USMB Coffee Shop IV

[beautress]

Just wanted to say "hi" but I have to take a prescription for my swollen feet. I forgot to take it this morning. And it's been a long day. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I'm so tired I could oversleep and miss morning services. Hugs to all who are getting well or need a pat on the back. Thanks for all the good times we've had here
And sleep well, all who are tired. Good night, happy weekend, good health and best wishes for a great next week! I'm headed upstairs..

 

[beautress]

That bird would make a fine policeman!

 

[Dragonlady]

We didn't get to the race track this month due to bad weather, but we have definite plans to go on September 13th, regardless of the weather. Canada has it's own Triple Crown, and September 13th is the Prince of Wales Stake, the 2nd Jewel in the Canadian Triple Crown.

The Queens Plate (1st race) was run in Toronto last weekend. It was won by a superfilly named Moira, who won the Woodbine Oaks by 10 lengths. She was the only filly in the Plate, and she beat the boys by 12 lengths going away. The Prince of Wales is 13/16 of a mile.

Aside from the fact that this big race is being held on a Tuesday Afternoon which is odd, I've been trying to talk my friend into getting all dressed up with fancy hats for the race. I've always wanted to do this. It's one of the few bucket list things I've wanted to do all my life that I'm still physically capable of doing. Kathy's not keen.

 

[Hossfly]

 

[Oddball]

Saturday morning!

A great day fro music lovers.

Let the cartoon begin!

 

[Foxfyre]

We didn't get to the race track this month due to bad weather, but we have definite plans to go on September 13th, regardless of the weather. Canada has it's own Triple Crown, and September 13th is the Prince of Wales Stake, the 2nd Jewel in the Canadian Triple Crown.

The Queens Plate (1st race) was run in Toronto last weekend. It was won by a superfilly named Moira, who won the Woodbine Oaks by 10 lengths. She was the only filly in the Plate, and she beat the boys by 12 lengths going away. The Prince of Wales is 13/16 of a mile.

Aside from the fact that this big race is being held on a Tuesday Afternoon which is odd, I've been trying to talk my friend into getting all dressed up with fancy hats for the race. I've always wanted to do this. It's one of the few bucket list things I've wanted to do all my life that I'm still physically capable of doing. Kathy's not keen.

We have had horse racing here in Albuquerque and Santa Fe Downs is just 50 miles away. And Ruidoso Downs, about 3 hours away was a favorite destination to get away from summer heat years ago. But we always went with my mom--she loved the horse races--and my sister and brother-in-law who also went often. (We all were miminum betters so even if our horses came in last, it was an inexpensive afternoon)

My sister even sometimes played piano for tips at the Jockey Club in Santa Fe and would make several hundred dollars--slightly tipsy race aficionados apparently tip really good . After mom died though it just wasn't as much fun and after my brother-in-law passed we stopped going altogether. But I hope you get to cross that special event off your bucket list.

 

[Dajjal]

Hmm ! I see a couple of my tweets are unavailable Oh well, at least they got seen before they disappeared..

 

[MarathonMike]

I had dinner last night with two good female friends one retired, one still working. They are both great people and wonderful Moms but I was struck by how much their lives revolve around their daughters. The one that's still working just entered her daughter at Michigan. I asked if she is getting any sort of scholarship money and she said Yes 10 thousand a year. I said oh great! She said not so great, annual costs for her daughter attending will be 60 thousand per year AFTER the scholarship deduction!! And she is getting a music degree. This woman is an incredibly bright engineer but she will be working for at least 10 more years to pay this off.

My other friend has a daughter and grand daughter and she spends a good part of her week picking up and dropping off or watching the grand daughter. She also gives her money for rent and incidentals. I said that seems like a lot to put on you and she agreed but said "what am I going to do, she makes bad decisions I have to help her".

I really like and respect these women but in both cases I think they are enabling their daughters to take advantage of them. I also know that they are not unique, my wife has 4 sisters and each does way more than they should for their adult kids IMO.

 

[Foxfyre]

I had dinner last night with two good female friends one retired, one still working. They are both great people and wonderful Moms but I was struck by how much their lives revolve around their daughters. The one that's still working just entered her daughter at Michigan. I asked if she is getting any sort of scholarship money and she said Yes 10 thousand a year. I said oh great! She said not so great, annual costs for her daughter attending will be 60 thousand per year AFTER the scholarship deduction!! And she is getting a music degree. This woman is an incredibly bright engineer but she will be working for at least 10 more years to pay this off.

My other friend has a daughter and grand daughter and she spends a good part of her week picking up and dropping off or watching the grand daughter. She also gives her money for rent and incidentals. I said that seems like a lot to put on you and she agreed but said "what am I going to do, she makes bad decisions I have to help her".

