Zone1 Would You Stay With A Compulsive Liar?

[Road Runner]

I find it weird he would just started lying all of a sudden. Must be something going on...

There is. Whether or not it's the source of all the lies I'm not sure so that's why I didn't mention it, but he's going through quite a bit of stress right now. I just don't think that that's an excuse for them though.

 

[BS Filter]

You're wrong on the part where we do love each other as he's shown it in other ways, but you're first sentence is correct but he isn't doing it malicously or anything.

Then he's mentally ill.

 

[Road Runner]

Then he's mentally ill.

Actually he literally is. Meaning he has medical issues that he's on medication for. I'm not all that sure what just some stuff but it's not really mine or anybody else's business. He also has Asperger's and ADHD. None of that is any of his fault but again not condoning the lying part.

 

[TNHarley]

There is. Whether or not it's the source of all the lies I'm not sure so that's why I didn't mention it, but he's going through quite a bit of stress right now. I just don't think that that's an excuse for them though.

Hard to excuse lies.

 

[Road Runner]

Hard to excuse lies.

Yep, but the thing is that I'm giving him a second chance because we're all only human after all and make mistakes, but if it happens after this then it isn't a mistake anymore and then it'll be time to dump him. Even true friends don't continuously lie to one another and yes I already pointed that out to him.


It's just that when you've been together for roughly about fifteen years and friends that long it's something that you don't just want to throw away so quickly.

 

[surada]

I know that most of you on here would probably answer no. I almost did, until I realized how much I love my man, he loves me, and how much we would be lost without one another.


Basically the only issue we have is it's just one lie after another with him. (Okay so sometimes he's a little bit lazy, but that's enough for me for it to be an issue between us.)


Anyways, I figured that the next best thing is that I would show him what his future would be like without me if he continued along this path so for the next few days we'll have no communication whatsoever unless it's absolutely necessary because if this does keep up, I feel like I won't have any other choice.


I'm hoping and praying that it does work so our relationship can be salvaged. Do you guys think that I'm doing the right thing by giving him a second chance by just scaring him straight and not completely ending it off with him?


If all your significant other did was lie to you would you break-up with them or would you be like me and try to find a way to make it work?

In 20 years it may sicken you and make you fearful. Life and family brings responsibilities...lies make it impossibly difficult .

 

[TNHarley]

Yep, but the thing is that I'm giving him a second chance because we're all only human after all and make mistakes, but if it happens after this then it isn't a mistake anymore and then it'll be time to dump him. Even true friends don't continuously lie to one another and yes I already pointed that out to him.


It's just that when you've been together for roughly about fifteen years and friends that long it's something that you don't just want to throw away so quickly.

Good luck

 

[Road Runner]

Good luck

Thank you. I'm just trying to stress upon the part that we've known each other since childhood because that's sort of somewhat different than if I just had met the guy and I don't think that people seem to be understanding that part in this thread.

It doesn't excuse his behavior, but if I had just met him it's like duh I would instantly dump him, but do I really want to throw away a relationship over a decade long if it's something that can be worked out is the true question.

 

[TNHarley]

Thank you. I'm just trying to stress upon the part that we've known each other since childhood because that's sort of somewhat different than if I just had met the guy

I understand. Thats why I said that. Doesnt sound like a good situation.
Hope it all works out!

 

[Road Runner]

I understand. Thats why I said that.

Well I'm glad that you do because a lot of people seem to think that I'm mental for staying with the guy, and I was trying to explain the whole entire situation from the beginning and it just wasn't getting across.

 

[TNHarley]

Well I'm glad that you do because a lot of people seem to think that I'm mental for staying with the guy, and I was trying to explain the whole entire situation from the beginning and it just wasn't getting across.

You have invested much of your life into him. Its worth trying to work it out.
But if it doesnt change, its not worth it.

 

[Road Runner]

I also want to add that at least when he is caught lying he doesn't make excuses for it and owns up to it. It just needs to end completely unless it's used to protect somebody, not hurt somebody.

 

[BS Filter]

Actually he literally is. Meaning he has medical issues that he's on medication for. I'm not all that sure what just some stuff but it's not really mine or anybody else's business. He also has Asperger's and ADHD. None of that is any of his fault but again not condoning the lying part.

Good luck

 

[Tumblin Tumbleweed]

I know that most of you on here would probably answer no. I almost did, until I realized how much I love my man, he loves me, and how much we would be lost without one another.


Basically the only issue we have is it's just one lie after another with him. (Okay so sometimes he's a little bit lazy, but that's enough for me for it to be an issue between us.)


Anyways, I figured that the next best thing is that I would show him what his future would be like without me if he continued along this path so for the next few days we'll have no communication whatsoever unless it's absolutely necessary because if this does keep up, I feel like I won't have any other choice.


I'm hoping and praying that it does work so our relationship can be salvaged. Do you guys think that I'm doing the right thing by giving him a second chance by just scaring him straight and not completely ending it off with him?


If all your significant other did was lie to you would you break-up with them or would you be like me and try to find a way to make it work?

Not the least bit interested in your personal life.

 

[Road Runner]

Not the least bit interested in your personal life.

Then why did you click on this thread in the first place?

 

[Tumblin Tumbleweed]

Then why did you click on this thread in the first place?

Because Zone 1 isn't Dear Abby.

 

[Road Runner]

Because Zone 1 isn't Dear Abby.

That doesn't answer my question. You could have ignored it if it bothered you so much. You had to be at least a little interested to click on it.

 

[task0778]

Would You Stay With A Compulsive Liar?​

Personal relationships that have any quality or sustainment require trust, and dishonesty and deception do not foster trust. In fact over time they destroy it. It isn't just that he lies, but also what is he just not telling you? It may be that breaking up is not only in your best interest but also his, he's got to realize that truth and trust are not optional.

 

[Road Runner]

Would You Stay With A Compulsive Liar?​

Personal relationships that have any quality or sustainment require trust, and dishonesty and deception do not foster trust. In fact over time they destroy it. It isn't just that he lies, but also what is he just not telling you? It may be that breaking up is not only in your best interest but also his, he's got to realize that truth and trust are not optional.

Actually the issue seems resolved now so I ask to close this thread.

 

[katsteve2012]

Closed as requested by OP