Why won't the kids leave home anymore?

[High_Gravity]

A great example!

Here's a TIME article on them: Helicopter Parents: The Backlash Against Overparenting - TIME

There is also a Wiki entry: Helicopter parent - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

From NPR, specifically about these 'kids' in the workplace: Helicopter Parents Hover In The Workplace : NPR

The two best I saw were one in Forbes and one in The Chronicle of Higher Education, but I can't find those.

Imagine you're the professional boss of an entry level 'professional' and his/her parent calls you to tell you not to be so mean to your kid?

I've seen that before, when I was in the Military there was an Airman who just came to the base and was going to be given a nice hefty bonus for his careerfield, his mother called the reenlistments section to find out when her boy was getting his money.

Oh gawd. And, how did his peers react to that? And, he, how did he react?

Yikes.

I would be mortified. And, that is exactly why my 'rents would never have done that.

I worked in the office next door and the people who worked in reenlistments were clowning him, but I never found out if he told his mother to call or if she just did it on her own.

 

[Si modo]

I've seen that before, when I was in the Military there was an Airman who just came to the base and was going to be given a nice hefty bonus for his careerfield, his mother called the reenlistments section to find out when her boy was getting his money.

Oh gawd. And, how did his peers react to that? And, he, how did he react?

Yikes.

I would be mortified. And, that is exactly why my 'rents would never have done that.

I worked in the office next door and the people who worked in reenlistments were clowning him, but I never found out if he told his mother to call or if she just did it on her own.

I'm glad they did clown him.

 

[rightwinger]

I left home 3 days after graduation from HS. Joined the Navy, got my BS while in the Navy, retired from the Navy. My son is 17 in April and he will join the Navy in June. After 4 years he will return to home go to college and then plans to return to the Navy. My Daughter is 15 and plans to get her RN degree and is welcome to live at home until she does so.

I find that kids in my neighborhood who joined the service after High School are also returning home after their enlistment is up. Just like college kids, they are finding that there is not much of a job market for many of the skills they learned in the service

The unemployment rates for Veterans is higher than that of regular civilians, because of the disconnect between the Military and Civilian sectors some civilian employers are hesitant to hire veterans because of PTSD and other issues.

The kid who lives two houses down from me was a two tour Iraq veteran trained as a Marine Corps sniper. Hard duty, but not much demand in the civilian sector. He ended up at Home Depot

 

[High_Gravity]

I find that kids in my neighborhood who joined the service after High School are also returning home after their enlistment is up. Just like college kids, they are finding that there is not much of a job market for many of the skills they learned in the service

The unemployment rates for Veterans is higher than that of regular civilians, because of the disconnect between the Military and Civilian sectors some civilian employers are hesitant to hire veterans because of PTSD and other issues.

The kid who lives two houses down from me was a two tour Iraq veteran trained as a Marine Corps sniper. Hard duty, but not much demand in the civilian sector. He ended up at Home Depot

With that kind of training I would try to get a job with the Police force or as an independent contractor, those skills are highly valuable and shouldn't go to waste at Home Depot.

 

[Zoom-boing]

When I was 12 the only thing I wanted was to be 22 or 23 and out of my parents house. I only got an Assoc. degree because I didn't want to spend 4 years in college before finally being on my own. I moved out at 23 working a full-time job and never, ever looked back. Took advantage of work's tuition reimbursement program and went back to school at night working towards my Bachelor's degree. Got married, started a family and when my youngest was in pre-K went back to school again to finally finish.

My oldest w/be graduating college in two months . . . she can't wait to finally be free of it all and to just be an adult and live her life. I know she wants to move out at some point because she's already mentioned it. Although I did hear her say a few times 'when I'm 28'. What?? Thing is, when she gets a f/t job she will be paying room and board, in addition to the money she still owes us for her car and in addition to her student loans which she'll need to start paying off 6 months after graduation. Yeah, maybe that 28 number was right.

I blame the parents for their offspring who are living at home with no job, no prospects and no cares. If you bake a loaf you end up with a loafer. I've said this many, many times . . . parents need to parent their kids and stop trying to be their friend, stop running every time they run into a problem or make a mistake. For crying out loud, how will the kid ever learn any type of responsibility or self-worth if it's all done for them? A lot of parents need to take a course in "how to say no to your kids".

As for the parents who show up and/or call the offspring's work wanting to know salary/benefits, etc? I'd shoot them. Srsly.

 

[Bookworm]

I want to say something as I am one of “those” people. In fact this thread spurred me to make an account.

I’m twenty seven and still live at home. I’ve never left and it doesn’t look like I will in the near future. I have never worked and currently don’t attend any sort of school. I also don’t drive and wonder if I ever will.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 17. I also have an anxiety disorder and other conditions that make it hard for me to function properly in the real world. Currently I am getting SSI after having been turned down three times.

If I I would have been tossed out at 18 or even at 21, I doubt I would be living as I likely would have killed myself by now. I know I would have been on the streets and homeless. I am just not able to make it on my own. Socially and emotionally I am way behind where I should be. I feel more fourteen and twenty seven. I am just glad my family has been able to see this.

It is not something I am proud of. This isn’t something I want. In fact, I hate that about myself. We have tried to get me some help in at least getting me a job but sadly one place was for severely impaired people and the other was for normal people just out of work. I hope one day to move out on my own and one day maybe I will. That could be when I’m forty though. I honetsly just wish there was more help for people like me.

I’m sure people see me as a lazy or spoiled or that my parents have enabled me. I can come off as having it together in front of people that don’t know me or spend time around me. They don’t see me self-harm because of simple frustrations or cry from anxiety of having to go to Mcdonalds by myself and order food.

.

 

[High_Gravity]

I want to say something as I am one of “those” people. In fact this thread spurred me to make an account.

I’m twenty seven and still live at home. I’ve never left and it doesn’t look like I will in the near future. I have never worked and currently don’t attend any sort of school. I also don’t drive and wonder if I ever will.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 17. I also have an anxiety disorder and other conditions that make it hard for me to function properly in the real world. Currently I am getting SSI after having been turned down three times.

If I I would have been tossed out at 18 or even at 21, I doubt I would be living as I likely would have killed myself by now. I know I would have been on the streets and homeless. I am just not able to make it on my own. Socially and emotionally I am way behind where I should be. I feel more fourteen and twenty seven. I am just glad my family has been able to see this.

It is not something I am proud of. This isn’t something I want. In fact, I hate that about myself. We have tried to get me some help in at least getting me a job but sadly one place was for severely impaired people and the other was for normal people just out of work. I hope one day to move out on my own and one day maybe I will. That could be when I’m forty though. I honetsly just wish there was more help for people like me.

I’m sure people see me as a lazy or spoiled or that my parents have enabled me. I can come off as having it together in front of people that don’t know me or spend time around me. They don’t see me self-harm because of simple frustrations or cry from anxiety of having to go to Mcdonalds by myself and order food.

.

Well if you have a disability that prevents you from living on your own thats something else entirely, the people I am speaking of are able bodied young 20 something adults with no disabilties to speak of.

 

[syrenn]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

I dont think kids leave home these days becasue PARENTS do not encourage them to be adults on their own.

 

[syrenn]

i think people have it too easy at home....my son didnt leave home till he was in his mid 20s....because i wont allow him and his g/f to sleep together... but why leave home when you have all the comforts and none of the expenses...i work with 20 something that live at home and are allowed to have sleep overs...smoke pot...drink...anything they basically want to....they do not pay nor do they work around the house...

i love hearing hg gripe about 'young' people....damn hg is that the old smell on ya...or just good weed?

but i left home at 18 and never stayed more than 3 nights at my parents house since...of course that doesnt matter anymore

lol...i was chomping at the bit to leave home by the time i was about 13. I left when i was 16 and have never been back....

 

[syrenn]

Helicopter parents and public schools and higher education caving to them.

Bingo!

 

[rightwinger]

I want to say something as I am one of “those” people. In fact this thread spurred me to make an account.

I’m twenty seven and still live at home. I’ve never left and it doesn’t look like I will in the near future. I have never worked and currently don’t attend any sort of school. I also don’t drive and wonder if I ever will.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 17. I also have an anxiety disorder and other conditions that make it hard for me to function properly in the real world. Currently I am getting SSI after having been turned down three times.

If I I would have been tossed out at 18 or even at 21, I doubt I would be living as I likely would have killed myself by now. I know I would have been on the streets and homeless. I am just not able to make it on my own. Socially and emotionally I am way behind where I should be. I feel more fourteen and twenty seven. I am just glad my family has been able to see this.

It is not something I am proud of. This isn’t something I want. In fact, I hate that about myself. We have tried to get me some help in at least getting me a job but sadly one place was for severely impaired people and the other was for normal people just out of work. I hope one day to move out on my own and one day maybe I will. That could be when I’m forty though. I honetsly just wish there was more help for people like me.

I’m sure people see me as a lazy or spoiled or that my parents have enabled me. I can come off as having it together in front of people that don’t know me or spend time around me. They don’t see me self-harm because of simple frustrations or cry from anxiety of having to go to Mcdonalds by myself and order food.

.

You have a handicap. But it doesn't mean you can't function in society. Many people with more challenges than you are able to function. Not every job requires social interaction. You need to train for one that doesn't.
You seem miserable and not having a future contributes to it. Find a low paying job that gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Take night classes.
You are too young to be cashing in your chips and live off of disability

 

[Bookworm]

I want to say something as I am one of “those” people. In fact this thread spurred me to make an account.

I’m twenty seven and still live at home. I’ve never left and it doesn’t look like I will in the near future. I have never worked and currently don’t attend any sort of school. I also don’t drive and wonder if I ever will.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 17. I also have an anxiety disorder and other conditions that make it hard for me to function properly in the real world. Currently I am getting SSI after having been turned down three times.

If I I would have been tossed out at 18 or even at 21, I doubt I would be living as I likely would have killed myself by now. I know I would have been on the streets and homeless. I am just not able to make it on my own. Socially and emotionally I am way behind where I should be. I feel more fourteen and twenty seven. I am just glad my family has been able to see this.

It is not something I am proud of. This isn’t something I want. In fact, I hate that about myself. We have tried to get me some help in at least getting me a job but sadly one place was for severely impaired people and the other was for normal people just out of work. I hope one day to move out on my own and one day maybe I will. That could be when I’m forty though. I honetsly just wish there was more help for people like me.

I’m sure people see me as a lazy or spoiled or that my parents have enabled me. I can come off as having it together in front of people that don’t know me or spend time around me. They don’t see me self-harm because of simple frustrations or cry from anxiety of having to go to Mcdonalds by myself and order food.

.

You have a handicap. But it doesn't mean you can't function in society. Many people with more challenges than you are able to function. Not every job requires social interaction. You need to train for one that doesn't.
You seem miserable and not having a future contributes to it. Find a low paying job that gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Take night classes.
You are too young to be cashing in your chips and live off of disability

I didn't say I couldn't. I just need a little help in getting me there. Living in a small twon does not equal a lof of job opportunities. Driving would help and we are looking into specialed instructors that can help me out. As I mentioned we have tried to get me some help in obtaining a job but we had no luck from the centers/places we went. I know there are jobs I could do and I would like to try, the big factor is finding the job and then getting it.

I don't want to live on disability forever.

 

[rightwinger]

I want to say something as I am one of “those” people. In fact this thread spurred me to make an account.

