Relationship Discussions Thread

[dmp]

I think Joz was talking about keeeping sex alive in a marriage----I just don't think simple chemistry will do it and if one partner can't do without (or just masturbate if need be ) then a LOT of things need talking about.

Chemistry is exactly what can keep a marriage sex-life alive; and it's far from simple. It's an attraction to the 'soul' of the other person...

 

[Mr. P]

Chemistry is exactly what can keep a marriage sex-life alive; and it's far from simple. It's an attraction to the 'soul' of the other person...

Ya think? Chemistry does it all?

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Woman also like their men to not be big pussies. This thread sounds like an episode of "the view". I guess it's sorta cool for men to talk about love, but it also seems faggy.

 

[dmp]

Ya think? Chemistry does it all?

I think you will find a way to disagree with ANYTHING I reply with...so...good luck.

(sigh)


Your counter-points are moving closer and closer to how a liberal debates politics.

"Chemistry can keep a marriage sex-life together"

You read that as:

"Chemistry does everything"

see where the disconnect is? You aren't reading what i'm typing, you're reading what you want to see.

It could be that you've never had real 'chemistry' with a woman? I dunno. I've experienced it, and it was one of the most powerfull things ever...years later (now) i'm STILL talking about it.

Chemistry between a man and a woman is VITAL for a happy, healthy sex life. Sex without 'chemistry' between the couple is barely above masturbation in terms of 'usefullness'.

I'm going to speculate that you will reply to that last section with something like:
"It's impossible to romance and take time with one's mate for sex. Quickies behind the shed can be just as bonding".

So - here's my reply to what I think you may be thinking:

You may not be reading. I'm saying 'Chemistry' is a bond that brings people together...and when one has chemistry with the person one has sex with, things are amazing; I'd argue w/o chemistry, one would never GET the quickies.

 

[dmp]

Woman also like their men to not be big pussies. This thread sounds like an episode of "the view". I guess it's sorta cool for men to talk about love, but it also seems faggy.

wow.

 

[Joz]

with all due respect Joz , I think you give sex too much priority in the myriad of things involved in relationships. I would much rather have a relationship based on friendship and sharing .

Well, there you have it. Any woman who wants a non-sexual relationship can contact dillo.

YES! THIS IS THE BASIS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
But when you decide that the chemistry is there to take this wonderous relationship to the next level, SEX in a catalyst. Why can't you see that this is the way we were designed. I'm not saying this is the be all end all to a relationship. All I have said it is important for a relationship to be healthy.

If you cannot communicate to your partner you have a very sad relationship. Period. I think that's the reason why sex falls to the wayside. We're too afraid to talk to the other person. We just hope things will get better. But they don't. Men fall into this category far more than women.

You act like I spend my days copulating like a rabbit. As nice as that sounds, that is far from the way things are. But I do know the importance of it in my relationship. I get a thrill when MM & I are out & he reaches over & gives me a pat while some stranger is talking to him. Or he puts his arm around me or winks at me when he's getting up on stage. At that moment, he's won my heart all over again.

 

[dmp]

sometimes...I think I shoulda been a woman. I love it as well, when my wife goes out of her way to acknowledge me with a hug, or a pat, or a kiss, or even a wink.

 

[Nienna]

wow.

yeah, I thought so too -=d=-!



I can see what he was saying, and agree with it to a point. Perhaps he just expresses himself rather forcefully?

 

[Shattered]

:teeth:

 

[Joz]

sometimes...I think I shoulda been a woman.

Nah, I don't think so. But for a man you do seem to understand that sex is not just about physical gratification.

I love it as well, when my wife goes out of her way to acknowledge me with a hug, or a pat, or a kiss, or even a wink.

We all want that acknowlegement; that our mate is thinking about us, wanting to touch us, let us know we are cared about.

 

[Joz]

Woman also like their men to not be big pussies. This thread sounds like an episode of "the view". I guess it's sorta cool for men to talk about love, but it also seems faggy.

I don't expect you to call up a bunch of your buddies, go out for a beer, and talk about whether you & your mate is getting it on. But this does allow you , that if you have concerns, that you can talk about it without feeling "faggy". I don't think this qualifies any of the men as pussies.

 

[dmp]

sex is not just about physical gratification.

Bingo. Sex bonds people together - even the one-nighters, like John likes

 

[Nienna]

sometimes...I think I shoulda been a woman. I love it as well, when my wife goes out of her way to acknowledge me with a hug, or a pat, or a kiss, or even a wink.

I read a book called the Five Love Languages by Gary Smalley. -=d=-, it seems like your strongest love language is physical touch. Mine too.

Here are the Five, in case anyone is interested...

Physical Touch Hugs, kisses, sex, any kind of touching
Words of Praise Saying nice things, love letters
Acts of Service Mending a shirt, taking out the trash, going out of your way to do it for the other person
GiftsSpend time picking it out, wrapping it, presenting it in a special way
Quality Time Special time where all the attention is focused on the other person, eye contact

All people need all five, but one or two usually "speak" louder to an individual. A person may "speak" one love language, but want to receive a different language.

