Why won't the kids leave home anymore?

[High_Gravity]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

 

[PoliticalChic]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

If I wore a hat, it would be off to you!

But...great post.

Sadly, there is a political philosophy that has taken hold that finds the surrender of responsibility a worthwhile endeavor.

Tocqueville predicted it almost two hundred year ago:

Alexis de Tocqueville, writing “Democracy in America” in the 1830’s, described “an immense, tutelary power, which takes sole charge of assuring their enjoyment and of watching over their fate.” As he predicted, this power is “absolute, attentive to detail, regular, provident, and gentle,” and it “works willingly for their happiness, but it wishes to be the only agent and the sole arbiter of that happiness. It provides for their security, foresees and supplies their needs, guides them in their principal affairs, directs their industry, regulates their testaments, divides their inheritances.” It is entirely proper to ask, as he asked, whether it can “relieve them entirely of the trouble of thinking and of the effort associated with living.”

The current administration memorializes the conscept as follows:
"... the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act extends health care coverage for young adult children under their parent's health plan up to the age of 26."
Dependent Health Coverage (State Implementation)

 

[High_Gravity]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

If I wore a hat, it would be off to you!

But...great post.

Sadly, there is a political philosophy that has taken hold that finds the surrender of responsibility a worthwhile endeavor.

Tocqueville predicted it almost two hundred year ago:

Alexis de Tocqueville, writing “Democracy in America” in the 1830’s, described “an immense, tutelary power, which takes sole charge of assuring their enjoyment and of watching over their fate.” As he predicted, this power is “absolute, attentive to detail, regular, provident, and gentle,” and it “works willingly for their happiness, but it wishes to be the only agent and the sole arbiter of that happiness. It provides for their security, foresees and supplies their needs, guides them in their principal affairs, directs their industry, regulates their testaments, divides their inheritances.” It is entirely proper to ask, as he asked, whether it can “relieve them entirely of the trouble of thinking and of the effort associated with living.”

The current administration memorializes the conscept as follows:
"... the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act extends health care coverage for young adult children under their parent's health plan up to the age of 26."
Dependent Health Coverage (State Implementation)

The goal posts keep being moved, at 1 point when you were 18 you were considered an adult, than it changed to 21, now it looks we are moving the goal posts to 26, what next 30? should our parents be responsible for us until we are 30? In my neighborhood there is a 45 year old ex crack addict who lives with his sister in her home, he sometimes comes around to barrow a smoke or ask for some spare cash but he volunteers to mow the lawn, wash the car if we need it, to make up for it if we give him something, even though this man is a former crack addict he still has a work ethic in there somewhere. There was this 22 year old kid who used to live a few houses down with his mom, they moved a few months ago, he would just come around and ask for money or a ride to the club and not want to give anything back, he just asked and wanted it, thats it. That ex crack addict would at least mow my damn lawn or bag some leaves, this 22 year old clown just wants the fuckin money and a ride to the club, thats it.

 

[Mr Natural]

I don't get it either.

I grew up in the 50s and 60s in one of those idyllic "Leave it to Beaver" households and I couldn't wait to get out and live life on my own terms.

I suspect the economic realities of the 21st century are keeping kids at home longer these days.

 

[strollingbones]

i think people have it too easy at home....my son didnt leave home till he was in his mid 20s....because i wont allow him and his g/f to sleep together... but why leave home when you have all the comforts and none of the expenses...i work with 20 something that live at home and are allowed to have sleep overs...smoke pot...drink...anything they basically want to....they do not pay nor do they work around the house...

i love hearing hg gripe about 'young' people....damn hg is that the old smell on ya...or just good weed?

but i left home at 18 and never stayed more than 3 nights at my parents house since...of course that doesnt matter anymore

 

[strollingbones]

my son is always welcome here...but a live in? no thanks....


mr clean is right...its hard to find a way out with todays economy

 

[High_Gravity]

I don't get it either.

I grew up in the 50s and 60s in one of those idyllic "Leave it to Beaver" households and I couldn't wait to get out and live life on my own terms.

I suspect the economic realities of the 21st century are keeping kids at home longer these days.

You make a good point with the economy, but the people in the examples I listed are not trying in the least bit to get any independence from their mommas.