I’m twenty seven and still live at home. I’ve never left and it doesn’t look like I will in the near future. I have never worked and currently don’t attend any sort of school. I also don’t drive and wonder if I ever will.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 17. I also have an anxiety disorder and other conditions that make it hard for me to function properly in the real world. Currently I am getting SSI after having been turned down three times.

If I I would have been tossed out at 18 or even at 21, I doubt I would be living as I likely would have killed myself by now. I know I would have been on the streets and homeless. I am just not able to make it on my own. Socially and emotionally I am way behind where I should be. I feel more fourteen and twenty seven. I am just glad my family has been able to see this.

It is not something I am proud of. This isn’t something I want. In fact, I hate that about myself. We have tried to get me some help in at least getting me a job but sadly one place was for severely impaired people and the other was for normal people just out of work. I hope one day to move out on my own and one day maybe I will. That could be when I’m forty though. I honetsly just wish there was more help for people like me.

I’m sure people see me as a lazy or spoiled or that my parents have enabled me. I can come off as having it together in front of people that don’t know me or spend time around me. They don’t see me self-harm because of simple frustrations or cry from anxiety of having to go to Mcdonalds by myself and order food.

.

You have a handicap. But it doesn't mean you can't function in society. Many people with more challenges than you are able to function. Not every job requires social interaction. You need to train for one that doesn't.
You seem miserable and not having a future contributes to it. Find a low paying job that gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Take night classes.
You are too young to be cashing in your chips and live off of disability

I didn't say I couldn't. I just need a little help in getting me there. Living in a small twon does not equal a lof of job opportunities. Driving would help and we are looking into specialed instructors that can help me out. As I mentioned we have tried to get me some help in obtaining a job but we had no luck from the centers/places we went. I know there are jobs I could do and I would like to try, the big factor is finding the job and then getting it.

I don't want to live on disability forever.

In reading your two post you write as well or better than half the people on this board. You can get work that requires working primarily on a computer and allows you to work on your own pace
To me, it seems you are more scared than incapable of finding a good job.

 

[pfuzzy57]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

Why not? They can stay on their parent's medical insurance until they're 26, they don't have to pay rent unless their parents insist, they don't have to buy food or otherwise be responsible for themselves. They can have 3 kids living with grandma and grandpa and don't have to pay for babysitting.

I also joined the AF. I was responsible for my own life, not my parents. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Besides that, I come from a small city in Vermont and there really wasn't much work there.

These kids need to find a life.

 

[High_Gravity]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

Why not? They can stay on their parent's medical insurance until they're 26, they don't have to pay rent unless their parents insist, they don't have to buy food or otherwise be responsible for themselves. They can have 3 kids living with grandma and grandpa and don't have to pay for babysitting.

I also joined the AF. I was responsible for my own life, not my parents. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Besides that, I come from a small city in Vermont and there really wasn't much work there.

These kids need to find a life.

I remember when I was in Elementary school back in the 90's the kids in high school I talked to always were talking about what they were going to do when they graduated high school, how they couldn't wait to move out, etc etc, I don't really get that kind of vibe anymore from the high school kids I do see here loitering about, most of them are just fine to stay living with momma.

 

[PoliticalChic]

You have a handicap. But it doesn't mean you can't function in society. Many people with more challenges than you are able to function. Not every job requires social interaction. You need to train for one that doesn't.
You seem miserable and not having a future contributes to it. Find a low paying job that gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Take night classes.
You are too young to be cashing in your chips and live off of disability

I didn't say I couldn't. I just need a little help in getting me there. Living in a small twon does not equal a lof of job opportunities. Driving would help and we are looking into specialed instructors that can help me out. As I mentioned we have tried to get me some help in obtaining a job but we had no luck from the centers/places we went. I know there are jobs I could do and I would like to try, the big factor is finding the job and then getting it.

I don't want to live on disability forever.

In reading your two post you write as well or better than half the people on this board. You can get work that requires working primarily on a computer and allows you to work on your own pace
To me, it seems you are more scared than incapable of finding a good job.

