In 2016... What the hell does "Gay" even mean?

I didnt have to compete with other males. Women smiled at me and I smiled back and then we hooked up. I have been told by most women that I have "no game" which is what you are alluding to when you ask if I know how to go about attracting the opposite sex. I just stand there and it happens. Evidently I was blessed and lucky enough to just be myself and attract women.

Well sorry, I don't believe you. I think, at some point along about puberty, you started grooming yourself, using deodorant, brushing your teeth, using mouthwash, dressing in a certain way, and you began to do what the laws of nature compel you to do in order to attract a mate. Whether you admit that or not is a different story.
 
I already told you that gay was slang for homosexual.

And I've already said you can simply replace "gay" with the word "homosexual" if that bothers you. It doesn't address the OP question, it's simply a fatuous comment that has no value.
All you have to do is look up what the word homosexual means and you will know what most 3rd graders know. Where you asleep for the last 3 or 4 decades or something?

Well I already know what homosexual means. Are you just going to continue to demagogue the thread and not discuss the OP topic? You basically called me "gay" because I think Channing Tatum is a sexy man.... I haven't had homosexual relations with him, don't intend to... wouldn't care to. So now, you seem to be doing a 180 and claiming that gay means homosexual relations. Which is it??? :dunno:
 
Dude you wrote a large paragraph. Its not that serious.

Dude... writing a large paragraph doesn't denote "bent out of shape" or "worked into a lather" over something. It's English composition. There was not an appropriate break in train of thought for a new paragraph. I am merely trying to establish a point at which we can begin a conversation. Please refrain from reading emotion into my comments, I didn't display outrage or disgust, I didn't insult or denigrate. I simply posed some various scenarios and situations and juxtaposed my OP question.
You did so needlessly and for a long time. Of course you were in a lather. No one writes that long without being worked up. How do you not know what gay means in this day and age?

No, not a long time... one long paragraph. It's a considerably shorter OP than most I've written here. You INFERRED that I was worked into a lather and bent out of shape... I don't know why... nothing I said indicated such a thing. It took me less than a minute to read my paragraph which establishes the OP topic. I didn't criticize anyone in particular or insult anyone, I didn't express outrage or contempt... I simply asked a series of pertinent questions. YOU drew the inferences and I think we need to talk about WHY that is? What do you imagine me being "bent out of shape" about? What am I "worked into a lather" over?
Because you wrote an extra long paragraph about something a 3rd grader has an understanding of. Obviously you were exasperated over what being gay meant. My thought is that you caught sexual feelings from some guy you saw and were trying to work it out. Can you explain how you dont know what gay means in this day and age?

Well no... third graders don't have much understanding about sexuality. I'm still exasperated over what "gay" means. Seems to me like it's a creation invented to discriminate and insult people, to stereotype them and put them in a box so you can continue to be a bigot or homophobe, or condemn others for intolerance. You actually make snide comments to reinforce this when you assume my comments are the result of some person making a sexual advance toward me.

I have had other men come on to me before. I told them I was not interested because I wasn't attracted to them in that way. BUT... I've also had women come on to me that I wasn't attracted to in that way. I've never felt a sexual attraction to another man personally. I can look at another man and see they are sexually attractive. I think any male who calls himself straight but doesn't admit that he can see how another man is sexually attractive is hiding something. Are you afraid it will make you appear gay? Well, that would define a homophobe, would it not?
Ah ha. So you were working yourself into a lather. Youre complaining about discrimination and silly nonsense over a word gay people made up to define themselves. I never made any snide comments. I just assumed that you had gay feelings and were trying to work them out due to the level of your admitted exasperation.

You just admitted you thought another man was sexy. I think youre gay and not dealing with it well. I dont find anything about another male sexy. Now women are a different story. I find lots of women sexy. I thought homophobe meant you were afraid of homosexuals? I have some friends that are gay men and I'm not afraid of them.
 
I didnt have to compete with other males. Women smiled at me and I smiled back and then we hooked up. I have been told by most women that I have "no game" which is what you are alluding to when you ask if I know how to go about attracting the opposite sex. I just stand there and it happens. Evidently I was blessed and lucky enough to just be myself and attract women.