Just a bite from my vault of useless knowledge!

 

[Joz]

Bingo. Sex bonds people together - even the one-nighters, like John likes

Yes, you leave a part of your soul with that person. If you waste it, by the time you find the right person, you have nothing left to give.

 

[5stringJeff]

I read a book called the Five Love Languages by Gary Smalley. -=d=-, it seems like your strongest love language is physical touch. Mine too.

Here are the Five, in case anyone is interested...

Physical Touch Hugs, kisses, sex, any kind of touching
Words of Praise Saying nice things, love letters
Acts of Service Mending a shirt, taking out the trash, going out of your way to do it for the other person
GiftsSpend time picking it out, wrapping it, presenting it in a special way
Quality Time Special time where all the attention is focused on the other person, eye contact

All people need all five, but one or two usually "speak" louder to an individual. A person may "speak" one love language, but want to receive a different language.

Just a bite from my vault of useless knowledge!

An excellent book! Mine is touch, my wife's is time.

 

[dmp]

I read a book called the Five Love Languages by Gary Smalley. -=d=-, it seems like your strongest love language is physical touch. Mine too.

Here are the Five, in case anyone is interested...

Physical Touch Hugs, kisses, sex, any kind of touching
Words of Praise Saying nice things, love letters
Acts of Service Mending a shirt, taking out the trash, going out of your way to do it for the other person
GiftsSpend time picking it out, wrapping it, presenting it in a special way
Quality Time Special time where all the attention is focused on the other person, eye contact

All people need all five, but one or two usually "speak" louder to an individual. A person may "speak" one love language, but want to receive a different language.

Just a bite from my vault of useless knowledge!

Funny - gop_Jeff reccomended that book to me a week or so ago. Nice
I think I'm Physical Touch, Words of Praise, Gifts,and Quality Time. Acts of Service really doesn't do much for me.


For my wife - she's probably Acts of Service....

 

[Merlin1047]

I don't expect you to call up a bunch of your buddies, go out for a beer, and talk about whether you & your mate is getting it on. But this does allow you , that if you have concerns, that you can talk about it without feeling "faggy". I don't think this qualifies any of the men as pussies.

I suppose that our priorities change somewhat as we age. That fact was brought brutally to light a number of years ago while I was still active in the National Guard.

A bunch of us "senior" pilots were sitting around in the briefing room of the flight facility hoping that no one would take a notion that we ought to go fly or something equally ridiculous. Several junior birdmen came through hoping to talk one of us into getting off our asses to go fly with them. (We called them "sky sharks" since they were always bugging us to go fly) They needed a pilot in command since they were not yet qualified as such. We blew them all off since we were busy impressing each other with our war stories.

Exasperated, one of the sky sharks blurted "You know what the difference is between us young guys and all you old farts?" We all gave him our attention, because we intended to make mincemeat out of the impertinent pup. He continued "Us young guys come in and talk about how great the sex was last night. You old bastards sit around and talk about how great that last shit you took was!"

We didn't say a word. When they're right, they're right.

But to stay on topic - some folks have poo-pooed (no pun) the need for chemistry and passion in a marriage. I maintain that is a key element. Without an emotional connection, sex is simply a utilitarian act. Pretty much like that trip to the toilet.

 

[dmp]

Without an emotional connection, sex is simply a utilitarian act. Pretty much like that trip to the toilet.

No shit.



hehe...

 

[Joz]

.....
Here are the Five, in case anyone is interested...
Physical Touch Hugs, kisses, sex, any kind of touching
Words of Praise Saying nice things, love letters
Acts of Service Mending a shirt, taking out the trash, going out of your way to do it for the other person
GiftsSpend time picking it out, wrapping it, presenting it in a special way
Quality Time Special time where all the attention is focused on the other person, eye contact

All people need all five, but one or two usually "speak" louder to an individual. A person may "speak" one love language, but want to receive a different language.

Thank you mom4. I sometimes feel like the Lone Ranger.
This sounds like a book to help us understand our individual needs. As I understand myself, I think mine are Physical & Quality time, Words, Service, Gifts.

 

[Merlin1047]

I read a book called the Five Love Languages by Gary Smalley. -=d=-, it seems like your strongest love language is physical touch. Mine too.

Here are the Five, in case anyone is interested...

Physical Touch Hugs, kisses, sex, any kind of touching
Words of Praise Saying nice things, love letters
Acts of Service Mending a shirt, taking out the trash, going out of your way to do it for the other person
GiftsSpend time picking it out, wrapping it, presenting it in a special way
Quality Time Special time where all the attention is focused on the other person, eye contact

All people need all five, but one or two usually "speak" louder to an individual. A person may "speak" one love language, but want to receive a different language.

Just a bite from my vault of useless knowledge!

Dang, Mom. That's all well and good as far as it goes, but where's the advice about the hot oil, various battery operated implements and the trapeze????

:teeth: