My own racism

[BookShaka]

Does it bother you that whether or not you're racist all the undeniable racists are on your side, for some reason? It bothers me.

It can be bothersome but you can’t control other people. It’s impossible so the next best thing is to deal with it. You can call them out if you like. I have before but it’s not going to change their minds.

 

[IM2]

John, I respect your efforts. You are an honest man. Those opposing you are dishonest people. Thank you for trying to make the effort to erase racism from your life instead of making excuses as to why you must continue being one. Bless you.

Black people really need to start buying up plantations.

There is apparently a market for uneducated white people who like to be abused and enslaved by blacks and other various non-European peoples.

Did you just spend time marking fifteen of my posts funny?

That's what he does. As you see he's an idiot.

 

[DrLove]

One of the more honest posts I've read around here in quite some time. Kudos

 

[IM2]

You’re 100% right—you ARE racist but it’s not bc you’re white.

You need to understand something very real. The only people who thibk we believe all whites are racist only because you are white is you and others like you. Whites made up the concept of race. Whites have been racists, and whites are still racists. But just because you have problems reconciling that fact doesn't mean we are not aware that not all whites are racist.

Stop pretending that non whites are racists in the same manner as whites have been for speaking out against whites who are racists. Grow up and face the fact that the racism whites have practiced created animosity towards whites from non whites and that's what you are calling racism. We as non whites do not know which white person isn't racist. But due to the fact whites have been racists we tend not to trust whites until they show us they are not.

Now you call that racist, maybe because you want to deny the history of and continuing modern white racism. And that would be a fair assessment if whites did not have a continuing minimum 242 year track record of racist behavior. Just because you might not be one doesn't exclude the fact there are whites who are. And speaking to you as a black man, it is unsafe for us to go around having to believe no matter the circumstance, that not all whites are racists just because you don't like whites being called racists unless we provide a disclaimer.

 

[john54]

John, I respect your efforts. You are an honest man. Those opposing you are dishonest people. Thank you for trying to make the effort to erase racism from your life instead of making excuses as to why you must continue being one. Bless you.

Black people really need to start buying up plantations.

There is apparently a market for uneducated white people who like to be abused and enslaved by blacks and other various non-European peoples.

Did you just spend time marking fifteen of my posts funny?

Took less than a minute to read them all and judge them appropriately.

Standard fare for my activities on this forum.

Just saying, it shows on my alerts you spent 24 minutes on it. Look, if you're affected, whichever way you're affected, including if that's having some reaction to me, hey, that's cool. I'm fine with being disliked - or, it doesn't feel great, but that's what I'm saying - you might get mad with what some of what black people on this forum are saying if it's affecting you, but if you're talking about abuse, that's something I've pretty much entirely had to learn to deal with from white people. You've been good teachers (or slavemasters, whichever you find funnier I suppose).

You are not worth 5 minutes.

If you ever do give some thought to those things that aren't worth five minutes, feel free to post those thoughts here. I'd be interested to hear about them.

 

[john54]

Does it bother you that whether or not you're racist all the undeniable racists are on your side, for some reason? It bothers me.

It can be bothersome but you can’t control other people. It’s impossible so the next best thing is to deal with it. You can call them out if you like. I have before but it’s not going to change their minds.

That's cool that it bothers you - it means you're a decent guy and don't want to be in the same boat as people you know aren't. The fact that you're here though probably means you're going to say what's on your mind either way, right? Do you never argue with people who you probably won't convince? If they bother you, let them know - it'll mean a lot more than it does coming from some one they don't consider themselves part of the same group as.

 

[Unkotare]

The white people of the United States being overwhelmed by mass non white immigration and subjected to a process of genocide through miscigenation [sic] and here comes an individual completely detached from reality complaining about "dirty looks" being directed at black people.

He must be Delores Paulk's younger brother.

Words like "genocide" have real meanings. People freely choosing to be with whomever they may be attracted to is not any part of that word's meaning.

 

[José]

UN DEFINITION OF GENOCIDE:​

genocide means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group:

1. 
   
