What is your favorite story from the Bible?

[Taz]

One of my fave stories is about the virgin birth, because Jesus would have had a really hard time breaking through his mom's hymen. I like to sit back and try to imagine that.

Maybe it was an anal birth?

I always thought that her and Joseph (or someone else) must have had anal sex with Mary and that cum must have dribbled into her snatch for it to be a real virgin birth. It's the only plausible explanation.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

One of my fave stories is about the virgin birth, because Jesus would have had a really hard time breaking through his mom's hymen. I like to sit back and try to imagine that.

Maybe it was an anal birth?

I always thought that her and Joseph (or someone else) must have had anal sex with Mary and that cum must have dribbled into her snatch for it to be a real virgin birth. It's the only plausible explanation.

It just seems amazing that anyone bought her story. Jesus might have been a conman, but he didnt even have to be a very good one. The setup was in place...he could have been pulling shekels out from behind people's ears, and they would have been prostrate on the floor, singing his praises.

 

[Natural Citizen]

Samson.

 

[Indeependent]

Thanks for proving once again you've never read the Bible...moron.
Do you ever tire of embarrassing yourself?

God told Adam not to bang the girl. When he did, god threw them out of Eden. That's pretty fucking gay.

What are you talking about?
Is that the Bible by Woody Allen?

It's basically the story and you know it.

Your ignorance is forever recorded.

Because believing in an invisible superbeing who lives in another dimension and who wants you to follow a book, and YOU DO IT, isn't?

God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension.
And you still can't back up anything.

 

[Taz]

God told Adam not to bang the girl. When he did, god threw them out of Eden. That's pretty fucking gay.

What are you talking about?
Is that the Bible by Woody Allen?

It's basically the story and you know it.

Your ignorance is forever recorded.

Because believing in an invisible superbeing who lives in another dimension and who wants you to follow a book, and YOU DO IT, isn't?

God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension.
And you still can't back up anything.

Neither can you back anything up, that's why I'm agnostic.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

God told Adam not to bang the girl. When he did, god threw them out of Eden. That's pretty fucking gay.

What are you talking about?
Is that the Bible by Woody Allen?

It's basically the story and you know it.

Your ignorance is forever recorded.

Because believing in an invisible superbeing who lives in another dimension and who wants you to follow a book, and YOU DO IT, isn't?

God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension.
And you still can't back up anything.

"God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension."

Shaman Indeependent has spoken! Heed his words, all he who value your eternal souls!

*rolls eyes*

Get that goofy voodoo out of here, son.

 

[Syriusly]

I have to say my favorite is a toss up between The Book of Ezekiel and Revelations.

Love for Enemies
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

lol you don't have any idea what those verses mean.

Actually I do. Unlike the faux Christians who cherry pick from the Bible they pretend like they admire- I actually read the Bible- and I openly cherry pick the wisdom I find there.

Love thy neighbor is a powerful message that contards like you ignore. Love thy enemy is a complex, deep passage that Jesus acknowledges is really hard to do.

Contards like you will never understand Jesus's wisdom. Shame.

 

[Indeependent]

What are you talking about?
Is that the Bible by Woody Allen?

It's basically the story and you know it.

Your ignorance is forever recorded.

Because believing in an invisible superbeing who lives in another dimension and who wants you to follow a book, and YOU DO IT, isn't?

God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension.
And you still can't back up anything.

Neither can you back anything up, that's why I'm agnostic.

I didn't have to back anything up as I wasn't the idiot who initiated this "discussion".

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

It's basically the story and you know it.

Your ignorance is forever recorded.

Because believing in an invisible superbeing who lives in another dimension and who wants you to follow a book, and YOU DO IT, isn't?

God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension.
And you still can't back up anything.

Neither can you back anything up, that's why I'm agnostic.

I didn't have to back anything up as I wasn't the idiot who initiated this "discussion".

Hear ye, hear ye! Shaman Indeependent is not bound by your silly rules of reason or standards of honesty!

 

[kiwiman127]

My favorite Bible story, is a short story.
"And the nations were angry; and Thy wrath is come, and the time of the dead, that they should be judged, and that Thou shouldest give reward unto Thy servants the prophets, and to the saints and them that fear Thy name, small and great, and shouldest destroy them that destroy the earth.”
REVELATION 11:18

 

[Taz]

It's basically the story and you know it.

