Why Do Christians Grieve?

[Cecilie1200]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

(After having deleted the incredibly offensive and childishly unacceptable attempts at snarky humor)

Here's the answer, not that I think you're mature enough or bright enough to comprehend it.

We fear death because dying hurts. There are very, VERY few pleasant ways to separate a human body from living, and the vast majority not only hurt, but hurt in amazing and profound amounts. Just because I want to go to Heaven doesn't mean I'm eager to get hit by a bus. Duhhh.

We also aren't eager to die because we don't want to leave the people we love behind. However strongly one believes in Heaven and the afterlife, this world is all we've ever known, and our loved ones exert a powerful draw on us.

Third, God designed human beings with a self-preservative instinct that makes us avoid death. It's programmed into us, and is actually a sin to seek to end our lives early. We're here for a purpose, HIS purpose, and many of us have a personal commitment to our missions, whatever they are, that makes us not want to leave it unfinished.

We grieve for our loved ones, the Christian ones, not because we're sad for THEM, but because our world and our lives are poorer for their absence. Obviously. It's the same reason non-Christians grieve.

We react with outrage when people are killed because humans are not God, and it is not our place to take lives. Plus, murder is a sin, and we hate sin.

As for happy and rejoicing, let me tell you about my father's funeral. My father was the closest thing to a saint I ever knew, and that wasn't just my opinion. He was a devout Christian of the type that other people aspire to be and never achieve. The last ten years of his life were spent in a nursing home, where he gradually lost the ability to speak, to move anything but his head and one arm, and even to swallow properly. When he finally passed away, about half the people at his funeral were employees of the nursing home. If you know anything about those who care for the elderly, you know that they don't generally attend funerals of non-relatives, because if they did, they'd never do anything else. But they came to his, and every one of them stood up to tell us how much my father meant to them and how he had changed their lives. This, without the ability to speak.

My father's funeral was the most triumphant, joyous event I ever saw. Oh, sure, there were tears, because you don't lose someone like that from your life and not miss them, but there was no doubt in anyone's mind that his life had been a complete success by any measure that mattered, and that if anyone ever went to Heaven, Dad did. (I say "if" because not everyone there was a Christian.)

So take that, shove it in your "why do Christians grieve?" pipe, and smoke it. Oh, and next time you ask a question about people you know nothing about, ask politely with some recognition of the fact that you know nothing.

 

[Immanuel]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?
**snip**

See, you are looking for people to doubt their religion, and you don't think that's an attack?

Do you think its an attack? Or a reaffirmation?

I think it's clear, YOU are attacking people for their religious beliefs...you weren't interested in getting an answer, you only wanted to find a chink in someone's belief so you could attack it. You have as much as admitted that.

I think CMM asked a good question and as a Christian myself, I didn't take it as an attack although I must admit to not having been around much and not knowing his style at all.

I've asked the question before myself. If we truly believe the scriptures then why do we grieve at the loss of a loved one. We should be celebrating their entrance into the Kingdom of God rather than mourning our loss. But that is hard, and I have to admit part of me wonders if it is not in fact some form of doubt.

I can only pray that all doubts will be relieved when the time come, but for any Christian to claim they have absolutely no doubts whatsoever seems to me to be almost sacreligous (okay, I know that is not spelled right but screw it, I'm not going to dictionary.com!) Doubt is just one form of temptation that we need to overcome in the trials of life and if you do believe, you will believe that God will provide a way through it, see 1 Cor 10:13.

Immie

 

[dilloduck]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

"Hey, the terrorists just bombed us! Yay!"
********************************

"Hey, Christy!"

"Hi!"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My kid just choked on a lincoln log and died!"

"Oh, you must be so proud!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"
**********************************

They use grief to hide their ecstasy. If other people saw them so excited over a death they could be persecuted, tortured or even---------------------------- made fun of.

 

[auditor0007]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

"Hey, the terrorists just bombed us! Yay!"
********************************

"Hey, Christy!"

"Hi!"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My kid just choked on a lincoln log and died!"