 

[High_Gravity]

i think people have it too easy at home....my son didnt leave home till he was in his mid 20s....because i wont allow him and his g/f to sleep together... but why leave home when you have all the comforts and none of the expenses...i work with 20 something that live at home and are allowed to have sleep overs...smoke pot...drink...anything they basically want to....they do not pay nor do they work around the house...

i love hearing hg gripe about 'young' people....damn hg is that the old smell on ya...or just good weed?

but i left home at 18 and never stayed more than 3 nights at my parents house since...of course that doesnt matter anymore

HA thats a big reason why I left home at 18, I wanted to have sex with women and sleep with them without worrying about my mom barging in and catching us.

 

[High_Gravity]

Well Bones I am 30 years old now, and when I see all these 20 somethings living at home and not trying to do a damn thing to contribute or change anything I don't find anything in common with them.

 

[strollingbones]

that is as good a reason as any....its funny ....i miss my son.....i think sometimes i wished he still lived here...he worked a lot without bitching....he is the only one who does the yard like i like it....but he came over yesterday and i was like....fuck would you take your bitchy attitude and be gone lol

 

[strollingbones]

Well Bones I am 30 years old now, and when I see all these 20 somethings living at home and not trying to do a damn thing to contribute or change anything I don't find anything in common with them.

lol @ you being a big old 30....honey hush....you aint done yet...none of us are....

age is a funny thing.....as time flies by i find i am just having fun no matter the age...

of course catch me on a cold ass morning when i am moving like a slow mo or on a cold morning when i am soak and wet from watering this and that....

 

[High_Gravity]

that is as good a reason as any....its funny ....i miss my son.....i think sometimes i wished he still lived here...he worked a lot without bitching....he is the only one who does the yard like i like it....but he came over yesterday and i was like....fuck would you take your bitchy attitude and be gone lol

In my opinion when your kids are legally adults and you can't really ground them or have a set bed time anymore its time to go, if a person lives with their parents but has a job and pays rent thats different but just sitting around hitting the bong and playing Playstation 3 while your momma works, cooks, does your laundry etc is not acceptable once you are out of high school.

 

[High_Gravity]

Well Bones I am 30 years old now, and when I see all these 20 somethings living at home and not trying to do a damn thing to contribute or change anything I don't find anything in common with them.

lol @ you being a big old 30....honey hush....you aint done yet...none of us are....

age is a funny thing.....as time flies by i find i am just having fun no matter the age...

of course catch me on a cold ass morning when i am moving like a slow mo or on a cold morning when i am soak and wet from watering this and that....

Well I have never really felt young, when I was 18 I joined the service and I was married at 19, divorced at 24, and during all that I did 7 years in the Military, I never really had the whole youthful 20's without a care in the world type thing.

 

[NLT]

I left home 3 days after graduation from HS. Joined the Navy, got my BS while in the Navy, retired from the Navy. My son is 17 in April and he will join the Navy in June. After 4 years he will return to home go to college and then plans to return to the Navy. My Daughter is 15 and plans to get her RN degree and is welcome to live at home until she does so.

 

[strollingbones]

as long as they are in school i am good with them living at home...but i havent done his laundry since he was like 10...sure we had the gray years...but he learned to do laundry and i learned he looks good in gray ...now he cant cook worth a damn...my bad...yesterday i had started the bacon in the oven...a big pan of it..when he walks in and says 'i was promised breakfast' that kinda started the day on the wrong foot.

 

[Si modo]

Helicopter parents and public schools and higher education caving to them.

 

[High_Gravity]

I left home 3 days after graduation from HS. Joined the Navy, got my BS while in the Navy, retired from the Navy. My son is 17 in April and he will join the Navy in June. After 4 years he will return to home go to college and then plans to return to the Navy. My Daughter is 15 and plans to get her RN degree and is welcome to live at home until she does so.

Sounds like some good plans there.

 

[strollingbones]

damn you know i forgot the divorce and all......but you have lived a fun life...come on hg...some men have never known or will never know the pleasures you have had....you strike me as one who doesnt let the women suffer

 

[strollingbones]

Helicopter parents and public schools and higher education caving to them.

okay my age is showing what are 'helicopter parents'?

 

[High_Gravity]

as long as they are in school i am good with them living at home...but i havent done his laundry since he was like 10...sure we had the gray years...but he learned to do laundry and i learned he looks good in gray ...now he cant cook worth a damn...my bad...yesterday i had started the bacon in the oven...a big pan of it..when he walks in and says 'i was promised breakfast' that kinda started the day on the wrong foot.

Oh I can understand letting them live with you if they are in school, but the 20 somethings I know living at home are not in school and do not have jobs.