When men don’t want sex

[Si modo]

What 'men' don't want sex?

Never met one.

I'm confused.

ALL men have times when they're just not in the mood. Can you imagine getting horny while you're in the hospital, trying to pass kidney stones?

Well, ya got me there. LOL!

Brava!

 

[xsited1]

What 'men' don't want sex?

Never met one.

I'm confused.

ALL men have times when they're just not in the mood. Can you imagine getting horny while you're in the hospital, trying to pass kidney stones?

Nonsense. Men would find a way to pass the kidney stone and have sex at the same time.

 

[Si modo]

What 'men' don't want sex?

Never met one.

I'm confused.

ALL men have times when they're just not in the mood. Can you imagine getting horny while you're in the hospital, trying to pass kidney stones?

Nonsense. Men would find a way to pass the kidney stone and have sex at the same time.

Or at a minimum, take a rain check.

 

[Cecilie1200]

ALL men have times when they're just not in the mood. Can you imagine getting horny while you're in the hospital, trying to pass kidney stones?

Nonsense. Men would find a way to pass the kidney stone and have sex at the same time.

Or at a minimum, take a rain check.

Well, yeah. No one said not being in the mood at the moment precludes rainchecks.

 

[The Gadfly]

Cecilie,
Was it rule #5 you "know of some exceptions to"? What would those be? I'm not sure I get where you're going with that.

 

[Anachronism]

OK, Anachronism, we've actually got a pretty good foundation here, You're in shape, you know how to dress; doesn't look like you're terribly shy; so actually we have a lot of positives to work from; so most of this is going to be fine-tuning some things.

All true, except possibly the last. Never been terribly good at approaching women. Probably has a lot to do with getting shot down so many times early in life.

Some little things: If the gun is a professional requirement you may not have much choice in what you carry; if you do, one of the smaller Glocks, or even a Walther PPK works in a shoulder holster, or perhaps even an ankle holster.

The gun is a lifestyle necessity. I don't go many place without it. Generally a compact semi-auto or small frame revolver. They all tuck in nicely to the hip, but it does limit clothing options to a certain degree. I'm not "deep" enough for a shoulder rig, and ankle holsters are a lot better in movies than in reality. I have started moving towards IWB (inside the waistband) holsters for at least one of the guns.

I had to look up S-W. How's you mobility? If that's OK, how about your dancing skills? If OK you could work on improving those, can't hurt.

My mobility is fine. As I said, I've got a minor case of it, thankfully. I can slow dance decently, but any sort of modern dancing, I'm so far out of my element it isn't even funny.

Cologne-can you think of something you almost liked? Maybe we can work from there. Hair-any chance you could use a hairpiece or weave; some they have now, you can even swim in; they've gotten better.

I've got something around here somewhere (I have to find it again), but once that runs out I'll be back to square one, since I don't think it's made anymore. The hair is gonna be what it's gonna be. I don't have the time, energy, or money to fool around with that stuff.

Now on to some more important issues. How about we take your appearance as what it is, and focus on personality and attitude. What have you gotten positive feedback on? Do you have a good sense of humor? Women love guys who can make them laugh. Have you got a quick wit?Can you put a woman at ease in conversation? Do you maintain eye contact when conversing? How are your converation skills-can you converse intelligently on a variety of subjects? I'm betting the answer on some of these are yes, so let's focus first,on what makes you a "great date", and see if we can polish those up just a bit. By the way, while there ARE shallow women, women generally look beyond the superficial better than we guys do. See, we frogs, have a prince inside, and the key is to get them focusing on that, instead of the frog exterior. It can be done. I have a friend who's totally blind, yet within five minutes of being around him, most people forget Chris can't see; he has them focused on what he's saying, not his eyes.The thing is, you want them to focus on YOUR strong points; if that's personality, that's where you want them to focus.

The positive feedback generally comes on my dress, my attention to details, politeness, ability to carry on a conversation, and the attention that I pay to whomever I'm out with. The "friendship" qualities, if you will.

What tends to kill me is the fact that I am upfront and honest about the fact that I'm looking for a long-term relationship, not some sort of casual dating thing, and that I'm something of a traditionalist/misogynist. I don't go out of my way to bring these things up, but when the topics do come up, I don't lie or tell half-truths about them either.

