What New Orleans has that you do not

Discussion in 'Politics' started by SpidermanTuba, May 8, 2010.

  1. SpidermanTuba
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    SpidermanTuba BANNED

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    I'm going to start off this post being fair...

    by pointing out what NOLA does not have.

    We don't have the best public school system ...
    We don't have the lowest crime rate...
    We don't have the Olive Garden...
    We have less than 1 Starbucks per 100,000 residents...
    We don't have pristine ski slopes...


    Now I will tell you what we do have that you don't...

    Freedom-
    I can walk to the store, buy a beer, crack it open, and drink it on the way home - and I don't live in the boonies, I live in the city.

    Brass Bands-
    A couple of weeks ago on esplanade they had a triatholon going down one lane and a 2nd line parade going down the other. You may have a triatholon where you live, but you don't have 2nd line brass bands, and you certainly don't have 2nd line brass bands and a triatholon sharing the same street. And you won't get this kind of music anywhere else in the world - unless you're fortunate to have a New Orleans band coming through.


    Jazz Funerals-
    We have jazz funerals at any time in any place. I woke up a couple of weeks ago to one going down my street, a herse, a band, and 20 mourners, very small. They played funeral music on my street corner for 30 minutes. You will never wake up to something like that because they do not have them where you live.


    Food-
    If you want to go out for a good meal, you have to actually decide where you want to go. We can take the phone book, throw a dart at the restaurant section, and be guaranteed culinary delight.

    No snow-
    Though this may not apply so some of my fellow southerners - snow is not a problem here. You will never have to wake up in the morning, put on 58263 layers of clothes, and trudge out to the car, slipping on the ice cracking your head on the way, to get the snow off the windshield and pray she starts. Other New Orleanians may not appreciate the lack of snow - but having lived in places where it snows - I do. snow sucks.

    Mardi Gras Indians-
    You don't have Mardi Gras Indians. We do. They exist nowhere in the Universe but here. If you wanna see one, you'll have to get up early Mardi Gras day. Or check them out St. Joseph's day or Super Sunday. Or look at my avatar.

    Mardi Gras-
    Speaking of Mardi Gras Indians - if you're not in Louisiana, you don't have Mardi Gras. Unless you in Mobile, in which case, you have a sucky Mardi Gras (don't mean to rag on Mobile, its actually a great place, but their Mardi Gras pales in comparison). I'm sure you have plenty of holidays that act as pretenses to having a good time - 4th of July, Thanksgiving, etc. We have those, too. But we have a holiday that is dedicated to good times, without pretense or excuse - you don't.

    Pride-
    Most of the people where you live are trying as hard as fuck to move away - people where we live will do anything they can to stay here. Its called pride.

    NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

    To those of you who just hate for hate's sake - fuck you , suck on it, we have more fun than you.

    To the rest of you - if you want to see something UNIQUELY AMERICAN - that you will get nowhere else in the world - come to New Orleans. I can help you see it - provide advice on what to do in the city, and if the timing is right, I will be your personal guide. Email me at spidermantuba@gmail.com

    P.S. - my entire state has shit you will never see where you live. New Orleans is just the most prominent example. You won't see Mamou Mari Gras in New Orleans, and unless you live in Acadiana - you won't see it where you live, either.
     
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    Last edited: May 8, 2010
  2. Skull Pilot
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    Skull Pilot Platinum Member

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    I can sip a beer while I'm driving home from the liquor store. So what?

    A bunch of horns and tubas making a racket. yeah great. not.


    If a bunch of idiots were playing funeral dirges out side my window while I was sleeping, they'd all get an ass full of rock salt courtesy of my 12 guage.

    There is great food all over the place. you certainly do not have the market cornered there

    No snow just 95 degree weather with 90% humidity.

    yeah great a bunch of drunk idiots packed cheek to jowl and pissing in the streets. Sounds like a great time.

    How do you know most people are trying to get away from where they live?

    I'm not. In fact I am going to be building a new house next year I have 6 acres bordered by conservation land which means no neighbors within 400 yards on 3 sides.





    I highly doubt that.

    I'd rather spend my time in the mountains than a swamp.
     
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  3. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    Who gives a shit?
     
  4. Madeline
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    Madeline BANNED

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    :clap2:

    I'm in Cleveland, Spiderman Tuba. Donca just feel mah pain?

    Can I stay over at your house for a long weekend? I need beads...and mebbe a little sex?

    *Winks*
     
  5. Toro
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    Toro Diamond Member

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    I love New Orleans. Its one of my favourite cities anywhere.
     
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  6. midcan5
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    midcan5 liberal / progressive

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    New Orleans has personality. One of our favorite trips was the Sky line drive, west to Nashville and Memphis, and then down the real backroads of Mississippi to N'awlins. Elvis and shacks, People on their porches waving to these gawkers just enjoying the view. Home made eating in small business America. America at her most uniquely perplexing. Love that rice! And the open road, my heaven is a Chevy and the back road. 'Drove my Chevy to the levee.....
     
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  7. rightwinger
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    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    You forgot to mention the Saints!

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Mr Clean
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    Mr Clean Gold Member

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    It's also one of the few Cracker-Free zones in the South.
     
  9. Douger
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    Douger BANNED

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    Don't sweat it Madi. You're one step above DEEEtroit.
     
  10. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    me, i love new orleans....the french quarter....st louis cemetaries.....i love it...cant afford to live there however..the french quarter is expensive
     
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