Well sorry, I don't believe you. I think, at some point along about puberty, you started grooming yourself, using deodorant, brushing your teeth, using mouthwash, dressing in a certain way, and you began to do what the laws of nature compel you to do in order to attract a mate. Whether you admit that or not is a different story.
You dont have to believe me. I just supplied the information you requested. I started grooming myself long before puberty because I am a clean person. Had nothing to do with attracting women.
 
I think gay is slang for homosexual. How did you get so confused about what gay means?

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

OK let's make this simple Boss.
If you think being gay is relative, like being a "little bit gay"
then FU IT you're not gay. It's like being "a little bit pregnant."
If you have to think about it, and ask, then NO.

If you are gay to the same degree that other people are heterosexual, then yes, you are gay.

You think and feel in terms of that orientation, you are attracted to and look for people with that orientation, and you establish relations with that orientation -- ALL THREE LEVELS -- body mind and spirit, thought word action. Internal, external, relations.

The same way people identify as heterosexual
and aren't "a little bit heterosexual"
the same for when you are homosexual.

And bisexual does not necessarily mean "ambiguous"
or "ambivalent" -- it can mean someone is 100% heterosexual and 100% homosexual at the same time, like being 100% fluent in French and 100% fluent in Spanish at the same time.

It does NOT have to mean "unable to decide" between French and Spanish; it means that when you relate to a French audience, then you naturally speak in French, and likewise you naturally speak in Spanish when relating to a Spanish audience.

The people IN the relationship will naturally choose words, focus, direction and activities that they ALL AGREE are real for that relationship, so it's 100%.

Well you said "make this simple" and you presented one of your famous meandering posts that is very confusing. Sexuality has nothing in common with various languages we can choose to learn. I fail to see any correlation there.
 
I already told you that gay was slang for homosexual.

And I've already said you can simply replace "gay" with the word "homosexual" if that bothers you. It doesn't address the OP question, it's simply a fatuous comment that has no value.
All you have to do is look up what the word homosexual means and you will know what most 3rd graders know. Where you asleep for the last 3 or 4 decades or something?

Well I already know what homosexual means. Are you just going to continue to demagogue the thread and not discuss the OP topic? You basically called me "gay" because I think Channing Tatum is a sexy man.... I haven't had homosexual relations with him, don't intend to... wouldn't care to. So now, you seem to be doing a 180 and claiming that gay means homosexual relations. Which is it??? :dunno:
I am discussing the topic. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. As far as I know the meaning of gay hasnt changed. If you would just admit you are confused about your sexual orientation you would be able to deal with it better.

I didnt call you gay. I said you were probably gay or bi if you think that guy is sexy. You dont have to have sex with someone to be gay.
 
Being "gay" in 2016 means you're entitled to special rights, and if anyone doesn't agree to that, you are being discriminated against by a bigot.
 
I already told you that gay was slang for homosexual.

And I've already said you can simply replace "gay" with the word "homosexual" if that bothers you. It doesn't address the OP question, it's simply a fatuous comment that has no value.
All you have to do is look up what the word homosexual means and you will know what most 3rd graders know. Where you asleep for the last 3 or 4 decades or something?

Well I already know what homosexual means. Are you just going to continue to demagogue the thread and not discuss the OP topic? You basically called me "gay" because I think Channing Tatum is a sexy man.... I haven't had homosexual relations with him, don't intend to... wouldn't care to. So now, you seem to be doing a 180 and claiming that gay means homosexual relations. Which is it??? :dunno:

Wait. If you know what homosexual means, and you can replace gay with homosexual as you stated in this thread, why did you write the OP? ;)
 
why can't we be like a water painting, colours all blended to create a picture, not harsh lines.
As life changes those we love might change. As we grow and taste new things our favorites might change. As we meet new people our likes and attraction might change.

You might think you will never marry again and then have your socks knocked off by someone across the street. the type of person you were attracted to as a teen or young adult is probably not what yu are attracted to in your thirty or forties.... unless you found that "one" that you can't shake even when that person is gone

No labels, no confinements, no limits
Life is a learning process, we should never stop learning and discovering the world or ourselves.
 
