What Is It With Men?

[Anachronism]

I don't think men are terrible. And I particularly don't think MY men are terrible. They're generous, loving, supportive, and a lot of fun to be around . . . but they can't seem to take direction without a half-hour debate about it.

So mostly, I'm just wondering if this is a univeral thing attached to the Y chromosome, or if mine are just weird.

It is pretty much a Universal thing with guys; and I can even explain why it is....

Men are really very simple creatures. If you put us in charge of doing something, without having laid out ALL of the Ground Rules, Requirements, and Limitations ahead of time, we actually believe that WE are being put in charge of that particular activity.

This is especially true with driving. You have placed us at the helm of the vessel. We think we're the Captain of the ship. What you REALLY need to do is before even walking out of the house make it EXCEPTIONALLY CLEAR that they are the Designated Cab Driver for the day, NOT the Captain of the ship. This needs to be done at the very beginning of the conversation, so there can be no misinterpretation of intent or motive.

"I need you to take me to do a couple errands this afternoon. We're going to X, then Y, then Z."

not

"Honey would you mind coming with me to run a couple of errands downtown this afternoon."

It's really about showing them Who is in charge right off the bat. Otherwise you get a Topping from the bottom issue. Now before you laugh too hard, you women tend to do it in other situations so don't laugh too much.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I don't think men are terrible. And I particularly don't think MY men are terrible. They're generous, loving, supportive, and a lot of fun to be around . . . but they can't seem to take direction without a half-hour debate about it.

So mostly, I'm just wondering if this is a univeral thing attached to the Y chromosome, or if mine are just weird.

It is pretty much a Universal thing with guys; and I can even explain why it is....

Men are really very simple creatures. If you put us in charge of doing something, without having laid out ALL of the Ground Rules, Requirements, and Limitations ahead of time, we actually believe that WE are being put in charge of that particular activity.

This is especially true with driving. You have placed us at the helm of the vessel. We think we're the Captain of the ship. What you REALLY need to do is before even walking out of the house make it EXCEPTIONALLY CLEAR that they are the Designated Cab Driver for the day, NOT the Captain of the ship. This needs to be done at the very beginning of the conversation, so there can be no misinterpretation of intent or motive.

"I need you to take me to do a couple errands this afternoon. We're going to X, then Y, then Z."

not

"Honey would you mind coming with me to run a couple of errands downtown this afternoon."

It's really about showing them Who is in charge right off the bat. Otherwise you get a Topping from the bottom issue. Now before you laugh too hard, you women tend to do it in other situations so don't laugh too much.

My dear, you don't understand. The problem comes up EXACTLY when I say, "We're going to do X, then Y, then Z." THAT is the point where they either start debating with me why it would be better to do Y, then Z, then maybe cram A in there, and THEN do X. That, or they just try to outthink me and head where they think we should go without discussing it.

If I actually just say, "Honey, would you mind coming with me, and could you drive, because I don't feel like it", I probably don't care what order we do it in. That's what I don't understand: if I'm giving clear, chronological instructions, WHY do they assume I haven't thought it through, or assume that they can come up with a better plan?

Oh, for the record, the reason I wasn't driving that day was because he had picked me up, and was already behind the wheel.

 

[Anachronism]

My dear, you don't understand. The problem comes up EXACTLY when I say, "We're going to do X, then Y, then Z." THAT is the point where they either start debating with me why it would be better to do Y, then Z, then maybe cram A in there, and THEN do X. That, or they just try to outthink me and head where they think we should go without discussing it.

See, I'm talking long before there is even a car involved. Then again, I tend to be one of those people who plans stuff out two or three days ahead of time, so the idea that you would decide to do something like that on the spur of the moment is rather foreign to me. What I'm suggesting is that this "conversation" takes place well ahead of time, and that you make it very clear that their opinion in the matter has absolutely no bearing on the topic.

If I actually just say, "Honey, would you mind coming with me, and could you drive, because I don't feel like it", I probably don't care what order we do it in. That's what I don't understand: if I'm giving clear, chronological instructions, WHY do they assume I haven't thought it through, or assume that they can come up with a better plan?

Because they're behind the wheel. They are the Captain of the ship. It's a Male thing, you wouldn't understand it any more than I can comprehend the color teal. It's either Blue or Green. There's nothing inbetween.

Oh, for the record, the reason I wasn't driving that day was because he had picked me up, and was already behind the wheel.

Then unfortunately you set yourself up for disaster, intentionally or not.