   
   • Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;

United Nations Office on Genocide Prevention and the Responsibility to Protect

The US government, without the consent and against the will of the american people, changed the country's immigration laws to allow massive non-white immigration, 60 years ago, with the intent to racially "diversify" the country and provide plenty of non-whites for miscegenation to occur.

Roughly at the same time, the US mass media began a huge indoctrination campaign bombarding the american youth with the glamorization of black and latino culture and the glamorization of mixed-race couples in a clear effort to promote race mixing as a model to be followed by the american youth.

When you take into consideration both policies you see a clear "intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial group" by "deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part"

So what's been happening in America for the last 60 years fits the UN definition of genocide to a T.

 

[José]

We have a full-fledged genocide going on in the United States and the younger brother of Delores "RACIAL MICROAGRESSIONS" Paulk is totally obsessed with a much bigger issue:

Black folks getting dirty looks from racist whites!!!!

Is it pathetic or what?

 

[john54]

We have a full-fledged genocide going on in the United States and the younger brother of Delores "RACIAL MICROAGRESSIONS" Paulk is totally obsessed with a much bigger issue:

Black folks getting dirty looks from racist whites!!!!

Is it pathetic or what?

Is the government forcing people to have children of mixed ethnicity against their will? Is there some secret underground breeding program we're not aware of? Nothing you're mentioning sounds like genocide - it sounds like, maybe you only know how to bond with people by creating a common enemy.

So are you trying to recruit brothers in arms here or something? Just because they don't support most of what I'm saying, it sounds like you're using that to assume they're all going to be your friends.

I know what it feels like to hate, and unfortunately you and I probably have even more bad things in common, so listen - you have more in common with kind people than you think and it's a real common ground, not the weak bonds that hold hating people together. Find real friends - trust me. You will be a whole lot happier.

 

[Dan Stubbs]

It seems to me like most people on this forum are white and racist, with the exception of a few black folks who we’re fortunate enough to have here interrupting what would otherwise be a happy circle jerk. Many of you, I’ve noticed, erupt with anger and often racial vulgarities at the very mention of white people being racists. Others refrain from using racial slurs but nevertheless deny that they have any racism in them. And who am I to say you’re racist? I imagine it must be sickening to some of you to see a white guy like myself trying to drag you all into his “white guilt” and make you “feel bad for being white.”

So I’ll refrain from making any judgments about you lot and whatever racism you may or may not have and instead talk about myself and my own, undeniable, ugly, racism. We seldom really know what’s going on in each other’s minds, and what each other’s lives have really been like, so I’d like to offer some full disclosure to those for whom it may be of benefit. I doubt I’ll be making any friends by posting this and as the following may be hurtful to some to hear, I would like to apologize in advance. I have no excuse, and am ashamed that racism has been a part of who I am.

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

Walking by a group of black people on the street - sometimes my body goes stiff, as if I might have to fight. Sometimes I try not to look at them, or glance their way cautiously. I remember a time in rural Japan when a woman looked at me with total terror in her eyes for no reason other than that I wasn’t Japanese. I remember how it felt like she’d punched me and how it ruined my entire day. I wonder how many dozens, hundreds(?) of times I’ve ever looked at a black person that way and screwed up their day. Or if they were already so used to it it just enforced their justified view that all white people are racists.

Wanting to prove how not racist I am - I brought up racial issues with a black man I was doing business with the other day. He didn't bring it up, I did, and even when it seemed like he would really rather not discuss it I kept talking about it mindlessly just because it was interesting to me.

When I see a black person often the first thing I think is "how can I show this person I'm not racist, or not as racist as most white people?"

When I'm around black people, at least half that time is spent thinking about the fact that they're black.

I often expect some kind of validation, recognition from black people that they think I'm a good person. As if it's their job to tell me that.

When I was in preschool, I regularly called a black classmate of mine racial slurs. I thought it was funny. She cried and I kept doing it. Eventually her parents got involved and had it out with my parents. Her family sent me a book showing people of all colors holding hands and getting along.

I continued making occasional racial slurs against Asians and Native Americans in elementary school. I was a mean, racist kid.

My school, my area of town, the families my parents knew were all predominantly white. I had no friends who were black and knew no one who was black.

