The REAL American Christmas
Tāwas the weekend before Christmas
All the people standing in line
For crap on sale that was marked up 300%
To give the impression you're saving a few cents
The employee with the keys came to the door
Turned the lock and dove to the floor
People shoving and pushing, what holiday whores
Three people pushed through the glass
Oh not again, what a pain in the ass
The mall was abuzz
Your own voice could not be heard
Not over others, not one little word
Except for two women fighting over a doll
āITāS THE LAST ONE, GIVE IT TO ME YOU TURDā
Vicious women shopping
Violent, hateful men too
Dragging screaming little monsters
Donāt you wish you could sue
Grabbing and punching
Pulling and gashing
Old ladies trampled onto the floor
Good grief, what a freeking bore
Cussing and slapping
Nasty looks for all
Oh what a holiday of hate
Oh look, another fall
Psychoās driving like demons on wheels
Cutting off everyone around
While slamming on their brakes
Flipping you off and doing what it takes
To get home to families
Who couldnāt care less
About the thousands of dollars in gifts
Oh what a hot dramatic mess
Passed a starving man on the street
Speeding home from the mall
Almost hit and killed him
Oh well, better for us all
Forgetting about granny
Who gave everyone love
Couldnāt care less she broke her hip when alone
They exclaimed āDonāt have time, weāll put her in a homeā
Exiling her to the living morgue
The one they call a āhomeā
Where they use and abuse
With no fight from anyone, anyone at all
Fuck you brother
To hell with you sister
Burn you lousy bastard
Iāll kill you mister
Tis the night before Christmas
All the evil in the universe
Will never ever surpass
The hate and loathing from humans
en-mass
Holidays that have become
Worse than the Crusades
More violent than war
Humans and holidays
Make Hitler look like a bore
So Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night
Because the iPhone you forgot to get
Will get you death threats I bet
If hate and loathing
Are the āholiday cheerā
I welcome doomsday
It would be better than here