting the president. All of a sudden the protesters faded away after Obama was elected. How about the Occupy Wall Street degenerates who assaulted people, disrupted commerce and occupied public property? The problem for the left is that they have lost the ability to articulate an argument (if they ever had it) and they have to search left wing blog sites for crazy ideas made up by somebody else. The Obama administration can't be defended so the left wing whines about being insulted on the internet. It's an old trick.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original threa) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

I don't say anything behind anyone's back, I wouldn't say to their face.

That's easy to say, while sitting at your computer.



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[PoliticalTorch]

Why People Are Such Assholes on the Internet

What y'all think?

That is quite true, many are as nasty as their convoluted thinking allows them to be. In fact, just recently I had an exchange of words (amicable) with another person who was trying to convince me to keep quiet about things I believe in. I told that individual that this message board is open to everyone with whatever belief they have and that they have a right to post their stories and/or opinions except for the fact that I personally do not enjoy reading the abusive and crass language used as that is totally uncalled for.

I took it as an attempt to Censor my viewpoints thereby allowing only his and those in his group to be posted. But that is not the way it works. We have already had someone attempt to cut off conversation with regard to LGBT issues and place them in a separate forum or category that could only serve to cause further divisions on this message board. But I find it curious that they did not suggest that their own hateful speech and beliefs also needs to receive a different category and forum to be placed under such as "The RW Group."

So yes, the Internet certainly brings out the worst in people but they never seem to find fault in what they themselves are saying and will criticize the opposing side for whatever is posted no matter what it may be. When that happens the Internet as we know it fails to function with its intended purpose which is to be open to all who can espouse a thought in a civil manner. There are always two sides to an issue and again as long as discussions and/or debates are kept civil and orderly and bad language is kept off or to a bare minimum if indeed it must be used at all, we could have some pretty fruitful discussions.

But no one should be forced to stop posting what they firmly believe in with the fear that they would be offending someone because if a person does not have the outright sense to TUNE OUT a posting or when they see a certain person's name on it and can read the subject title if they find that it won't be agreeable unto them then they can simply place it under IGNORE but they do not need to become abusive about it. That is why that IGNORE button is available to all. That would solve the problem. A person does not need to go out of their way to become offended just to have the excuse to turn around and complain about it, become abusive, and worse. That is totally uncalled for and can only shine a bad light on the individual doing it and let all others know of the poor caliber of the person.

Thank you for bringing this article forth that should serve as a good reminder to all to simply allow for other viewpoints and opinions without wanting to be 'king of the hill' which only makes the person look like a bully and no one likes a bully. We should all be able to post in peace without having to turn to the moderator or administrator each time due to another person's questionable content and language and belligerent conduct regarding our posts. We should always be able to post political items and those of a GLBT/LGBT nature without unnecessary promptings to remove such items or to cease posting them. That is not the American way. Russia does it, China does it and other countries but we are not they. We are America where we have the First Amendment that allows us to espouse our viewpoints openly and freely always and without duress of any kind.

Having civil and cordial discussions always works best for most people and allows for one to agree to disagree with others while also maintaining an amicable tone on this message board that will make others want to come back and post more items rather than to serve only to disappointingly drive them away.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original threa) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

I don't say anything behind anyone's back, I wouldn't say to their face.

Do you use that kind of language in real life? Toward people just because you disagree with them or don't like them? Do you call women the 'c' word to their face just because you don't like them or what they say? Do you call blacks the 'n' word to their face just because you can?

I don't actually pay much attention to your posts, but I don't remember them being like that, so maybe this situation doesn't apply to you as much as it does to others.

I seriously doubt that any of these silly willie's use the "C" word, or the "N" word in public. And if they are that much of a bad a$$, then why are they bullying online, safely behind their computer? IMO, bullying online is the result of low self esteem.


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[Delta4Embassy]

I don't use those words online let alone in public. Admit I'm often thinking them but that's because 40 years of television has warped my wittle mind.