I remember my first week of middle school, I was paired up in class with a hispanic kid. I quickly went to my white teacher and said, "Pair me with some one else. We're not like them." She refused, and the kid looked at me confused and said he didn't understand what was wrong.

Watching movies on racism, like Blackkklansman recently, I had to stop myself from laughing during numerous scenes that were patently racist. Some part of me wanted to laugh at black people being denigrated.

I think stuff and have even said racist things about Asians without thinking about it. Generalizations about different countries, scornful remarks about their cultures.

In general, I have thoughts - when I meet black people, when I see them on TV; before I even hear what they have to say I have thoughts like, "He looks full of himself." "He's too defensive. Race is probably always on his mind." "She doesn't look intelligent." "Why do they talk like that?" "This movie's just trying to make black people seem smarter than they are." It's ugly. It's bigoted. But it's on my mind. Even as I kick myself for it, some part of me won't condemn the racism in it.

So where am I going with this confession? I'm saying I'm a racist and I don't want to be. I'm saying, this is some really ugly, vile shit. I'm saying, how would I like to find out that some one was thinking these things about me? I'm saying I'm probably not going to make any friends by posting this, but if any white person here has any of the same racism in them, I hope you confront it. For your own sake, because I've heard a lot of you say some really racist crap that, yeah, I've thought of before, but every time you say it outloud you enforce it and you lose a little bit more of your humanity that you're going to have to try to get back some day if you genuinely want to be a good person.

God I hope you have cleansed your white racist soul and feel better. I guess there are weak people who just never grew out of the race thing. I just don't really care about the skin thing, just leave me a lone and quit trying to HELP me you make things worst and keep the KKK alive. Grew up thinking I was white, never made any impression that my uncle was very dark. So big deal. I am what I am and don't claim to be anything but that. Anyone who makes everything a race problem is the problem. Sure I don't feel relaxed in certain bars and clubs and it has nothing to do with race. I has to do with the type of people in the club, and not race. We had a very good school near where I grew up but I was not able to get into it. I was not black enough. I am sure anyone who reads this will get the idea. So take a shower and wash away your Progressive soul. Nothing is going to change.

 

[Unkotare]

The white people of the United States being overwhelmed by mass non white immigration and subjected to a process of genocide through miscigenation [sic] and here comes an individual completely detached from reality complaining about "dirty looks" being directed at black people.

He must be Delores Paulk's younger brother.

Words like "genocide" have real meanings. People freely choosing to be with whomever they may be attracted to is not any part of that word's meaning.

.

 

[john54]

It seems to me like most people on this forum are white and racist, with the exception of a few black folks who we’re fortunate enough to have here interrupting what would otherwise be a happy circle jerk. Many of you, I’ve noticed, erupt with anger and often racial vulgarities at the very mention of white people being racists. Others refrain from using racial slurs but nevertheless deny that they have any racism in them. And who am I to say you’re racist? I imagine it must be sickening to some of you to see a white guy like myself trying to drag you all into his “white guilt” and make you “feel bad for being white.”

So I’ll refrain from making any judgments about you lot and whatever racism you may or may not have and instead talk about myself and my own, undeniable, ugly, racism. We seldom really know what’s going on in each other’s minds, and what each other’s lives have really been like, so I’d like to offer some full disclosure to those for whom it may be of benefit. I doubt I’ll be making any friends by posting this and as the following may be hurtful to some to hear, I would like to apologize in advance. I have no excuse, and am ashamed that racism has been a part of who I am.

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

Walking by a group of black people on the street - sometimes my body goes stiff, as if I might have to fight. Sometimes I try not to look at them, or glance their way cautiously. I remember a time in rural Japan when a woman looked at me with total terror in her eyes for no reason other than that I wasn’t Japanese. I remember how it felt like she’d punched me and how it ruined my entire day. I wonder how many dozens, hundreds(?) of times I’ve ever looked at a black person that way and screwed up their day. Or if they were already so used to it it just enforced their justified view that all white people are racists.

Wanting to prove how not racist I am - I brought up racial issues with a black man I was doing business with the other day. He didn't bring it up, I did, and even when it seemed like he would really rather not discuss it I kept talking about it mindlessly just because it was interesting to me.

When I see a black person often the first thing I think is "how can I show this person I'm not racist, or not as racist as most white people?"