"Oh, you must be so proud!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"
**********************************

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og_ovYodzrw]YouTube - Kenny Chesney - Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven[/ame]

 

[auditor0007]

Grieving stems from the fear of death, the unknown, in spite of all the faith and religious views no one truly knows what happens after death, and this scares them. Grieving itself isn't bad, it's the "holding onto" the life lost that is often unhealthy, many times turning into obsession. One of my best friends died a while ago, our little group went to the funeral, but right after we all went to celebrate ... you know what, we felt great the next day and talked about all the fun we had when she was alive. We remembered her, and many still do, but we also know you cannot dwell on it too much. Missing them is fine, but no one should ever "leave a hole" in you if they leave your presence in any way, clinging to the past like that, focusing on the one final event, trivializes the persons life, making what they did while living meaningless.

Have you ever lost someone very close to you? It leaves a hole whether you want it to or not.

 

[auditor0007]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

Actually, that's the jist of it. When you lose someone close it hurts like hell because you know you're going to spend the rest of your life without them. I've been there.

 

[auditor0007]

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

Sorry, but you can't equate a friend moving to another country with the losing your wife/husband or child to death. It's just not the same.

 

[auditor0007]

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

If there is no afterlife, then we will never know the difference. My assumption is that there is something more. When my wife died, it was my loss, and my children's loss. Many of us go through the questions of why, and that it doesn't seem fair, but it still boils down to our loss. My wife battled with leukemia for nearly one year. What she went through trying to beat it was much worse than dying. Her death was a relief, even if there is nothing beyond that. My pain was my for myself and my kids.

I have plenty of reasons, I consider it proof enough, to believe that there is something beyond. I don't try to convince anyone of it. Do I have doubts at times? I think all of us do unless we have been so thoroughly indoctrinated into believing what we believe. I think that those who question this, and still come to the conclusion that there is something more, are better equipped to deal with situations that might challenge our beliefs.

 

[auditor0007]

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

Because your friend in Botswana is still alive and even though you suspect you will never see him/her again, you don't know that and you do know that you can contact him/her anytime you really want to. That isn't available if your friend is dead.

You grieve because your loved one is no longer with you, you don't grieve for the departed, they are already gone nothing you can do will affect them. It doesn't matter if you believe in an afterlife or not.

My Aunt knew she was dying and held a "celebration" of her life. We all went to see her one last time. She was happy to see us all and we were happy to see her. When she died, there was no funeral, she didn't want one, she felt she'd already had it. She wanted a wake, and she wanted to be there. It's wonderful that she was able to have her wishes fulfilled. I hope I can do the same when my time comes. I don't want a funeral, I want a party.

Now we are back to the fact that you don't really want an answer to your question, you just wanted to find another way to attack religion.

I don't think he's attacking religion so much as he is confused. For those who need absolute proof, there just is none. I usually ask people who don't believe whether they think we just came about as a complete accident. Take a look at everything that was necessary for us to exist at all. Was it all just by luck? As big as our universe is, and we really don't even know the answer to that, what lies beyond our universe? If it started out as a big bang 15 billion years ago, what was there before?

Who knows? Maybe God is some high school student in a universe much bigger than our own and we're his high school science fair project.

 

[auditor0007]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

when you lose someone you love, like a parent or spouse, you'll realize how wrong you are. i'm not criticizing you, BTW, you just haven't had that experience yet. you'll grieve because that person is no longer in your life.
religion, or lack of it, really has almost nothing to do with it, being human does.

Another question to think about in your search for answers MounainMan; why do we have the capacity to love and hate or to feel any emotions at all? These are not necessary to for life to exist.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

Another question to think about in your search for answers MounainMan; why do we have the capacity to love and hate or to feel any emotions at all? These are not necessary to for life to exist.

I have to disagree. Love, hate, and all emotions are necessary for complex life forms with our physiology and developmental processes. Caring for the young, living in tribes, defending your children and tribe against other tribes and predators, the motivation to seek food, water, shelter. Do you know Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? Love is necessary for healthy development. From evolutionary science, emotions and the capacity to love make sense. So does the appreciation of beauty. It may not be scientifically provable, but the explanation I heard, which I can't remember at the moment, made such logical sense to me.