Dude... writing a large paragraph doesn't denote "bent out of shape" or "worked into a lather" over something. It's English composition. There was not an appropriate break in train of thought for a new paragraph. I am merely trying to establish a point at which we can begin a conversation. Please refrain from reading emotion into my comments, I didn't display outrage or disgust, I didn't insult or denigrate. I simply posed some various scenarios and situations and juxtaposed my OP question.
You did so needlessly and for a long time. Of course you were in a lather. No one writes that long without being worked up. How do you not know what gay means in this day and age?

No, not a long time... one long paragraph. It's a considerably shorter OP than most I've written here. You INFERRED that I was worked into a lather and bent out of shape... I don't know why... nothing I said indicated such a thing. It took me less than a minute to read my paragraph which establishes the OP topic. I didn't criticize anyone in particular or insult anyone, I didn't express outrage or contempt... I simply asked a series of pertinent questions. YOU drew the inferences and I think we need to talk about WHY that is? What do you imagine me being "bent out of shape" about? What am I "worked into a lather" over?
Because you wrote an extra long paragraph about something a 3rd grader has an understanding of. Obviously you were exasperated over what being gay meant. My thought is that you caught sexual feelings from some guy you saw and were trying to work it out. Can you explain how you dont know what gay means in this day and age?

Well no... third graders don't have much understanding about sexuality. I'm still exasperated over what "gay" means. Seems to me like it's a creation invented to discriminate and insult people, to stereotype them and put them in a box so you can continue to be a bigot or homophobe, or condemn others for intolerance. You actually make snide comments to reinforce this when you assume my comments are the result of some person making a sexual advance toward me.

I have had other men come on to me before. I told them I was not interested because I wasn't attracted to them in that way. BUT... I've also had women come on to me that I wasn't attracted to in that way. I've never felt a sexual attraction to another man personally. I can look at another man and see they are sexually attractive. I think any male who calls himself straight but doesn't admit that he can see how another man is sexually attractive is hiding something. Are you afraid it will make you appear gay? Well, that would define a homophobe, would it not?
Ah ha. So you were working yourself into a lather. Youre complaining about discrimination and silly nonsense over a word gay people made up to define themselves. I never made any snide comments. I just assumed that you had gay feelings and were trying to work them out due to the level of your admitted exasperation.

You just admitted you thought another man was sexy. I think youre gay and not dealing with it well. I dont find anything about another male sexy. Now women are a different story. I find lots of women sexy. I thought homophobe meant you were afraid of homosexuals? I have some friends that are gay men and I'm not afraid of them.

Well no, I didn't say I was worked into a lather over anything. I am trying to gain understanding and you're grandstanding in my thread.. .trying your best to be a total dick. You've now made snide little comments to me AND OTHERS implying they are "gay" based on something they said... nothing to do with what type of sexual relations they have or desire to have.

I actually think you are a homophobe... a textbook example. You seem to want to hide from the facts of nature. You are a male competing in a world of other males for female companionship and you naturally have an instinct as to what you need to do in order to attract them... if you don't think you have that, maybe you are gay? Now, if you realize that you're a Darwinian creature who has these natural instincts, you can certainly recognize others who have attributes you naturally associate with this... or you're hiding that feeling in denial for some reason... I think it's because you are afraid of being thought of as homosexual... a homophobe.
 
I am serious here... what does it actually mean this day and age? Is a person "gay" because they are attracted to the same gender? Or do they have to act upon their attraction and have a homosexual relationship to qualify? If someone acknowledges that someone of the same gender is sexually appealing, does that make them gay? What if you are physically attracted to both genders? Are you gay by default? Do you have to engage in actual sexual relationships and how far can you go without being actually gay? What if you get turned on by making yourself intentionally attractive to same gender but you're not interested in having sexual relations? Like a gay tease? Is that gay? Does that make you a gay person? What if you enjoy the mystique of the closet gay lifestyle, slipping around and frequenting gay bars to have promiscuous sex with same gender but you are happily married to the opposite gender? Does that mean you're gay or straight? What if you are completely heterosexual but you enjoy entertaining people dressed as a transgender? Are you gay then? What if you are straight but attracted to same gender transsexuals? What if you don't have sex at all and you love all people of both genders and see them as equally appealing sexually? Is that gay? What if you have been straight your entire life, always knew you were straight, never had any desire to be with the same gender physically and you get drunk one night and have homosexual relations... are you made gay by that one-off? What if you're in high school and you don't really know what you are and you experiment with homosexual relations but decide you didn't like it... can you become "ungay" or are you forever gay?