When I'm around black people, at least half that time is spent thinking about the fact that they're black.

I often expect some kind of validation, recognition from black people that they think I'm a good person. As if it's their job to tell me that.

When I was in preschool, I regularly called a black classmate of mine racial slurs. I thought it was funny. She cried and I kept doing it. Eventually her parents got involved and had it out with my parents. Her family sent me a book showing people of all colors holding hands and getting along.

I continued making occasional racial slurs against Asians and Native Americans in elementary school. I was a mean, racist kid.

My school, my area of town, the families my parents knew were all predominantly white. I had no friends who were black and knew no one who was black.

I remember my first week of middle school, I was paired up in class with a hispanic kid. I quickly went to my white teacher and said, "Pair me with some one else. We're not like them." She refused, and the kid looked at me confused and said he didn't understand what was wrong.

Watching movies on racism, like Blackkklansman recently, I had to stop myself from laughing during numerous scenes that were patently racist. Some part of me wanted to laugh at black people being denigrated.

I think stuff and have even said racist things about Asians without thinking about it. Generalizations about different countries, scornful remarks about their cultures.

In general, I have thoughts - when I meet black people, when I see them on TV; before I even hear what they have to say I have thoughts like, "He looks full of himself." "He's too defensive. Race is probably always on his mind." "She doesn't look intelligent." "Why do they talk like that?" "This movie's just trying to make black people seem smarter than they are." It's ugly. It's bigoted. But it's on my mind. Even as I kick myself for it, some part of me won't condemn the racism in it.

So where am I going with this confession? I'm saying I'm a racist and I don't want to be. I'm saying, this is some really ugly, vile shit. I'm saying, how would I like to find out that some one was thinking these things about me? I'm saying I'm probably not going to make any friends by posting this, but if any white person here has any of the same racism in them, I hope you confront it. For your own sake, because I've heard a lot of you say some really racist crap that, yeah, I've thought of before, but every time you say it outloud you enforce it and you lose a little bit more of your humanity that you're going to have to try to get back some day if you genuinely want to be a good person.

God I hope you have cleansed your white racist soul and feel better. I guess there are weak people who just never grew out of the race thing. I just don't really care about the skin thing, just leave me a lone and quit trying to HELP me you make things worst and keep the KKK alive. Grew up thinking I was white, never made any impression that my uncle was very dark. So big deal. I am what I am and don't claim to be anything but that. Anyone who makes everything a race problem is the problem. Sure I don't feel relaxed in certain bars and clubs and it has nothing to do with race. I has to do with the type of people in the club, and not race. We had a very good school near where I grew up but I was not able to get into it. I was not black enough. I am sure anyone who reads this will get the idea. So take a shower and wash away your Progressive soul. Nothing is going to change.

I had a coworker once who was an AA member and constantly tried to "help me" by insisting I was an addict (I used to do some drugs in college, years ago, and had not done any for years, nor have since). He would constantly give me unwanted advice and unwanted life lessons and it was really NOT HELPFUL and a pain in the ass as he tried to get in my head and it got in the way of work. Whatever addiction problems I may have once had or dangers of becoming addicted again I still had were my own problems. It was especially ironic as he chain smoked cigarettes.

I'm similarly being annoying with my nosiness. And this thread is, yes, inherently hypocritical as I'm condemning white racism while admitting to having done stuff that is likely worse than many. Maybe you didn't yell racial slurs at a black girl when you were a kid, like I did. Maybe you haven't found yourself insulting and scorning people of different ethnicities in general. But then why is this thread bothering you. Why do you care at all. What is the "nothing" that is not going to change? If you read what I say and honestly feel emotionless about it because it doesn't apply to you and you haven't been a racist to anyone, then maybe you have no racism in you and I envy you. If something about this really does irk you, then why the hell is it irking you? If it's just your problem, it is indeed nobody else's business. In my case, I have hurt people, often without realizing it, which has made it others' business, so I've shared this.