Hmmmm.....maybe you really are a Right-winger.....

 

[PoliticalChic]

I have noticed a disturbing trend of young adults in their 20's who still live with their parents or a parent, and they seem content to stay in that situation. When I was 18 I joined the Air Force and left home, never looked back. These days I don't really see that desire to be self efficient and independent, alot of people are fine just staying at home. For example I bought some couch's from an older couple that lives a few blocks down from me, when I went to their house to fetch the coaches I saw they had their 21 year old daughter living with them pregnant, after talking to her father the story I got is she was in college and her boyfriend got her pregnant and now she moved back home to have the baby, this was not a temporary thing because I still see her living there with the baby, with her older parents. A friend of mine has never left home, he is 25 years old and has 3 kids, him and his girlfriend live at his mothers house with the kids, he tried to join the Army but was turned down because he had a DUI and they found weed in the car, the Army told him to try to get his record expunged but of course he never did it, whats wrong with young people these days? does everyone want to be Peter Pan?

Why not? They can stay on their parent's medical insurance until they're 26, they don't have to pay rent unless their parents insist, they don't have to buy food or otherwise be responsible for themselves. They can have 3 kids living with grandma and grandpa and don't have to pay for babysitting.

I also joined the AF. I was responsible for my own life, not my parents. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Besides that, I come from a small city in Vermont and there really wasn't much work there.

These kids need to find a life.

I remember when I was in Elementary school back in the 90's the kids in high school I talked to always were talking about what they were going to do when they graduated high school, how they couldn't wait to move out, etc etc, I don't really get that kind of vibe anymore from the high school kids I do see here loitering about, most of them are just fine to stay living with momma.

It's a generalization of the concept of victimhood......

'I can't' rather than the ol' 'can do.'

 

[merrill]

Criticize all day long however things have changed = the American dream has disappeared.

Think lack of jobs that are worth a damn or even exist. They are not around. No work no money = thisi is not the american dream that politicians and white collar crooked bankers keep shoving in our faces.

Plenty of people graduate from college but the jobs are not available like they were 40 years ago.

What happened:

The USA cannot employ the world much less the 23 million people out of work due to the Reagan/Bush Global Economy in which the chief export was USA industry and Jobs. This is supported with a USA tax break on profits made abroad.

Fueling the USA export of industry and jobs were the hostile takeovers,leveraged buyouts and merger mania that took center stage during the Reagan/Bush and Bush/Quale era.

Corporations decided that BORROWING wayyyyyyy too much money to acquire corporations they knew nothing about required that they reduce expenses by moving abroad into the slave labor markets.

So it appears as though USA banks have been making reckless loans for more than 33 years.

Guess what? On the horizon is a big problem. Yes commercial properties owe more money than they are worth or were worth the money loaned in the first place. Kinda like the repubs home loan fiasco under Bush/Cheney eh?

On the horizon is another scam that has been perpetrated by the financial industry on the consumers. REVERSE MORTGAGES is putting more and more and more people out of their homes due to shady shady sales techniques.

Another matter which has been putting large numbers of working middle class people out of their homes is an act known as bankruptcy. Bankruptcy as a result of medical care. The icing on the cake for these working middle class homeowners is they had been paying out thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars for medical insurance for several years. Out of nowhere or somewhere in the small print the medical insurance industry cut them off.

As a result of the Global Economy,shady reverse mortgage scams, shady medical insurance scams,shady savings and loan scams and recent home loan scams there are millions of homes on the market losing value and commercial properties losing value daily.

Thank you Reagan,Bush and Bush.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Why should they leave home? Free meals. Free maid service. Free everything. Who would leave such a nice set up?

 

[High_Gravity]

Why should they leave home? Free meals. Free maid service. Free everything. Who would leave such a nice set up?

Well when you put it like that, but what happens when the parents get old, cannot work and eventually pass on? how will these mommas boys provide for themselves? our parents aren't going to live forever.