Your ignorance is forever recorded.

Because believing in an invisible superbeing who lives in another dimension and who wants you to follow a book, and YOU DO IT, isn't?

God doesn't live in a dimension.
God is the dimension.
And you still can't back up anything.

Neither can you back anything up, that's why I'm agnostic.

I didn't have to back anything up as I wasn't the idiot who initiated this "discussion".

You CAN'T back up anything including "god is the dimension". Go ahead, we'll wait.

 

[hobelim]

The bible has yet to prove ANY of the big things it claims.

So do meteorologist...they seem to suck at anything outside of a 24 hour window.
As for the Temple, there's plenty being found in those digs.

My next issue is how the most literate group of people on Earth were fooled into believing all this nonsense.

So you agree that the bible can't prove anything. Good for you. So only the Torah is provable? Or nothing is provable and you live in a fantasy world?

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

 

[Indeependent]

So do meteorologist...they seem to suck at anything outside of a 24 hour window.
As for the Temple, there's plenty being found in those digs.

My next issue is how the most literate group of people on Earth were fooled into believing all this nonsense.

So you agree that the bible can't prove anything. Good for you. So only the Torah is provable? Or nothing is provable and you live in a fantasy world?

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

So you missed the 2 large lights becoming 1 large light and 1 small lights.
You missed God cursing the Earth on Adam's account.
Do you ever read anything?

 

[hobelim]

So you agree that the bible can't prove anything. Good for you. So only the Torah is provable? Or nothing is provable and you live in a fantasy world?

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

So you missed the 2 large lights becoming 1 large light and 1 small lights.
You missed God cursing the Earth on Adam's account.
Do you ever read anything?

Right. two lights. One to rule the day and the lesser to rule the night.

There are also at least two ways to interpret any given law.

The literal letter of the law or the subjects of the law that remain hidden from you, only alluded to by the words used which are not necessarily directly connected to their literal meanings/

Think about it.

If the way that the so called orthodox have always followed the law since the death of Moses was the right way there would have been no need for any messiah 'to convey all of gods commands" and teach the righteous application of the law which is the only way that reveals wisdom from God and fulfills the promise of life.

There is no wisdom to be found in Kosher law except in the deeper implications. In fact one cannot conform to a literal interpretation of the command to refrain from the flesh of unclean creatures that do not ruminate without violating the deeper implications of the exact same law. Thats the revelation of Jesus. Thats the message of the NT that you have dismissed as incomprehensible nonsense to your shame. The wrong way to follow the law has been obsolete for the past 2000 years. Thats the way the cookie crumbles.


If you were true to your professed dedication you would rejoice that the way to eternal life is being made clear, free yourself from the bondage of false religion and the captivity of the Nachash by selling off all of the garbage that you have invested in , and then make a conscious and deliberate choice to conform to the greater light that rules the day.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

So do meteorologist...they seem to suck at anything outside of a 24 hour window.
As for the Temple, there's plenty being found in those digs.

My next issue is how the most literate group of people on Earth were fooled into believing all this nonsense.

So you agree that the bible can't prove anything. Good for you. So only the Torah is provable? Or nothing is provable and you live in a fantasy world?

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

"The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be."

Uh...pretty sure we know for a fact that's not true...

 

[hobelim]

So you agree that the bible can't prove anything. Good for you. So only the Torah is provable? Or nothing is provable and you live in a fantasy world?

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

"The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be."

Uh...pretty sure we know for a fact that's not true...

lol...

In case you really didn't understand the context and for the remote possibility that you are not just being an asshole, you should notice that what I said was in response to the assertion that the earth was in some sort of higher level of reality or mythical paradise called Eden where serpents talked and people never died before Adam ate the forbidden fruit, cursed the earth, and ruined it for everyone.....lol

I wasn't referring to geology..Do you think there ever was a time on earth when serpents could talk? What are the odds that serpents will converse with human beings in human language in the future? Are serpents chatty now?

Are you really that dense?


BTW,

How many of you are there?

 

[zaangalewa]

... You are a moron...everything Hitler did was legal. ...