But, about loss. You're right. I haven't lost anyone close to me. And I'm sorry to hear about your wife.

Thanks for the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Amanda]

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

If there is no afterlife, then we will never know the difference. My assumption is that there is something more. When my wife died, it was my loss, and my children's loss. Many of us go through the questions of why, and that it doesn't seem fair, but it still boils down to our loss. My wife battled with leukemia for nearly one year. What she went through trying to beat it was much worse than dying. Her death was a relief, even if there is nothing beyond that. My pain was my for myself and my kids.

I have plenty of reasons, I consider it proof enough, to believe that there is something beyond. I don't try to convince anyone of it. Do I have doubts at times? I think all of us do unless we have been so thoroughly indoctrinated into believing what we believe. I think that those who question this, and still come to the conclusion that there is something more, are better equipped to deal with situations that might challenge our beliefs.

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. I don't know if I could deal with such a tragedy, you have my most heartfelt sympathy.

 

[Amanda]

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

Because your friend in Botswana is still alive and even though you suspect you will never see him/her again, you don't know that and you do know that you can contact him/her anytime you really want to. That isn't available if your friend is dead.

You grieve because your loved one is no longer with you, you don't grieve for the departed, they are already gone nothing you can do will affect them. It doesn't matter if you believe in an afterlife or not.

My Aunt knew she was dying and held a "celebration" of her life. We all went to see her one last time. She was happy to see us all and we were happy to see her. When she died, there was no funeral, she didn't want one, she felt she'd already had it. She wanted a wake, and she wanted to be there. It's wonderful that she was able to have her wishes fulfilled. I hope I can do the same when my time comes. I don't want a funeral, I want a party.

Now we are back to the fact that you don't really want an answer to your question, you just wanted to find another way to attack religion.

I don't think he's attacking religion so much as he is confused. For those who need absolute proof, there just is none. I usually ask people who don't believe whether they think we just came about as a complete accident. Take a look at everything that was necessary for us to exist at all. Was it all just by luck? As big as our universe is, and we really don't even know the answer to that, what lies beyond our universe? If it started out as a big bang 15 billion years ago, what was there before?

Who knows? Maybe God is some high school student in a universe much bigger than our own and we're his high school science fair project.

I think about that sometimes. But I don't think so. I think it's more like a garden, God cares for us and wants us to succeed. We disappoint God with our shortcomings but God doesn't just watch impassively, God loves us, loves us so unconditionally we can't even imagine a love so pure. When we love, love conditionally we become as close to God as we can be. When we love so truly we would give anything without expectation of any reciprocation we approach a higher place. I pray we can all reach that place someday. I think when we die we enter into a place where we can truly know Gods love and I hope your wife is there now waiting for you.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

"Hey, the terrorists just bombed us! Yay!"
********************************

"Hey, Christy!"

"Hi!"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My kid just choked on a lincoln log and died!"

"Oh, you must be so proud!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"
**********************************

Until the day of Judgement NO ONE except Jesus has ascended to Heaven. Further only 144000 will EVER ascend to Heaven. The rest will reside on a paradise earth ruled by Jesus as their King.

Also until Judgement Day no one knows who is and who is not going to receive everlasting life. With one exception. The Thief on the Stake beside Jesus at his Crucifiction.

 

[Amanda]

Another question to think about in your search for answers MounainMan; why do we have the capacity to love and hate or to feel any emotions at all? These are not necessary to for life to exist.

I have to disagree. Love, hate, and all emotions are necessary for complex life forms with our physiology and developmental processes. Caring for the young, living in tribes, defending your children and tribe against other tribes and predators, the motivation to seek food, water, shelter. Do you know Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? Love is necessary for healthy development. From evolutionary science, emotions and the capacity to love make sense. So does the appreciation of beauty. It may not be scientifically provable, but the explanation I heard, which I can't remember at the moment, made such logical sense to me.

