My own racism

Discussion in 'Race Relations/Racism' started by john54, Aug 31, 2018.

  1. john54
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    john54 Member

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    It seems to me like most people on this forum are white and racist, with the exception of a few black folks who we’re fortunate enough to have here interrupting what would otherwise be a happy circle jerk. Many of you, I’ve noticed, erupt with anger and often racial vulgarities at the very mention of white people being racists. Others refrain from using racial slurs but nevertheless deny that they have any racism in them. And who am I to say you’re racist? I imagine it must be sickening to some of you to see a white guy like myself trying to drag you all into his “white guilt” and make you “feel bad for being white.”

    So I’ll refrain from making any judgments about you lot and whatever racism you may or may not have and instead talk about myself and my own, undeniable, ugly, racism. We seldom really know what’s going on in each other’s minds, and what each other’s lives have really been like, so I’d like to offer some full disclosure to those for whom it may be of benefit. I doubt I’ll be making any friends by posting this and as the following may be hurtful to some to hear, I would like to apologize in advance. I have no excuse, and am ashamed that racism has been a part of who I am.

    In dialogue about racism, we whites often fail to mention actual examples of how we engage in it and are a part of it, so here are mine:

    Walking by a group of black people on the street - sometimes my body goes stiff, as if I might have to fight. Sometimes I try not to look at them, or glance their way cautiously. I remember a time in rural Japan when a woman looked at me with total terror in her eyes for no reason other than that I wasn’t Japanese. I remember how it felt like she’d punched me and how it ruined my entire day. I wonder how many dozens, hundreds(?) of times I’ve ever looked at a black person that way and screwed up their day. Or if they were already so used to it it just enforced their justified view that all white people are racists.

    Wanting to prove how not racist I am - I brought up racial issues with a black man I was doing business with the other day. He didn't bring it up, I did, and even when it seemed like he would really rather not discuss it I kept talking about it mindlessly just because it was interesting to me.

    When I see a black person often the first thing I think is "how can I show this person I'm not racist, or not as racist as most white people?"

    When I'm around black people, at least half that time is spent thinking about the fact that they're black.

    I often expect some kind of validation, recognition from black people that they think I'm a good person. As if it's their job to tell me that.

    When I was in preschool, I regularly called a black classmate of mine racial slurs. I thought it was funny. She cried and I kept doing it. Eventually her parents got involved and had it out with my parents. Her family sent me a book showing people of all colors holding hands and getting along.

    I continued making occasional racial slurs against Asians and Native Americans in elementary school. I was a mean, racist kid.

    My school, my area of town, the families my parents knew were all predominantly white. I had no friends who were black and knew no one who was black.

    I remember my first week of middle school, I was paired up in class with a hispanic kid. I quickly went to my white teacher and said, "Pair me with some one else. We're not like them." She refused, and the kid looked at me confused and said he didn't understand what was wrong.

    Watching movies on racism, like Blackkklansman recently, I had to stop myself from laughing during numerous scenes that were patently racist. Some part of me wanted to laugh at black people being denigrated.

    I think stuff and have even said racist things about Asians without thinking about it. Generalizations about different countries, scornful remarks about their cultures.

    In general, I have thoughts - when I meet black people, when I see them on TV; before I even hear what they have to say I have thoughts like, "He looks full of himself." "He's too defensive. Race is probably always on his mind." "She doesn't look intelligent." "Why do they talk like that?" "This movie's just trying to make black people seem smarter than they are." It's ugly. It's bigoted. But it's on my mind. Even as I kick myself for it, some part of me won't condemn the racism in it.

    So where am I going with this confession? I'm saying I'm a racist and I don't want to be. I'm saying, this is some really ugly, vile shit. I'm saying, how would I like to find out that some one was thinking these things about me? I'm saying I'm probably not going to make any friends by posting this, but if any white person here has any of the same racism in them, I hope you confront it. For your own sake, because I've heard a lot of you say some really racist crap that, yeah, I've thought of before, but every time you say it outloud you enforce it and you lose a little bit more of your humanity that you're going to have to try to get back some day if you genuinely want to be a good person.
     
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  2. HaywoodDjablowme
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    HaywoodDjablowme Member

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    I suppose if you call holding EVERYONE regardless of race or background to the same societal standards "racist" then fine, call it what you will.
     
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  3. Natural Citizen
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    Natural Citizen Gold Member

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    Probably another one of these clowns...

    [​IMG]
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    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
  4. JoeMoma
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    JoeMoma Gold Member

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    I smell a sock! I could be wrong.

    John54, if you are not a sock, you are way over compensating because of your own admitted racism. Racism is living rent free in your head. Just give everyone a fair shake regardless of race and you will be fine. You don't need to become a racist against your own race to compensate for your racism against other races.
     
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  5. john54
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    john54 Member

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    I can totally see what a relief it would be to absolve myself of my own racism by believing that. You're probably right that this issue affects me because I'm compensating for it in some way, sure. But having been the racist ass at one point makes me all the more keen to notice other racist asses. What's not racist about half the people on this forum posting racial slurs, claiming that slavery was done by "benevolent white people," saying black people should go back to Africa, jabbing at every black poster on this forum with nasty, fanged comments like a group of, what, hyenas? Do any of you "reasonable" posters condemn them? Ever? Does it bother you that whether or not you're racist all the undeniable racists are on your side, for some reason? It bothers me.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
  6. fncceo
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    fncceo Gold Member

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    I'm not sure anyone can apologize on behalf of an entire people any more than one person represents an entire people.
     
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  7. Darkwind
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    Darkwind Gold Member

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    Wow.

    What a sad indictment of America's educational system.
     
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  8. JoeMoma
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    JoeMoma Gold Member

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    Oh my goodness! This is a very polarizing forum with racist jabbing at each other from multiple sides. And all this jabbing seems to do is perpetuate the racism. Racism is like a sore that will never heal if you keep picking at it, and picking at the sore seems to be all this forum accomplishes.

    I am not on the side of the "undeniable racists" I would like for racism to cease to exist. However, racism is not limited to the white posters on this forum. Your opinion aligns so much with the postings of the racists black posters that I would not be surprised if you turn out to be one of their socks.
     
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  9. john54
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    john54 Member

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    So I've counted a total of 5 self-identified black people on this forum (though I'm sure there are more) and somewhere near a hundred or more clearly white posters who have universally taken an opposing side. And around half of them regularly seethe out blatant white supremacist remarks while thanking, and agreeing with whatever the rest of you have to say. When they post a racial slur, it's thanked by their fellows and then the argument goes on as if it never happened. Let's say five people versus one hundred counts as "multiple sides," - even then, why do you have a problem with being the bigger man and calling out the racists who are thanking your posts and agreeing with everything you say?
     
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  10. José
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    José Gold Member

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    The white people of the United States being overwhelmed by mass non white immigration and subjected to a process of genocide through miscigenation and here comes an individual completely detached from reality complaining about "dirty looks" being directed at black people.

    He must be Delores Paulk's younger brother.
     
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