One more little thing. You should NEVER be "Not hunting". Of course you are. Even when not at a bar or a party, opportunities arise, and you want to be prepared for them. Don't laugh; I know one guy, who met his "dream girl" (now his wife), quite literally by bumping into her when he rounded a corner on a busy sidewalk. He helped her pick up some things she dropped, asked her to have a cup of coffee, and the rest, as they say, is history. Always be ready...because you just never know.

My roommates met in a similar fashion. My parents were set up on a blind date by my uncle. I understand the concept. I just kind of have a hard time with this "hunter" mentality. Maybe it has something to do with not being able to bring home "dinner" over the years.

Oh and by the way, the girl you think you want, out of a group of women, isn't your only target. Huggy's advice still applies. Approach her first; if she responds dance with her, buy them all a round, then dance with one of her friends. Don't obviously zero in on one right away; instead, spread some attention and conversation around the group, and watch her reaction. The key to the door to a woman's heart is often the comments of her friends Make them all feel special, and the focus of your attention, one at a time, while observing your primary target's body language. Look for things like leaning toward you when you speak, "preening gestures" like playing with her hair, and so on. Watch the others too; there's always the possibility the one you really want, is not the first one you picked out.

Ok. I'll keep that in mind.

Think Gorbachev. That guy looked like he had the map of China tattooed on his head in red. Still women found him attractive.

Gorby's tattoo is a backyard pond compared to my Atlantic Ocean.

Ya the young ones are still looking for the guy that will spawn good looking children and provide for them to some extent. If you are past the prime breeding years you don't have to look perfect. Women still have dreams as they age into the mid 30's-40's plus..they are just different and more realistic than the baby makers.

I'm past the prime breeding years. I'll be 37 in mid-July. They may be more realistic, but they're still looking for someone who holds the same ideals and isn't going to embarass them by being seen with them.

The women you might find most fun can be pretty...they have received the most attention so they have seen all the games.

They want to wake up with someone they can feel comfortable with.

True. The problem is that they're also likely the ones who have used their appearance to get ahead in business and other places. They're not generally the type who enjoy playing second fiddle to the guy in their life.

They don't care about your balding head or blemishes as long as they are not directly attributable to bad hi-gene.

Hygeine isn't an issue for me, thankfully.

Accentuate your best features. A sincere smile...an infectious laugh... sensitive eyes.

Once I find a couple of decent features I'll keep that in mind.

Shave close and for gods sakes trim those eyebrows down a bit. Don't forget nose and ear hair! Pluck if necessary..but do it early on enough that you don't have red marks showing the damage from your maintenance.

Keep those nails clean and trimmed..a professional manicure is not a bad idea.

I should shave a bit more often than I do, though "close" is a relative term since I have to use an electric razor. The eyebrows are a little better now than in the photo I posted a while back. Ear hair is something I have to deal with from time to time. With a face like mind I've just never really seen the point. I pay more attention to it when I'm going out, or if I have a woman in my life, but for the most part it's a waste of time for me.

A three piece suit is out of place in most sports bars...unless it is late and you could be coming from a place where it is more appropriate. In which case it does make you stand out from the crowd in a good way. The important part is that your clothes fit you well and that they are clean and don't look like you have been wearing them for a week straight. Always check your clothing for B O BEFORE you put them on. That's a deal killer and one that can ruin your chances in an establishment. You might be surprised to discover a "scent" you have grown accustomed to is offensive to a stranger.

I do need to go out and get some new clothes. I've lost over 50 lbs in the last 18 months, so there is a bit of wardrobe shopping that needs to be done. The problem being that I have absolutely ZERO style/fashion sense. I could be on one of those TV makeover shows when it comes to my everyday wear. It's generally slacks and either button-down flannel shirts, pull-over/sweatshirt type stuff, or polo shirts come the warmer weather with my hiking boots.

 

[Anachronism]

The thing about Gorbachev is he was a man of power and had money so of course he will have women, women are attracted to power and success. Rapper Notorious B.I.G is another example, Gorbachev and Biggie broke with no money would have a hard time getting the women they did with their success and riches.

Success, Riches, and Power are three things that are not really part of my life. I make a decent living, but I'm never going to be a 6-figure earner or some high profile celebrity type. That's just not my personality, nevermind my luck.

Well, it is a fact that men are biologically programmed to like qualities in a woman that translate to "can bear me healthy children". Women are biologically programmed to like qualities in a man that translate to "can support and protect me and my offspring". It's not a bad thing, so long as your intellect is capable of overriding your instinct when necessary.

