Many people have not believed in or experienced God before they then believed. These people can relate to both nonbelievers and believers alike as they know first hand what it was like to walk in such sandals.
Those who have never experienced God, however, have no knowledge but that. And they are hardly in a position to know what it is to have a relationship with the living God or to dismiss the experience of those who have such a relationship.
I was a believer for 30+ years. I had spiritual experiences on a daily basis. I concluded, however, after a critical examination of my faith that it was not logical and did not hold together evidentially, and I left the Christian faith back around 2003. I am no longer a Christian, but I still have spiritual experiences.
Your paradigm is limited. Many of us who are non-believers used to be as "faithful" as you.
Sounds like your Faith was in your perception of what you thought God was. It was tested, and you came up short, and you gave up on God. When We choose to believe in something like God, something greater than our comprehension, we accept that we are neither in control, or the final word, just along for the ride, the experience. Do we put Faith in God living in the present, seeing through our own eyes, or continue to jump through hoops, seeing through the eyes of others. Be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth. Witness and tell the truth about what you see, from your own unique perspective. It's a start. We learn as we go. Christianity, like similar Faiths, is a path that transforms, brings into harmony and communion, it is a refining, a process, we go through in life that makes us each better for having gone through it, each test, each stumbling block. Whatever your faith, choose Conscience, feed it, learn from it. There is no harm in that. Learn to trust it, and It will lead you to salvation, enlightenment. The blind cannot lead the blind, each of us has the ability to discern right from wrong, that is what we should be encouraging in each other, inside the Christian perspective or beyond it.