But, about loss. You're right. I haven't lost anyone close to me. And I'm sorry to hear about your wife.

Thanks for the benefit of the doubt.

I think when we feel loss we're feeling a tiny bit of God. The feeling is so profound it transcends being merely human. The hurt and disappointment of loss while being so difficult is also such a pure emotion it must be a glimpse of truth. When I've felt it, it hurt so bad I thought I wanted to die to make it stop, but I'm glad I lived through it. It's so hard to articulate I can't do it justice... I'm at a loss.

 

[auditor0007]

Because your friend in Botswana is still alive and even though you suspect you will never see him/her again, you don't know that and you do know that you can contact him/her anytime you really want to. That isn't available if your friend is dead.

You grieve because your loved one is no longer with you, you don't grieve for the departed, they are already gone nothing you can do will affect them. It doesn't matter if you believe in an afterlife or not.

My Aunt knew she was dying and held a "celebration" of her life. We all went to see her one last time. She was happy to see us all and we were happy to see her. When she died, there was no funeral, she didn't want one, she felt she'd already had it. She wanted a wake, and she wanted to be there. It's wonderful that she was able to have her wishes fulfilled. I hope I can do the same when my time comes. I don't want a funeral, I want a party.

Now we are back to the fact that you don't really want an answer to your question, you just wanted to find another way to attack religion.

I don't think he's attacking religion so much as he is confused. For those who need absolute proof, there just is none. I usually ask people who don't believe whether they think we just came about as a complete accident. Take a look at everything that was necessary for us to exist at all. Was it all just by luck? As big as our universe is, and we really don't even know the answer to that, what lies beyond our universe? If it started out as a big bang 15 billion years ago, what was there before?

Who knows? Maybe God is some high school student in a universe much bigger than our own and we're his high school science fair project.

I think about that sometimes. But I don't think so. I think it's more like a garden, God cares for us and wants us to succeed. We disappoint God with our shortcomings but God doesn't just watch impassively, God loves us, loves us so unconditionally we can't even imagine a love so pure. When we love, love conditionally we become as close to God as we can be. When we love so truly we would give anything without expectation of any reciprocation we approach a higher place. I pray we can all reach that place someday. I think when we die we enter into a place where we can truly know Gods love and I hope your wife is there now waiting for you.

In the end, I believe that we didn't come about as an accident. I do believe there is something beyond this; I just don't know exactly how it will be or what it will be.

 

[LiveUninhibited]

*smrks* Funny thing, I don't fear death. What I do fear is living forever myself. I welcome the chance to move from this life, no matter what is next it can't be much worse. The only thing I do fear that's related is pain, when I die I want it to be completely painless ... ground zero of a nuclear holocaust would be perfect, or if my brain just stopped, something like that. Jumping off a building .. ouch. Gun shot ... BIG ouch. Poison even hurts. But the death itself ... bring it on!

Most likely you simply cease to exist. I find non-existence much more scary than being tortured eternally. So I'd love to be wrong. But I can't believe another way out of sheer want.

Think about this, even if you don't believe in an afterlife, as long as you are remembered, a part of you will live on.

I don't get that perspective. If you don't exist it doesn't matter to you. Nothing would matter to you any more than it does to a rock.

when you lose someone you love, like a parent or spouse, you'll realize how wrong you are. i'm not criticizing you, BTW, you just haven't had that experience yet. you'll grieve because that person is no longer in your life.
religion, or lack of it, really has almost nothing to do with it, being human does.

Which brings us back to the point that he only asked the question so he could find a way to attack religion.

i don't know that, but i think it's odd that he thinks only religious people grieve.

No he was saying it seems, at least superficially, illogical for them to grieve because the "loss" is not permanent, as it would be when you believe there is probably no afterlife. Somebody close to you going on a long vacation far away to a place you will move to at some uncertain date within limits would be a great analogy. Sure I'd miss them, but I don't know if grief would mean quite the same thing to me as when somebody I care about ceases to exist.

 

[catzmeow]

Christians are encouraged to question their beliefs.

"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good."
1 Thessalonians 5:21

Truer in theory than in practice.

 

[Care4all]

i was in my twenties, not married to matt yet, and his father passed on from cancer, he was 6'4'', weighing 87 lbs when he died...

i was cyring my eyes out...during the funeral and then again back at matt's family's house, that was filled with his brother and sister and mom and brother's family and with his dad's grandkids etc...

and no one seemed to be grieving who was related to him...but me...( I had walked away from the Church or Religion for about 8 years at this point.) I knew how much Matt was going to miss his dad, and how sad it was that matt lost his dad while he was still so young and that my nephew who was only 13 at the time and was being reared by matthew's parents was going to miss him as well, it just overwhelmed me...the sadness, I felt, for everyone involved.)

But no one, no one in his family was crying, but me....????

Eventually it became late and Matthew was going to drive me home to my place...and as we were leaving, i mustered up enough courage to ask his mom and brother and sister all sitting on the couch...

Why aren't any of you crying....?

And they all answered, because they knew he was "saved" and that he was moving on to a better place, without pain...they said, they knew he would be seeing God.

Now coming from a Catholic background, at least on my mother's part....i didn't even know what the term "saved" meant....but i kinda figured it out...

Anyway....when i went home that night and after matt had left, I layed there and wondered about what his family had said that evening...i so wished I understood the peace and comfort they felt in their mourning instead of the heavy, sad feelings i felt....which could be described as nothing less than complete doubt of an ever after....even if on the surface this may not have shown its face...it is what i was feeling inside and it is what made me so sad with Matt's dad's death.

If someone were to ask me, what made me change and search for the self within my self...or what drew me back to God and all the questions I had regarding him and religion, it was this one incident...with a long and winding, 10 year road afterwards in my search.

"Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted."

I wanted to find that comfort that they all had.....

Care

 

[auditor0007]

i was in my twenties, not married to matt yet, and his father passed on from cancer, he was 6'4'', weighing 87 lbs when he died...

i was cyring my eyes out...during the funeral and then again back at matt's family's house, that was filled with his brother and sister and mom and brother's family and with his dad's grandkids etc...

and no one seemed to be grieving who was related to him...but me...( I had walked away from the Church or Religion for about 8 years at this point.) I knew how much Matt was going to miss his dad, and how sad it was that matt lost his dad while he was still so young and that my nephew who was only 13 at the time and was being reared by matthew's parents was going to miss him as well, it just overwhelmed me...the sadness, I felt, for everyone involved.)

But no one, no one in his family was crying, but me....????

Eventually it became late and Matthew was going to drive me home to my place...and as we were leaving, i mustered up enough courage to ask his mom and brother and sister all sitting on the couch...

Why aren't any of you crying....?

And they all answered, because they knew he was "saved" and that he was moving on to a better place, without pain...they said, they knew he would be seeing God.

Now coming from a Catholic background, at least on my mother's part....i didn't even know what the term "saved" meant....but i kinda figured it out...

Anyway....when i went home that night and after matt had left, I layed there and wondered about what his family had said that evening...i so wished I understood the peace and comfort they felt in their mourning instead of the heavy, sad feelings i felt....which could be described as nothing less than complete doubt of an ever after....even if on the surface this may not have shown its face...it is what i was feeling inside and it is what made me so sad with Matt's dad's death.

If someone were to ask me, what made me change and search for the self within my self...or what drew me back to God and all the questions I had regarding him and religion, it was this one incident...with a long and winding, 10 year road afterwards in my search.

"Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted."

I wanted to find that comfort that they all had.....

Care

People with faith still will grieve, although it may not seem so at times. I only cried once after my wife passed, but I was miserable for a long time after. It really got bad after six months when I finally realized I would never see her again on this Earth.

At the same time, I was thankful that she was able to die, because she was in so much pain. I think when we see someone we love in that much pain, we get to the point where we realize it is better for them to go. Losing someone in an accident who is completely healthy, I believe, presents a greater challenge. We are more likely to question why someone so full of life would be taken away for no apparent reason.