A couple of years ago, me and a couple of friends were walking around the Illinois State Fair, which by the way, has to be one of the best State Fairs in the nation. There are all these contests going around. One with kids and their pet pig dressed like famous duo's, Batman and Robin, Sherlock and Watson, etc.
Banjo competition.
Prettiest goat.
Tap dancing.
Shetland ponies racing miniatures carriages (there was a pile up that freaked everyone out).
Not to mention all the pavilions. Butter sculptures, quilts, whittling (from wood), etc.
Hundreds of bands and food stalls (steak, country corn, everything country).
So we pass by this one competition and it's "cheerleaders". So were having a cool beer, watching the competition, when these five girls come out. Now the other girls had the kind of "cheer-leading" outfits that you would expect. NOT these girls.
When they walked out, my friend goes, "Where's the pole?" I shhed him and told him these were someones kids so have a little respect". Now we are standing in a crowd.
He goes, "Oh no, these aren't any one's "kids", no, those girls are fully formed. These are cornfed country girls. And those are not cheer-leading outfits. No, we have a different name."
Then the music starts. It sounds like "stripper music". The suits looked very much like this:
These girls are bumping and grinding and the audience is soundless. Except where I'm standing. My friend is going on and on about these girls looking hootchie and everyone standing around us is laughing. That "shamefaced, uncomfortable laugh" that people do when looking at someone falling on their butt with their hand landing in, well, you know."
Anyway, we didn't know who won. We left because we are all family guys and it was very, very uncomfortable. The parents of those girls must have been in a rush to be grand parents. There couldn't be any other possible explanation. And I wonder what the "real" kids thought of those "girls"? Oh well, I guess the next generation of "Hooters" has to come from somewhere.