I really like and respect these women but in both cases I think they are enabling their daughters to take advantage of them. I also know that they are not unique, my wife has 4 sisters and each does way more than they should for their adult kids IMO.

Until you've been a parent, it is difficult to understand why a responsible, intelligent mom or dad will enable irresponsibility on the part of their offspring, but sooner or later we all do it. We're torn between wanting them to love us to worrying about them or us being harmed by the consequences of those 'bad decisions' to knowing that as long as they don't suffer the consequences, they'll never learn. It becomes a real tightrope walking act at times.

And some really do receive personal gratification in being part of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. I suppose no two of us are alike. I was always proud that my children did become responsible adults. But in all honesty, it took awhile. And I recall those times my mom helped me when I was still pretty young and a bit 'needy' at times.

But somehow we all seem to survive all of it.

 

[MarathonMike]

Until you've been a parent, it is difficult to understand why a responsible, intelligent mom or dad will enable irresponsibility on the part of their offspring, but sooner or later we all do it. We're torn between wanting them to love us to worrying about being harmed by the consequences of those 'bad decisions' to knowing that as long as they don't suffer the consequences, they'll never learn. It becomes a real tightrope walking act at times.

And some really do receive personal gratification in being part of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. I suppose no two of us are alike. I was always proud that my children did become responsible adults. But in all honesty, it took awhile. And I recall those times my mom helped me when I was still pretty young and a bit 'needy' at times.

But somehow we all seem to survive all of it.

I agree and my wife and I raised two children. We certainly provided for all of their needs including college costs but we insisted they study hard, get scholarships and get degrees that would lead to good jobs. And they held up their end of the bargain well and they are both independent. That's the difference, my two friends are both frustrated because there doesn't appear to be an end to the dependency.

 

[Foxfyre]

I agree and my wife and I raised two children. We certainly provided for all of their needs including college costs but we insisted they study hard, get scholarships and get degrees that would lead to good jobs. And they held up their end of the bargain well and they are both independent. That's the difference, my two friends are both frustrated because there doesn't appear to be an end to the dependency.

I've seen that as well and it is unfortunate. Our kids weren't given a choice as to whether they would go to college. They just knew it was expected of them and didn't question it. Both are now high earning professionals. But they also were required to pay their way as much as was reasonable and were expected to do their part in their success. But if your kids never did a dumb thing and you decided not to make them suffer the consequences, I think they and you are probably the exception more than the rule.

 

[MarathonMike]

I've seen that as well and it is unfortunate. Our kids weren't given a choice as to whether they would go to college. They just knew it was expected of them and didn't question it. Both are now high earning professionals. But they also were required to pay their way as much as was reasonable and were expected to do their part in their success. But if your kids never did a dumb thing and you decided not to make them suffer the consequences, I think they and you are probably the exception more than the rule.

It sounds like we had similar expectations and outcomes with our kids. I wasn't trying to say I'm better than them or my kids are great and theirs are bad. I'm saying I wish my friends were not so willing to continue to support their daughters to the degree that they do. It is clearly a hardship and stressful on both of them and they were not shy about saying so.

 

[Foxfyre]

It sounds like we had similar expectations and outcomes with our kids. I wasn't trying to say I'm better than them or my kids are great and theirs are bad. I'm saying I wish my friends were not so willing to continue to support their daughters to the degree that they do. It is clearly a hardship and stressful on both of them and they were not shy about saying so.

Oh, I know. I didn't mean to sound critical or defensive. I feel the same way about others when I see their kids taking advantage of them to everybody's detriment.

 

[Foxfyre]

 

[Hossfly]

 

[Hossfly]

 

[Foxfyre]

Good night, afternoon, morning wherever you are darlinks. I really do love you guys. May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here.

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Kat for wellness
Nosmo King for healing and health & wholeness.
Big Black Dog for the very best treatment and outcome for the rest of his days.
Dragonlady almost done with recovery from knee surgery.
Gracie for solutions and peace.
Mindful's daughter fighting COVID.
Hombre & Foxfyre's son for continued wellness.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they will.

And for all of us who need this advice, and that would include me:

 

[Mortimer]

Good morning... In Austria it is 8 am

 

[Aaliyah]

Good Morning (just morning) 11.43 am i hope you are all well

 

[Foxfyre]

Well I didn't get here for the good morning crew. It is now 6:30 p.m. in the Mountain Daylight Zone and I'm trying to muster up the will to get the trash out. Nothing on TV tonight so will comb through our movie collection for something to watch later.

And so far the cooler September weather we were hoping for isn't materializing. High 80s and low 90s lately and in the near future. 91 degrees f at our house right now.

And, for what it's worth: