If we don't re-elect Dear Leader, the darkie hordes will eat our babies (except anchor babies); there will be blood in your urine; the cost of bribing mistresses will skyrocket; you won't be able to buy red ballcaps anywhere; anyone caught with an American flag will be shot; illegal Mexicans will be allowed to vote twice; all guns will be confiscated, including airguns, rubber band guns, paint guns, nail guns and staple guns; Jesus will send eighty-four 7.0 or greater earthquakes to hit California and thirty-nine hurricanes to hit Jew York; the stock market will drop to zero, and everyone will be required to speak only Spanish.
"And now a message from a dietary fiber company..."