Is it normal to be up, down, up, down, all over the place? I am excited, then scared, then sad, then excited again, then feeling dread, back to sad, back to semi exited, numb, down again...etc etc etc. Blood pressure has been a stead 211/80, I'm always flushed and hot, then get cold. MrG is afraid I'm gonna keel over from a heart attack. To be honest...I sorta wish I would so I don't have to deal with this any more. But then...he would be alone. And have two old dogs to deal with. And have to start this new "adventure" on his own. I'd feel guilty. Mostly, I keep kicking myself because we have been such idiots to not plan for this. We were supposed to be sitting in rocking chairs on the porch...not starting all over again at the mercy of friends like two beggars holding out a bowl murmuring "alms for the poor?"
****. Fuckity **** **** ****.
Sorry. Needed to get that out. Maybe my BP will go down now.