:dunno: Just curious... it seems we've painted ourselves into a rather bigoted corner.

This strikes me as a bit of a troll thread, but I'll respond as though it isn't.

I think that there can be some ambiguity in definition when it comes to sexuality, but basically, being gay is being attracted exclusively to the same gender. Straight, therefore, is being exclusively attracted to the opposite gender.

Of course, changing definitions of gender muddy this.

There can be a lot of middle ground between gay and straight. I think of it as a sliding scale and imagine that most people are at least capable of falling somewhere in the middle, given the right circumstances.

I can't say that I've seen much confusion over what being gay means in a general sense. :dunno:

That's funny because you just gave a very confusing and ambiguous definition of what "gay" really means.

What is confusing and ambiguous about 'being attracted exclusively to the same gender'? I suppose, given the new self-identifying gender terms people are using, I could further clarify and say that it is being attracted exclusively to the same biologic gender.
 
I am serious here... what does it actually mean this day and age? Is a person "gay" because they are attracted to the same gender? Or do they have to act upon their attraction and have a homosexual relationship to qualify? If someone acknowledges that someone of the same gender is sexually appealing, does that make them gay? What if you are physically attracted to both genders? Are you gay by default? Do you have to engage in actual sexual relationships and how far can you go without being actually gay? What if you get turned on by making yourself intentionally attractive to same gender but you're not interested in having sexual relations? Like a gay tease? Is that gay? Does that make you a gay person? What if you enjoy the mystique of the closet gay lifestyle, slipping around and frequenting gay bars to have promiscuous sex with same gender but you are happily married to the opposite gender? Does that mean you're gay or straight? What if you are completely heterosexual but you enjoy entertaining people dressed as a transgender? Are you gay then? What if you are straight but attracted to same gender transsexuals? What if you don't have sex at all and you love all people of both genders and see them as equally appealing sexually? Is that gay? What if you have been straight your entire life, always knew you were straight, never had any desire to be with the same gender physically and you get drunk one night and have homosexual relations... are you made gay by that one-off? What if you're in high school and you don't really know what you are and you experiment with homosexual relations but decide you didn't like it... can you become "ungay" or are you forever gay?

:dunno: Just curious... it seems we've painted ourselves into a rather bigoted corner.

This strikes me as a bit of a troll thread, but I'll respond as though it isn't.

I think that there can be some ambiguity in definition when it comes to sexuality, but basically, being gay is being attracted exclusively to the same gender. Straight, therefore, is being exclusively attracted to the opposite gender.

Of course, changing definitions of gender muddy this.

There can be a lot of middle ground between gay and straight. I think of it as a sliding scale and imagine that most people are at least capable of falling somewhere in the middle, given the right circumstances.

I can't say that I've seen much confusion over what being gay means in a general sense. :dunno:

That's funny because you just gave a very confusing and ambiguous definition of what "gay" really means.

What is confusing and ambiguous about 'being attracted exclusively to the same gender'? I suppose, given the new self-identifying gender terms people are using, I could further clarify and say that it is being attracted exclusively to the same biologic gender.

So you can be banging chicks left and right... biggest man whore around... but if you have attraction to males, even if you don't act on it... you're gay?
 
Dude you wrote a large paragraph. Its not that serious.

Dude... writing a large paragraph doesn't denote "bent out of shape" or "worked into a lather" over something. It's English composition. There was not an appropriate break in train of thought for a new paragraph. I am merely trying to establish a point at which we can begin a conversation. Please refrain from reading emotion into my comments, I didn't display outrage or disgust, I didn't insult or denigrate. I simply posed some various scenarios and situations and juxtaposed my OP question.
You did so needlessly and for a long time. Of course you were in a lather. No one writes that long without being worked up. How do you not know what gay means in this day and age?

No, not a long time... one long paragraph. It's a considerably shorter OP than most I've written here. You INFERRED that I was worked into a lather and bent out of shape... I don't know why... nothing I said indicated such a thing. It took me less than a minute to read my paragraph which establishes the OP topic. I didn't criticize anyone in particular or insult anyone, I didn't express outrage or contempt... I simply asked a series of pertinent questions. YOU drew the inferences and I think we need to talk about WHY that is? What do you imagine me being "bent out of shape" about? What am I "worked into a lather" over?
Because you wrote an extra long paragraph about something a 3rd grader has an understanding of. Obviously you were exasperated over what being gay meant. My thought is that you caught sexual feelings from some guy you saw and were trying to work it out. Can you explain how you dont know what gay means in this day and age?