For me the "healthy children" thing isn't a big deal. I don't want kids. I'm too old to become a first-time parent and I would make a totally wretched father in this day and age. I'm really more interested in someone who takes care of themselves physically and who has a very similar mental viewpoint to my own. That's what's "sexy" to me.

Knowledge and moxie are also wealth and power.

That really depends on the woman, Huggy. At least in my experience.

 

[Anachronism]

I am not saying it is not possible but a broke man has to put in more work than a guy who has his pockets right, I have seen guys living on friends coaches who pulled in women and had them paying for everything, it all depends how tight your game is.

That's the thing.... I'm not interested in "Game". I'm out there trying to get this thing done with Honesty, and Decency. Obviously that isn't working, but I really don't want to go down the "Game" road. In my experience "Game" tends to lead to people thinking you're somebody that you're not. I make a decent living. I'm not the type who saves every penny though. I don't mind spending money, but there has to be some sort of return on the investment.

Women are expensive. Entertaining is expensive. I never advocate for "scamming" a meal ticket by playing women for money.

I know times are tough ..but in these times one of the most attractive things one can do for themselves and for the perception they display is do whatever it takes to get a decent job before worrying about getting laid.

If you are truly desperate to have party money...grow some balls and rob a bank.

No...seriously.

I've got a decent job. I make a little over $30 an hour on a straight 40 hour workweek. I do tend to spend more than I save. I'm a believer that "you can't take it with you". I've got no problem spending money on things, so long as there's a return on the investment. I'm not into throwing money around/away without getting something back in return.

 

[Grace]

The only advice I can give is for Anachronism to:

throw away his "what Im looking for" list and burn any backup copies he may have.

Be himself. When he sees a woman he want to talk to, talk to her like shes someone he already knows. In short..be at ease.

Dont keep ragging on himself. He seems insecure on his looks. Women are like wolves. They can smell that insecurity and dont find it attractive.

You look the way you were intended to look from the genes of your parents, and their parents parents on down the line. Being eye candy is a plus, but it isnt the most important thing.

Hygene is important. So is clean teeth even if they are crooked. CLEAN is the key word.

Not seeing a pic of you, I cant give you tips, nor would even if you did post one. Dorky as it sounds, INSIDE far outweighs the OUTSIDE....except in certain scenarios ie morbidly obese where he cant even walk....or has rotten teeth...or extreme lack of hygene, etc.

 

[Grace]

And not all women are expensive. Ex tried very hard to get me to go with him to get a brand new pc for me. I declined. I dont want one. He tries to get me to go shopping with me to try to get me out of hermit mode. I refuse. I like being here at home. I like being who I am. I earned it.
Jetsetters and active women CAN be expensive. But not all are.

 

[FuelRod]

Who knows? They're deranged.

 

[HUGGY]

OK, Anachronism, we've actually got a pretty good foundation here, You're in shape, you know how to dress; doesn't look like you're terribly shy; so actually we have a lot of positives to work from; so most of this is going to be fine-tuning some things.

All true, except possibly the last. Never been terribly good at approaching women. Probably has a lot to do with getting shot down so many times early in life.

Some little things: If the gun is a professional requirement you may not have much choice in what you carry; if you do, one of the smaller Glocks, or even a Walther PPK works in a shoulder holster, or perhaps even an ankle holster.

The gun is a lifestyle necessity. I don't go many place without it. Generally a compact semi-auto or small frame revolver. They all tuck in nicely to the hip, but it does limit clothing options to a certain degree. I'm not "deep" enough for a shoulder rig, and ankle holsters are a lot better in movies than in reality. I have started moving towards IWB (inside the waistband) holsters for at least one of the guns.



My mobility is fine. As I said, I've got a minor case of it, thankfully. I can slow dance decently, but any sort of modern dancing, I'm so far out of my element it isn't even funny.



I've got something around here somewhere (I have to find it again), but once that runs out I'll be back to square one, since I don't think it's made anymore. The hair is gonna be what it's gonna be. I don't have the time, energy, or money to fool around with that stuff.



The positive feedback generally comes on my dress, my attention to details, politeness, ability to carry on a conversation, and the attention that I pay to whomever I'm out with. The "friendship" qualities, if you will.

What tends to kill me is the fact that I am upfront and honest about the fact that I'm looking for a long-term relationship, not some sort of casual dating thing, and that I'm something of a traditionalist/misogynist. I don't go out of my way to bring these things up, but when the topics do come up, I don't lie or tell half-truths about them either.



