new to forums..so sad/paranoid

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by sparxinthedark, Apr 1, 2005.

  1. sparxinthedark
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    sparxinthedark Rookie

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    hi, my name's Becka, im 18..im new to these forums.

    i hope i dont anger anyone by this, but it probably will.. i just really need to vent.

    . Society is so messed up and 98% of people dont even see this. They are oblivious (or maybe they are just in on the mission to hurt/break me) I think That our president is pretty much something of a Nazi (and is spying on me!!) Hollywood wont leave me alone. They send these messages out all over magazines, TV, radio, specifically to get me even more paranoid, angry, and to break my spirtits.
    It is all so stupid. THis country! the morals! i cant take it. Just about everyone lives by them and everyone is either Cold-hearted, or is "brain dead"..in a sense, by the poisons and chemicals that the government puts in our food and water.
    No one respects personal boundaries. People walk to close to me, sit too close to me, or touch me, want to shake my hand. Everyone tale-gates me when im out driving. I HATE THIS! it's dangerous and it's very disrespectful of my personal space. Everyone does it. no one even cares anymore. I go the speed limit and obey the laws of the road, but when im not going fast enough for the Jerk behind me, i get my butt tailgated, and then i get flipped off. It's not fair. They look at me like im the opne being the fool! If they want to drive like a friggin moron, then they can at least accept and realize that they are being dangerous and ignorant.

    And then there's all these people in their big, stupid SUV's and hummers (and these are the people who tailgate me the most). this is just the most rediculous thing! they think they own the road or something. They think they can hog all the gas that we are already at a crisis for. And then they drive like complete fools. it's like they think they are some sort of high authority, better then everyone, but it looks to me like they have their head so far stuck up their butts, that they are oblivious! and these people (people with the big, hulking gas-hogs) are the ones with the american flags on their their cars, and stickers that say "god bless america" or some BS like that.
    And then George bush is giving people a price break on these big fat hummers, SUVS, and such! that's just the stupidest thing ever!

    the president and the government send out all these spies to follow me. I cant take it. I see them everywhere i go. These spy cars. I know they are spies. They send me signals with their headlights. They tailgate me too.
    I just moved to a different city, and they are working on installing more tracking devices along the highway so they can track me when i go back and fourth on the highway.
    This government is destroying what was once a beautiful place. It's growing into an even bigger waist land of dumb, robotic people, traffic, buildings, houses, polution, etc. It's so sad.


    I just got out of the hospital again yesturday partly because of these "paranoid delusions" that the doctors like to call them . They diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia, but im sick of everyone telling me that im just delusional. I am just one of the very very few people who really know the truth of what's going on in this messed-up world. I'm not going to fall into oblivion. They are trying to force these meds down my throat so that i will be oblivious and robotic like everyone else. The voices i hear and "possessed" feelings i have are a clue too. Maybe they are just hallucinations and all, but i think that all these people are starting to work their way into my spirit, my body, and break me down. eventually i'll be a zombie too. I have no control, but i have to fight as long as i can.

    I dropped out of school because of alll the paranoia (and other problems i have) i am sick of people. I rarely can stand going out in public. These other teenageres...all they care about is being cool, being popular, if their clothes are cool and expensive enough, if the music they listen to is the same as what all the cool people listen to....it's sickening. It makes me so disgusted to think about it. And even adults. Most adults are something like this too. They never really mature. Only care about things that dont matter. Only cheating their way through life, lying, cruel,manipulative.

    Many people call themselves intelligent, but how can they be intelligent if they havn't matured. If they are cheaters of life? this must be some sick kind of intelligence. no one even knows what im talking about. Everyone thinks they are mature, but most are not. Maybe i'm not either.

    people are so close minded about religion. Im sick of christians trying to force their beliefs down my throat. They can believe what they want, but i wish they'd leave me alone about it, stop telling me i am going to go to hell and such and such. This country is supposedly "free" with freedom of religion. what does that mean because i dont see it? Gay people are discriminated against and of coarse it's mostly to do with religion. George bush is trying to outlaw gay marriage. Abortion will soon be illegal, im sure. No one really has the right to chose anymore.

    ijm sick of talking. I could go on and on, but im sickened. I hate this world. It is so dirty with these people who are so ignorant and oblivious. It is going to end...but that's probably a good thing seeing what this society has become.
    Everyone knows who i am....as the girl who has no power. they read my mind. they poison me.They torture me with all this.

    call me "crazy", ill, schizophrenic if you want, but i wont fall for that one. Maybe in everyone else's eyes, i am "schizophrenic" but to me, this must mean i am quite sane....i am not a robot.

    -becka

    This world..this government is a load of BS, so im giving this post the BS flag.


    :bsflag:
     
  2. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    You should've gone with a row of tinfoil hats: :tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:

    Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that everybody's not out to get you!
     
  3. Shattered
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    **hears Twilight Zone theme**

    I'm sorry to hear that.
     
  4. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    talk about living Mile 'High' ;)

    :D
     
  5. Shattered
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    Who you kiddin? That's called crashing down from a baaaaaaaaaad trip.
     
  6. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    Iodine in salt can help if you don't want to take your medication. What did they have you on, halidol?
     
  7. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    The du undergrond , wounld'nt take him, :mm: :smoke: sent over here, no matter, stay in your twilight zone, and spock will come and save you, I'm sure of it.
     
  8. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    I know exactly what she means, sometimes I feel like people are in the bushes watching me.... or peeking over the fence to see what I am doing in my back yard, then I get my wits about me, remind myself it is just the weed and laugh like mad....
     
  9. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    I hear ya. That used to happen to me all the time, then I quite smoking that shit, and stick to hash. :tng:
     
  10. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    Actually, you sound like one of my best friends, only he became far worse over time. He was originally diagnosed with ADD, then as he became worse and had to be hospitalized, it turned out not to be ADD but schizoprenia that afflicted him all along. He's on medication now, and doing much better.
     

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