 

[Votto]

It seems to me like most people on this forum are white and racist, with the exception of a few black folks who we’re fortunate enough to have here interrupting what would otherwise be a happy circle jerk. Many of you, I’ve noticed, erupt with anger and often racial vulgarities at the very mention of white people being racists. Others refrain from using racial slurs but nevertheless deny that they have any racism in them. And who am I to say you’re racist? I imagine it must be sickening to some of you to see a white guy like myself trying to drag you all into his “white guilt” and make you “feel bad for being white.”

So I’ll refrain from making any judgments about you lot and whatever racism you may or may not have and instead talk about myself and my own, undeniable, ugly, racism. We seldom really know what’s going on in each other’s minds, and what each other’s lives have really been like, so I’d like to offer some full disclosure to those for whom it may be of benefit. I doubt I’ll be making any friends by posting this and as the following may be hurtful to some to hear, I would like to apologize in advance. I have no excuse, and am ashamed that racism has been a part of who I am.

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

Walking by a group of black people on the street - sometimes my body goes stiff, as if I might have to fight. Sometimes I try not to look at them, or glance their way cautiously. I remember a time in rural Japan when a woman looked at me with total terror in her eyes for no reason other than that I wasn’t Japanese. I remember how it felt like she’d punched me and how it ruined my entire day. I wonder how many dozens, hundreds(?) of times I’ve ever looked at a black person that way and screwed up their day. Or if they were already so used to it it just enforced their justified view that all white people are racists.

Wanting to prove how not racist I am - I brought up racial issues with a black man I was doing business with the other day. He didn't bring it up, I did, and even when it seemed like he would really rather not discuss it I kept talking about it mindlessly just because it was interesting to me.

When I see a black person often the first thing I think is "how can I show this person I'm not racist, or not as racist as most white people?"

When I'm around black people, at least half that time is spent thinking about the fact that they're black.

I often expect some kind of validation, recognition from black people that they think I'm a good person. As if it's their job to tell me that.

When I was in preschool, I regularly called a black classmate of mine racial slurs. I thought it was funny. She cried and I kept doing it. Eventually her parents got involved and had it out with my parents. Her family sent me a book showing people of all colors holding hands and getting along.

I continued making occasional racial slurs against Asians and Native Americans in elementary school. I was a mean, racist kid.

My school, my area of town, the families my parents knew were all predominantly white. I had no friends who were black and knew no one who was black.

I remember my first week of middle school, I was paired up in class with a hispanic kid. I quickly went to my white teacher and said, "Pair me with some one else. We're not like them." She refused, and the kid looked at me confused and said he didn't understand what was wrong.

Watching movies on racism, like Blackkklansman recently, I had to stop myself from laughing during numerous scenes that were patently racist. Some part of me wanted to laugh at black people being denigrated.

I think stuff and have even said racist things about Asians without thinking about it. Generalizations about different countries, scornful remarks about their cultures.

In general, I have thoughts - when I meet black people, when I see them on TV; before I even hear what they have to say I have thoughts like, "He looks full of himself." "He's too defensive. Race is probably always on his mind." "She doesn't look intelligent." "Why do they talk like that?" "This movie's just trying to make black people seem smarter than they are." It's ugly. It's bigoted. But it's on my mind. Even as I kick myself for it, some part of me won't condemn the racism in it.

So where am I going with this confession? I'm saying I'm a racist and I don't want to be. I'm saying, this is some really ugly, vile shit. I'm saying, how would I like to find out that some one was thinking these things about me? I'm saying I'm probably not going to make any friends by posting this, but if any white person here has any of the same racism in them, I hope you confront it. For your own sake, because I've heard a lot of you say some really racist crap that, yeah, I've thought of before, but every time you say it outloud you enforce it and you lose a little bit more of your humanity that you're going to have to try to get back some day if you genuinely want to be a good person.

IM2, is this really you?

 

[Markle]

There is nothing victim about me or black people. We are victors when you really think about it.

The first true statement I've ever seen you post.

Had your alleged slave great, great grandparents had never been brought to America, where would you, or what would be your equals in the generation scheme of things, be today?

Did you have the stones to take the Project Implicit test at post number 74? Come on, no guts, no glory!

 

[Muhammed]

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

You sure do throw around the word "we" an awful lot. Since you cannot speak for others, when you say WE whites are racist, you are only speaking for yourself. YOU are the racist. Not other white people. Nobody here knows who the fuck you are. You could be some groid who is projecting.