My roommates met in a similar fashion. My parents were set up on a blind date by my uncle. I understand the concept. I just kind of have a hard time with this "hunter" mentality. Maybe it has something to do with not being able to bring home "dinner" over the years.



Ok. I'll keep that in mind.



Gorby's tattoo is a backyard pond compared to my Atlantic Ocean.



I'm past the prime breeding years. I'll be 37 in mid-July. They may be more realistic, but they're still looking for someone who holds the same ideals and isn't going to embarass them by being seen with them.



True. The problem is that they're also likely the ones who have used their appearance to get ahead in business and other places. They're not generally the type who enjoy playing second fiddle to the guy in their life.



Hygeine isn't an issue for me, thankfully.



Once I find a couple of decent features I'll keep that in mind.

Shave close and for gods sakes trim those eyebrows down a bit. Don't forget nose and ear hair! Pluck if necessary..but do it early on enough that you don't have red marks showing the damage from your maintenance.

Keep those nails clean and trimmed..a professional manicure is not a bad idea.

I should shave a bit more often than I do, though "close" is a relative term since I have to use an electric razor. The eyebrows are a little better now than in the photo I posted a while back. Ear hair is something I have to deal with from time to time. With a face like mind I've just never really seen the point. I pay more attention to it when I'm going out, or if I have a woman in my life, but for the most part it's a waste of time for me.

A three piece suit is out of place in most sports bars...unless it is late and you could be coming from a place where it is more appropriate. In which case it does make you stand out from the crowd in a good way. The important part is that your clothes fit you well and that they are clean and don't look like you have been wearing them for a week straight. Always check your clothing for B O BEFORE you put them on. That's a deal killer and one that can ruin your chances in an establishment. You might be surprised to discover a "scent" you have grown accustomed to is offensive to a stranger.

I do need to go out and get some new clothes. I've lost over 50 lbs in the last 18 months, so there is a bit of wardrobe shopping that needs to be done. The problem being that I have absolutely ZERO style/fashion sense. I could be on one of those TV makeover shows when it comes to my everyday wear. It's generally slacks and either button-down flannel shirts, pull-over/sweatshirt type stuff, or polo shirts come the warmer weather with my hiking boots.

I hope you don't think I am trying to be glib. As far as the face thing...have you explored laser or other techniques to mitigate the color mismatch? Hair can be "installed" quite successfully. It is expensive but these issues seem serious to you and there are ways to correct much of it. Your confidence IS at issue. Seeing as how genealogy is not..as far as passing your dna on to an unsuspecting child.. I have to admit you have quite a mountain placed in your path. It also appears you are level headed about the realities and make enough to invest in yourself to make the playing field more level.

 

[Anachronism]

Women are attracted to power, and money and power are never too far apart; and you're right Huggy, women ARE expensive, but what that's really fine in life isn't? It just costs more to keep up a thoroughbred than a mule, but the thoroughbred is faster, and a hell of a lot more attractive to look at!

Very true. However, the farmer has no use for a fast, pretty horse. He needs one that he can plow the field with, can take the kids for rides, and can pull the wagon to town. He doesn't want the thoroughbred or the mule. He wants the Norwegian Fjord... workmanlike, attractive, fun, and sensible all rolled into one.

(1) NEVER use booze or drugs to get a woman into bed! Aside from legal ramifications, this is distinctly bad form, and besides, a drunk woman is a lousy lay.

I don't drink much myself, so that one's not a big deal for me.

(2) NEVER, EVER, use the THREE MAGIC WORDS to get a woman into bed. The THREE MAGIC WORDS are "I love you". Women take them far more seriously than we do, so NEVER, and I do mean NEVER, use them unless you are completely sober, have thought about it, and are absolutely sure you mean it! This is the ultimate hook into female emotions, and women get extremely hurt, angry, and irrational, if they discover you didn't mean it. "Hell hath no fury....." BELIEVE IT!

I don't really believe in romantic Love, so that's even less of an issue than #1.

(3) NEVER leech off a woman...EVER. That's disgraceful! You deserve to lose your "Man Card" for this one!

True. Very true. Though I will suggest that there are certain times and places where it is more than acceptable, and occasionally only right that she foots the bill for certain things.

(4) NEVER kiss(or screw) and tell! That's adolescent! Real men do not do this under any circumstances! I don't care if everyone around both of you "knows" you're sleeping together. Officially, you know nothing, you did nothing, and you say nothing! (If SHE wants to advertise it, fine, but YOU better not!)