Well no... third graders don't have much understanding about sexuality. I'm still exasperated over what "gay" means. Seems to me like it's a creation invented to discriminate and insult people, to stereotype them and put them in a box so you can continue to be a bigot or homophobe, or condemn others for intolerance. You actually make snide comments to reinforce this when you assume my comments are the result of some person making a sexual advance toward me.

I have had other men come on to me before. I told them I was not interested because I wasn't attracted to them in that way. BUT... I've also had women come on to me that I wasn't attracted to in that way. I've never felt a sexual attraction to another man personally. I can look at another man and see they are sexually attractive. I think any male who calls himself straight but doesn't admit that he can see how another man is sexually attractive is hiding something. Are you afraid it will make you appear gay? Well, that would define a homophobe, would it not?

There is a difference between finding someone sexually attractive and seeing how someone else might find that person sexually attractive. For example, if someone told me they found painted toenails especially attractive, I could look at someone with painted toenails and understand they are attractive to that other person, while still finding nothing sexually appealing about feet myself.

My point is that if you say you look at a man and think he is sexy, I think it would be more accurate (and less confusing) if you said you look at a man and see how he is sexy to others. The way you've said it a couple of times in this thread seems to imply sexual attraction on your part rather than recognition of attractiveness to others; you don't find the men sexually attractive, you recognize their attractiveness to others.

That is what you seem to be saying, anyway. :dunno:
 
You did so needlessly and for a long time. Of course you were in a lather. No one writes that long without being worked up. How do you not know what gay means in this day and age?

No, not a long time... one long paragraph. It's a considerably shorter OP than most I've written here. You INFERRED that I was worked into a lather and bent out of shape... I don't know why... nothing I said indicated such a thing. It took me less than a minute to read my paragraph which establishes the OP topic. I didn't criticize anyone in particular or insult anyone, I didn't express outrage or contempt... I simply asked a series of pertinent questions. YOU drew the inferences and I think we need to talk about WHY that is? What do you imagine me being "bent out of shape" about? What am I "worked into a lather" over?
Because you wrote an extra long paragraph about something a 3rd grader has an understanding of. Obviously you were exasperated over what being gay meant. My thought is that you caught sexual feelings from some guy you saw and were trying to work it out. Can you explain how you dont know what gay means in this day and age?

Well no... third graders don't have much understanding about sexuality. I'm still exasperated over what "gay" means. Seems to me like it's a creation invented to discriminate and insult people, to stereotype them and put them in a box so you can continue to be a bigot or homophobe, or condemn others for intolerance. You actually make snide comments to reinforce this when you assume my comments are the result of some person making a sexual advance toward me.

I have had other men come on to me before. I told them I was not interested because I wasn't attracted to them in that way. BUT... I've also had women come on to me that I wasn't attracted to in that way. I've never felt a sexual attraction to another man personally. I can look at another man and see they are sexually attractive. I think any male who calls himself straight but doesn't admit that he can see how another man is sexually attractive is hiding something. Are you afraid it will make you appear gay? Well, that would define a homophobe, would it not?
Ah ha. So you were working yourself into a lather. Youre complaining about discrimination and silly nonsense over a word gay people made up to define themselves. I never made any snide comments. I just assumed that you had gay feelings and were trying to work them out due to the level of your admitted exasperation.

You just admitted you thought another man was sexy. I think youre gay and not dealing with it well. I dont find anything about another male sexy. Now women are a different story. I find lots of women sexy. I thought homophobe meant you were afraid of homosexuals? I have some friends that are gay men and I'm not afraid of them.

Well no, I didn't say I was worked into a lather over anything. I am trying to gain understanding and you're grandstanding in my thread.. .trying your best to be a total dick. You've now made snide little comments to me AND OTHERS implying they are "gay" based on something they said... nothing to do with what type of sexual relations they have or desire to have.