Sorry: But murder for example - specially mass murder - never was legal in Germany. Also not under Hitler. Same with torture and lots of other crimes of Nazis.

It was legal.

What did you not understand what I said to you? Nearly nothing was legal what the Nazis did. The Nazis lived in a totally surreal world, which they created without any contact to reality or spirituality. They lived only in the nightmares of Hitler. The only reason for the existence of the Nazis was to make Hitler famous. And he was successful. No one is able to forget this damned asshole any longer. Hitler is the worst mass-murderer of all times. So what do you try to speak about, stranger?

 

[Taz]

So you agree that the bible can't prove anything. Good for you. So only the Torah is provable? Or nothing is provable and you live in a fantasy world?

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

So you missed the 2 large lights becoming 1 large light and 1 small lights.
You missed God cursing the Earth on Adam's account.
Do you ever read anything?

Just non-fiction.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

Please tell me how this discussion started.
You stated the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales.
In asked you to prove your statement starting from Genesis 1:1.
After several days and tons of your ad hominems I'm still waiting.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'



There. Proof of a fairy tale, unless you believe that serpents can talk, but then that would be proof that you are out of your mind.

You believe God created existence yet you cannot accept that the world existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass than after the trespass.
God cursed the Earth and the Nachash and Adam and Eve and you scoff.

The earth existed on a higher plane of existence prior to the trespass? Um, no. You are still wandering in the wilderness, east of Eden. The way to the tree of life still remains hidden from you. Don't argue with me. No one know better than you that you do not understand. Don;t get angry at me. God alone either grants or denies comprehension.

The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be.

What was cursed was the mind of man and his predilection to pervert his perception of reality and rebel against the way things actually are.


The story of the 'trespass' is a teaching and a warning to children about the real dangers of losing your sanity for life by failing to stand guard over the purity of your own mind and defiling and contaminating the seat of your conscious existence with the specious falsehoods of men inspired by demons


The teaching isn't really that deep or mysterious.

The expressed will of God in the story is to condemn the Nachash, a religious deceiver, as the lowest form of human life , more accursed than all the wild beasts of the field.. Meanwhile back on earth, religious deceivers are perceived and celebrated as enlightened and dedicated holy men. lol....

When people decide to conform to the will of God on earth as it is in heaven, there will no longer be any curse.

but not until then...

"The world has always been the same. The same then as it is now and the same now as it will always be."

Uh...pretty sure we know for a fact that's not true...

lol...

In case you really didn't understand the context and for the remote possibility that you are not just being an asshole, you should notice that what I said was in response to the assertion that the earth was in some sort of higher level of reality or mythical paradise called Eden where serpents talked and people never died before Adam ate the forbidden fruit, cursed the earth, and ruined it for everyone.....lol

I wasn't referring to geology..Do you think there ever was a time on earth when serpents could talk? What are the odds that serpents will converse with human beings in human language in the future? Are serpents chatty now?

Are you really that dense?


BTW,

How many of you are there?

What you meant is that physical laws are immutable, not that the planet "always has been and will always be the same", which is what you actually said. You words were chosen poorly, and your poorly articulated your thoughts. that is your error, and nobody else's.

 

[Picaro]

Actually I do. Unlike the faux Christians who cherry pick from the Bible they pretend like they admire- I actually read the Bible- and I openly cherry pick the wisdom I find there.

Lol nonsense as usual; you have no idea what those verses you run around quoting out of context mean, you just read them being cited out of context from some other tard and think you're being clever here. You aren't, and lacking any intellectual or moral sensibility, you can't explain what they mean, so you assume they mean Christians have to roll over for every degenerate demand some sicko makes of them.

Love thy neighbor is a powerful message that contards like you ignore. Love thy enemy is a complex, deep passage that Jesus acknowledges is really hard to do.

I'm a liberal, actually, something else you have zero clue about, and you have no idea what 'the message' is, but insist on trying to school everybody on your particular false interpretation means.

Contards like you will never understand Jesus's wisdom. Shame.

Mentally ill deviants like yourself will never understand you aren't any good at spin and lying and can't school Christians, Jews, or anybody else on their own theologies, much less make any sense of what Jesus or any of the Bible is saying. You're just silly and shallow, is all.