REALLY not my style. I'm not even a huge proponent of public displays of affection, so that's not something I have to worry much about.

(5) NEVER treat a lady as anything but a lady in public. Whatever you do in the bedroom, no matter how much of a freak or a whore she is there, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, she's a LADY!

True, so long as she acts like a Lady. If she's going to act like something other than a Lady in public, then all bets are off.

(6) NEVER use a woman! They hate that! Get a reputation for it, and your romantic life is dead, anywhere in the immediate vicinity and possibly beyond; they do share information! Take good care of her needs, and you shall be rewarded; a thoroughly satisfied woman is the most giving creature known to man, and will do virtually ANYTHING to please you! Trust me on this one!

Thankfully I've never been down that road. I've been used, but not the user. I do my best to meet the needs and desires of the Lady in my life (when there is one).

(7) NEVER put your hands on your woman except to love her, comfort her, or carry her to bed. No matter how angry you are, real men don't abuse a woman under any circumstances, EVER! Your Man Card will be permanently revoked for violating this one!

This one we will have to disagree on to a certain degree. I agree that abuse is beyond the limits of acceptability, but I come from a slightly older mentality where appropriate level of discipline need to be maintained throughout the home. Sometimes that means a certain level of physical discipline is necessary. Not abuse, but discipline. It's also something that as a relationship goes on, I try to explain and make clear to potential long-term partners.

I know some exceptions to this rule, but even with them, the key is to ALWAYS treat a woman like she's important. It's amazing how fast a woman who gets a thrill from being a slave can turn on a man when she's not treated like a VALUED slave.

Very true, Cecilie. It has to always be a partnership. Maybe not a 50/50 partnership, but both sides always have a value. When one stops seeing that in another it's time to part company. That's a large part of why my living arrangement will be changing soon.

And never, ever forget that WOMEN TALK TO EACH OTHER! Mistreat one, and the rest of us will know about it in short order.

True. Though all too often you ladies seem to focus solely on the negatives in the men in your lives and very rarely let your girlfriends know about their good points. Especially at the end of a relationship. If he screwed up one thing out of fifteen items in the relationship, that seems to be all you Ladies focus on when talking to each other.

And do not tolerate a woman who thinks it's okay to abuse YOU, especially if she believes she should be able to do it and then hide behind the "men shouldn't hit women" thing. It may look good in the movies for a woman to slap a man for insulting her, but in real ife, that shit don't fly.

My father taught me a simple lesson.... "You never strike the first blow to a woman in anger. However, if she chooses to throw the first blow, ALL BETS ARE OFF."

 

[Anachronism]

throw away his "what Im looking for" list and burn any backup copies he may have.

Be himself. When he sees a woman he want to talk to, talk to her like shes someone he already knows. In short..be at ease.

Believe it or not, this is the shortened, more open-minded version of the list. It used to be a lot longer and much more stringent than it is these days. Besides, most of what I'm looking for has more to do with finding the sort of woman who is going to be able to put up with me than anything else. I'm not a big believer in Romantic Love, if that explains it a little better.

Being at ease around people is NOT easy for me. I live my life constantly expecting the worst. I'm a die hard pesimist and have been for three decades now. Especially when it comes to women.

Dont keep ragging on himself. He seems insecure on his looks. Women are like wolves. They can smell that insecurity and dont find it attractive.

You look the way you were intended to look from the genes of your parents, and their parents parents on down the line. Being eye candy is a plus, but it isnt the most important thing.

There's being average, and then there's being unique, IREURU. I fall into the latter category, and not necessarily in a good way. People don't ever forget having seen me. Then again, considering there are probably less than 1,000 men in the United States who have a face like mine, that shouldn't be a surprise. I could spend an hour just sitting here typing the derogatory names/labels/comments that have been made about my face over the years. I'll simply go straight to the top of the list and leave you with one... "I'd rather date and mate with MY DOG, than with someone who looks like you." (she then slammed the door in my face, thus ending our blind date before it even started).

Hygene is important. So is clean teeth even if they are crooked. CLEAN is the key word.

Not seeing a pic of you, I cant give you tips, nor would even if you did post one. Dorky as it sounds, INSIDE far outweighs the OUTSIDE....except in certain scenarios ie morbidly obese where he cant even walk....or has rotten teeth...or extreme lack of hygene, etc.