I actually think you are a homophobe... a textbook example. You seem to want to hide from the facts of nature. You are a male competing in a world of other males for female companionship and you naturally have an instinct as to what you need to do in order to attract them... if you don't think you have that, maybe you are gay? Now, if you realize that you're a Darwinian creature who has these natural instincts, you can certainly recognize others who have attributes you naturally associate with this... or you're hiding that feeling in denial for some reason... I think it's because you are afraid of being thought of as homosexual... a homophobe.


You didnt have to say you were working yourself into a lather. I can see it by your admitted exasperation and the length of your OP on something that is common knowledge. Now your making references to dicks. Why dont you just admit you are gay or bi? No one cares dude. If your embarrassed about your sexual orientation I promise I wont judge you. Please just dont bullshit me.

Actually I dont mind if you think I'm gay. Its not really a concern of mine. Youre the one denying youre gay or bi. If I were gay I would be proud of it. No matter how you attempt to twist it I simply dont find other males sexually attractive like you have admitted you do. I dont think nature gives you that insight unless you are gay or bi. Sorry man
 
I am serious here... what does it actually mean this day and age? Is a person "gay" because they are attracted to the same gender? Or do they have to act upon their attraction and have a homosexual relationship to qualify? If someone acknowledges that someone of the same gender is sexually appealing, does that make them gay? What if you are physically attracted to both genders? Are you gay by default? Do you have to engage in actual sexual relationships and how far can you go without being actually gay? What if you get turned on by making yourself intentionally attractive to same gender but you're not interested in having sexual relations? Like a gay tease? Is that gay? Does that make you a gay person? What if you enjoy the mystique of the closet gay lifestyle, slipping around and frequenting gay bars to have promiscuous sex with same gender but you are happily married to the opposite gender? Does that mean you're gay or straight? What if you are completely heterosexual but you enjoy entertaining people dressed as a transgender? Are you gay then? What if you are straight but attracted to same gender transsexuals? What if you don't have sex at all and you love all people of both genders and see them as equally appealing sexually? Is that gay? What if you have been straight your entire life, always knew you were straight, never had any desire to be with the same gender physically and you get drunk one night and have homosexual relations... are you made gay by that one-off? What if you're in high school and you don't really know what you are and you experiment with homosexual relations but decide you didn't like it... can you become "ungay" or are you forever gay?

:dunno: Just curious... it seems we've painted ourselves into a rather bigoted corner.

This strikes me as a bit of a troll thread, but I'll respond as though it isn't.

I think that there can be some ambiguity in definition when it comes to sexuality, but basically, being gay is being attracted exclusively to the same gender. Straight, therefore, is being exclusively attracted to the opposite gender.

Of course, changing definitions of gender muddy this.

There can be a lot of middle ground between gay and straight. I think of it as a sliding scale and imagine that most people are at least capable of falling somewhere in the middle, given the right circumstances.

I can't say that I've seen much confusion over what being gay means in a general sense. :dunno:

That's funny because you just gave a very confusing and ambiguous definition of what "gay" really means.

What is confusing and ambiguous about 'being attracted exclusively to the same gender'? I suppose, given the new self-identifying gender terms people are using, I could further clarify and say that it is being attracted exclusively to the same biologic gender.

So you can be banging chicks left and right... biggest man whore around... but if you have attraction to males, even if you don't act on it... you're gay?

Did you miss my use of the word 'exclusively'?

Or are you asking about someone who goes around having sex with people they feel no attraction for?
 
You didnt have to say you were working yourself into a lather. I can see it by your admitted exasperation and the length of your OP on something that is common knowledge. Now your making references to dicks. Why dont you just admit you are gay or bi? No one cares dude. If your embarrassed about your sexual orientation I promise I wont judge you. Please just dont bullshit me.

Well, because I am not sexually attracted to my same gender. I am sexually attracted to the opposite gender. YOU keep making this assumption as if it's some kind of insult to me... it really doesn't bother me, but it makes you look like a complete bigot.

You've already judged me so you promise is totally worthless.

The length of my OP is one paragraph which takes less than a minute to read. It's not lengthy at all. And it's NOT "common knowledge" because I presented a litany of examples which are ambiguous at best. This thread is blowing up with people weighing in with all kinds of opinions on what constitutes "gay" and it's all over the board.
 

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