I decided to start this thread because this seems to be a subject that keeps getting discussed throughout the board. I also have been PM'd about my "sex on demand" theory. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find that in anything I've ever posted. With that being said, I still hold true to the fact that men need sex for their well being, both mentally & physically. It is the mature man that realizes it's emotional for him also; that's it's better with someone loved. Women need the emotional bond before having sex. She needs to feel understood, appreciated, cared for, in order to express herself in this manner. But women need it physically as well. Sex is an integral part of a relationship. Without it you cannot have a healthy, happy union. Something is amiss if you donot want to share this,(on a regular basis) with your mate. Women withhold sex because a man won't help; or as a punishment. Men won't help because the woman nags or complains. The cycle has to be broken, someone has to make the first move, or nothing will ever change. But each of us feel that if we "give in", we lose power. There are reasons why someone doesn't want to have sex; hormones, childhood abuse, things that need professional help. But you will seek help if you truly love your mate, because you want them to be happy. Illness, stress, moods, kids, all affect libido. But if one is in need, effort should be made by the partner to help. That doesn't always mean intercourse. There is oral & manual stimulation that can have the same pleasing results. I donot believe a woman must drop her drawers the minute a man walks in the door. But I do believe an effort should be made by both partners to co-operate. Should you have sex if you don't feel like it? I don't know. Have I ever? I was married for 21 years.....need I say more? But, I also changed sheets in the middle of the night because a child vomited on them, pushed a car in the ice & snow, sopped up water off the bathroom floor because the toilet overflowed---none of which I wanted to do. In the beginning of a relationship sex is exciting. In fact, the whole relationship is. You want to touch the person, talk with them, plan with them. After awhile the excitement wanes. But in it's place is a deep, heartfelt, committed love; both emotionally & physically, that words cannot express. I wish you each that love.