My teeth all come out at night. Full upper and lower plate dentures. Another wonderful present from the birthmark.

I really wish that I could believe the "Inside outweight Outside" line, IMEURU. I really wish I could. It's just that my experience over the years tells me differently.

And not all women are expensive. Ex tried very hard to get me to go with him to get a brand new pc for me. I declined. I dont want one. He tries to get me to go shopping with me to try to get me out of hermit mode. I refuse. I like being here at home. I like being who I am. I earned it. Jetsetters and active women CAN be expensive. But not all are.

True. Not all women are expensive. At least not in the way you're talking about. However, courting and romancing a woman is not a cheap experience. Not if you want to do it right. Just as most guys will never understand how much the ladies shell out for Prom Night, there are a lot of ladies who I don't think quite realize how expensive 2-3 nights out a week can be. Not even always in terms of strictly money, either. Rearranging schedules, missing out on other things, etc... also come into play. Now obviously he has to make a decision on what is more important to him, but when her only free time on the weekend is Saturday afternoons and he's a huge college football fan, fall weekends can be tough.

I hope you don't think I am trying to be glib. As far as the face thing...have you explored laser or other techniques to mitigate the color mismatch? Hair can be "installed" quite successfully. It is expensive but these issues seem serious to you and there are ways to correct much of it. Your confidence IS at issue. Seeing as how genealogy is not..as far as passing your dna on to an unsuspecting child.. I have to admit you have quite a mountain placed in your path. It also appears you are level headed about the realities and make enough to invest in yourself to make the playing field more level.

Not glib at all, HUGGY.

The type of birthmark and the deepness of the color do not lend itself to the current array of laser techniques. Especially since the chance of scarring and the amount of time it would take to get anything done (probably 3-4 years worth of treatments on a birthmark my size) would make it unrealistic. Besides, even if I could wake up tomorrow and have it gone permanently, I'd look in the mirror and not know who that person was. I HAVE had two surgeries to reduce some of the enlargement of the nose. In fact the second one was just two weeks ago. That has worked nicely, thankfully.

The hair thing is mostly a matter of expense. I just can't see the sense in spending thousands of dollars to have something like that done.

My confidence will probably always be an issue. After almost 37 years of being the odd person, the one who all the girls like as a friend, but who is never good enough to be the boyfriend, I'm not really sure the issue will ever fully go away. It is going to take a very special and saintly woman to be willing to spend her life with me. I've known that for a very long time.

 

[HUGGY]

OK...now on to some housekeeping. I thought I was supposed to be on your ignore list!!! WTF???

Good luck finding that saint... Try Church based on line dating. You can get a chance to display your personality and prepare the gal for your face. If she likes you and then see's a pic and is still interested you are well ahead.

 

[Grace]

Well, the more I read, the more I dont think you are looking for a mate at all. You want a Little house On The Prairie woman what will pull the plow, feed the chickens, wash the clothes in the water trough outside, stable the horses, clean the stalls then run in at dinner time to make sure you have a nice hot meal she just made from scratch that she grew herself in your garden (I say you, because it sure wouldnt be hers from what Ive gathered so far), have a nice hot drawn bath she heated the water from the fireplace she stoked and make sure your pipe is stuffed with tobaccy and your slippers on your feet after giving them a good massage with Bagbalm that was used on the cows in the barn. And for those efforts, she doesnt get a kiss, a hug, told she is loved and appreciated. Its her job as your mate. And shes nothing more.

Good luck in your hunt, dude.

 

[The Gadfly]

Ok, then from the top
"Never been good at approaching women"
In that case, we need to get you doing it until you get some more confidence in doing so. A little success will do wonders for that.

The gun-IWB it is, with whatever fits you most comfortably.

"I can slow dance decently, but..." Two words-dance lessons. Invest in yourself.

"I've got something(cologne) around here somewhere" Find it, see if you still like it; maybe I can suggest something similar to try.

"...I'm upfront and honest about looking for a long term relationship...and that I'm something of a misogynist/ traditionalist" That, we might have to temporarily modify; could just be, you're spooking some potential candidates for that by going straight for it from the beginning. Most of these women are used to guys not wanting to commit, so when they get the opposite, that might be making them uncomfortable. BTW, what age women we talking about? Early to mid thirties, maybe? You might have to get to your goal by degrees, rather than in one fell swoop. You sure you want the June Cleaver type? Could you deal with more of an equal, rather than a subordinate?

