Post your favorite dog jokes.

[Muhammed]

A dog walks into a bar and says "I cannot see a thing. I'll open this one".

 

[luiza]

Can you explain your joke because I do not understand it .
What was the dog going to open ?
Why ?
How did it get in ?
How did it know it was a bar ?
Are you sure that it is a joke ?

 

[Votto]

So this rancher has his buddy visit him as they strike up a conversation.

Friend: "Mind if I talk to your dog?"

Rancher: "Talk to my dog? You talk to dogs?"

Friend: "Sure do, don't believe me?"

Rancher: "Ok, go talk to my dog"

Friend: "Is he treating you OK?"

Dog: "Sure, he feeds me and takes me on walks.

Rancher: "Unbelievable! Why does he never talk to me?"

Friend: "Maybe you should try talking to him". "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Rancher: "This is pure insanity! OK, go talk to my horse"

Friend: "Is he treating you OK?

Horse: "Sure, he feeds me, grooms me, and treats me like a king"

Rancher: "I must be dreaming! Incidentally, don't go near the sheep. They are all a bunch of freak'in liars!"

 

[Anomalism]

So this rancher has his buddy visit him as they strike up a conversation.

Friend: "Mind if I talk to your dog?"

Rancher: "Talk to my dog? You talk to dogs?"

Friend: "Sure do, don't believe me?"

Rancher: "Ok, go talk to my dog"

Friend: "Is he treating you OK?"

Dog: "Sure, he feeds me and takes me on walks.

Rancher: "Unbelievable! Why does he never talk to me?"

Friend: "Maybe you should try talking to him". "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Rancher: "This is pure insanity! OK, go talk to my horse"

Friend: "Is he treating you OK?

Horse: "Sure, he feeds me, grooms me, and treats me like a king"

Rancher: "I must be dreaming! Incidentally, don't go near the sheep. They are all a bunch of freak'in liars!"

THE SHEEP LIES!

 

[JGalt]

I have a dog joke...

"Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof?"

"Woof woof woof."

 

[rightwinger]

Rodney Dangerfield joke

Two drunks are walking down the street and they see a dog laying on the side of the road licking himself.

One drunk says……Damn, wish I could do that!

The other drunk says……
Why don’t you pet him, maybe he’ll let ya

 

[lg325]

After a talking Sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer. “I know,” says the Sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”


3. What kind of dog is the quietest sleeper of all?
A hush puppy.

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

A dog walks into a bar and says "I cannot see a thing. I'll open this one".

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesnt matter what you call him, he isnt going to come to you.

 

[Sayaras]

So this rancher has his buddy visit him as they strike up a conversation.

Friend: "Mind if I talk to your dog?"

Rancher: "Talk to my dog? You talk to dogs?"

Friend: "Sure do, don't believe me?"

Rancher: "Ok, go talk to my dog"

Friend: "Is he treating you OK?"

Dog: "Sure, he feeds me and takes me on walks.

Rancher: "Unbelievable! Why does he never talk to me?"

Friend: "Maybe you should try talking to him". "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Rancher: "This is pure insanity! OK, go talk to my horse"

Friend: "Is he treating you OK?

Horse: "Sure, he feeds me, grooms me, and treats me like a king"

Rancher: "I must be dreaming! Incidentally, don't go near the sheep. They are all a bunch of freak'in liars!"

Lol

 

[lg325]

 

[Natural Citizen]

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Get it?

 

[Natural Citizen]

Oh, sorry. Didn't notice it was only dog jokes. Ha..

 

[Toro]

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Get it?

I’d neg you for that if I could

 

[Natural Citizen]

Toro's dog...

 

[Toro]

Toro's dog...

Good dog!

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Get it?

What is the difference between beer nuts and reindeer nuts?

beer nuts are around $3.95
reindeer nuts are under a buck


Merry Christmas everyone, who believes in Christmas.

 

[Rocko]

When Gorbachev visited the US he told Reagan he wanted to eat to eat a hotdog. He loved it. He asked Reagan which part of the hot dog did Reagan get.

 

[Toro]

 

[petro]

Guy goes to the bartender,
"I will take a drink, but no Tequila"...

"Why's that?" asked the bartender...

"Well, last time I drank Tequila I blacked out and blew Chunks. " he replied...

Bartender says "that happens to people sometimes who drink too much"

The customer protests...
"But,but, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog!!".

 

[petro]