 

[john54]

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

You sure do throw around the word "we" an awful lot. Since you cannot speak for others, when you say WE whites are racist, you are only speaking for yourself. YOU are the racist. Not other white people. Nobody here knows who the fuck you are. You could be some groid who is projecting.

I think I was careful not to say "all we whites are racist" or "we whites always fail to address racism" or any universal like that - there are 246 million white people in the U.S. alone. Not all white people are racist. Many white people have no racism in them. Many white people speak up when they see racism. Many have some racism in them and are otherwise decent or wonderful people. A very small percentage are full fledged white supremacists.

Again, this thread is going to piss some people off, and again, if it has nothing to do with you, great! Not all white people are racists. If you can't relate to any of it and I am alone here in my own misdeeds, then the world is a better place for it.

 

[john54]

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

You sure do throw around the word "we" an awful lot. Since you cannot speak for others, when you say WE whites are racist, you are only speaking for yourself. YOU are the racist. Not other white people. Nobody here knows who the fuck you are. You could be some groid who is projecting.

Given that you acknowledge it exists and that I am one, I would just ask why you are one of only a handful of white posters on this forum who have condemned it. I'm glad you're condemning it.

 

[Muhammed]

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

You sure do throw around the word "we" an awful lot. Since you cannot speak for others, when you say WE whites are racist, you are only speaking for yourself. YOU are the racist. Not other white people. Nobody here knows who the fuck you are. You could be some groid who is projecting.

Given that you acknowledge it exists and that I am one, I would just ask why you are one of only a handful of white posters on this forum who have condemned it. I'm glad you're condemning it.

Why are you a racist?

 

[john54]

In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

You sure do throw around the word "we" an awful lot. Since you cannot speak for others, when you say WE whites are racist, you are only speaking for yourself. YOU are the racist. Not other white people. Nobody here knows who the fuck you are. You could be some groid who is projecting.

Given that you acknowledge it exists and that I am one, I would just ask why you are one of only a handful of white posters on this forum who have condemned it. I'm glad you're condemning it.

Why are you a racist?

Absolutely the best question I've been asked in a long time. I have to admit I try not to be and often feel like I succeded, and nowadays I am less racist than I used to be. I used to be much more racist. I mentioned what I was like when I was a kid and I did feel like less-than-a-good-person about using racial slurs on other kids and openly mocking people of different ethnicities and assuming all white people were as racist as me. I was ashamed and didn't want to be like that. A lot of that blatant stuff went away back then - in public. But not all of it did and a lot remains in private. Stuff I don't want in me anymore but that's hard to get out.

Why am I so bothered by the way Asians look, talk, walk? I have lived in an Asian country and found their culture not to my liking, but I have problems with aspects of American culture, so can I blame it on a mere difference in thinking? Honestly, I think I just don't like the way they look. The shape of their bodies. The fact that they don't match my idea of beauty. And if it was just a taste in looks, that wouldn't be racism, I think, because everyone has their preferences. But I take that and slap other things on top of it to excuse my feeling somehow superior to them, to degrade them as people. The fact that many Asian cultures are repressive. My idea that they're not honest. My idea that they lack creativity. Maybe I got some stereotypes from media, who knows, but the decision, somewhere in me, to condemn them for being Asian is nothing but me giving in to my own hate. I've noticed it in myself and am pretty damn ashamed.

The bully in me who called that black girl racial slurs when I was a kid is still there somewhere too, lurking. I've focused a lot on getting rid of that venom, but like a tumor that comes back every time you excise it, I still find humor in black people being mocked sometimes and have to cringe at myself. I still get the urge in some bitter part of me to make a black person feel inferior - it's small, it's tiny now, but the thoughts linger - when I see some one on TV maybe some aspect of how they dress or do their hair or something makes me twitch a nasty smile. When I see mug shot of a black guy who committed a crime, some part of me wants to laugh. When I talk to even a black friend, some part of me feels like the bully. The bastard. The piece of shit who made that little girl cry. It's subtle, it's vague, I never knowingly act on it. But it's there.

That's why I'm a racist.