"I have a problem with this hunter mentality concept...." Because so far, it hasn't worked? . Never mind that; remember, you only have to get lucky ONCE....

The clothes I can help you with warmer season-Chinos (khakis), polo shirt (several colors), button-down, long-sleeve cotton oxford cloth shirts (I suggest the traditional light blue), sleeves rolled up to the elbow for a more casual look, topped with a sportcoat on cooler evenings. Three piece suit for dressier surroundings, . Shoes, 1 pair dress loafers-brown or cordovan, 1 or 2 pair penny loafers or similar casual shoes-rotate these daily. Socks, khaki or black crew type, black or dark brown dress socks for dress shoes (with suit).. Cooler months-replace khakis with british tan cavlry twill trousers, or grey wool flannel trousersLong-sleeve cotton oxford shirts (flannels get to looking sloppy) topped with sweater, and outer jacket (Filson or Barber wax cotton jacket would be good in all weather, and will last a lifetime.) You're slim, so your trousers should be flat--front (no pleats) enough socks and underwear for at least a daily change, plus a change for the evening.Kepp the trousers and shirts neatly pressed. This look id basic classic, and should suit youI think I'd suggest a mid gray or navy suit, possibly with a vertical pinstripe (makes you look taller. No horizontal patternsDress shirts for suit-plain collar, light or French blue, French cuffs. Again basic classic, never out of style. Ties-relatively narrow (current style, several colors, simple club pattern or solid (No stripes with pinstripe suit!) That should work.

How's that, for a beginning?

 

[The Gadfly]

Well, the more I read, the more I dont think you are looking for a mate at all. You want a Little house On The Prairie woman what will pull the plow, feed the chickens, wash the clothes in the water trough outside, stable the horses, clean the stalls then run in at dinner time to make sure you have a nice hot meal she just made from scratch that she grew herself in your garden (I say you, because it sure wouldnt be hers from what Ive gathered so far), have a nice hot drawn bath she heated the water from the fireplace she stoked and make sure your pipe is stuffed with tobaccy and your slippers on your feet after giving them a good massage with Bagbalm that was used on the cows in the barn. And for those efforts, she doesnt get a kiss, a hug, told she is loved and appreciated. Its her job as your mate. And shes nothing more.

Good luck in your hunt, dude.

Easy, Grace,
He's had a rough hill to climb. Let's see if we can square him away a little, and see if any of his wants are amenable to change.

BTW, sending you a PM

 

[HUGGY]

OK...this may sound out of place but????.......

Get all dressed up to the nines and paint black squares on all the red in diagonals. You walk up to the gal in a bar and with a straight face ..a poker face...with a calm demeanor ask her deadpan......"do ya want to play checkers?". OK..OK..It's a long shot! But Hey! If it works you've found your gal! This may take more than one try....

 

[Anachronism]

Well, the more I read, the more I dont think you are looking for a mate at all. You want a Little house On The Prairie woman what will pull the plow, feed the chickens, wash the clothes in the water trough outside, stable the horses, clean the stalls then run in at dinner time to make sure you have a nice hot meal she just made from scratch that she grew herself in your garden (I say you, because it sure wouldnt be hers from what Ive gathered so far), have a nice hot drawn bath she heated the water from the fireplace she stoked and make sure your pipe is stuffed with tobaccy and your slippers on your feet after giving them a good massage with Bagbalm that was used on the cows in the barn. And for those efforts, she doesnt get a kiss, a hug, told she is loved and appreciated. Its her job as your mate. And shes nothing more.

I can definitely see how you would come to that conclusion. I'm not even going to deny that there are some parts of it that are correct. I am definitely looking for a much more Traditional woman than most women today tend to be. You've gone more than a little over the top with your description, though.

Yes, the domestic chores are more a part of the female role so far as I'm concerned, but I have no interest in living on a farm, the garden would most definitely be hers (I have a black thumb), and I'm more than capable of taking a shower by myself with the hot and cold running water in the bathroom. In return she gets financially and emotionally supported, and does not have to deal with the unpleasantness of the outside world if she doesn't want to.

I really don't believe in romantic love because I can honestly say that at almost 37 years old, I've never experienced it. Not from my end or towards me by someone else. I would love to be proven wrong, but until I actually experience the sensation, I have a hard time believing it actually exists. That does not mean that there shouldn't be an emotional and physical bond between two people in a relationship.