Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
The year was 2025. America had been plunged into violent civil war since just after the election of November 2024. It should not have happened. But the leftists went just a little too far this time, causing a large portion of the U.S. military forces to break rank and oppose the illegally “elected” Democrat government.
Leading up to the November 2024 presidential election, both Biden and Trump, the nominees for their respective parties, disappeared. In Joe Biden’s case, Joe wandered off in a hazy mindset, demented as hell. The Secret Service should have stopped him, but the agency had recently been made-over by its newly hired DEI chief, an overweight black post-op transsexual lesbian with ecosexual tendencies and with an adopted transsexual son they/them named Karlene Marx. As a result of the new policies implemented by this person, two things occurred. First, Secret Service agents became very, very confused. Second, the work product became complete shit due to agent demoralization. In just the first six months after the new chief took control of the agency, nearly half of the agents were lost to resignations and suicide.
Therefore, the Secret Service was just not up to the job of keeping an eye on Joe Biden. In fact, it is believed that when Joe wandered off, most of the agents assigned to White House detail were in a mandatory seminar called “How to Decolonize Your Vagina From White Imperialist Penises”. The poor Secret Service agents were not even allowed to go to the gun range for target practice anymore. Instead, they were all, man and woman, required to craft and distribute eco-friendly tampons for use in men’s prisons across the country.
Eventually it was determined that after Joe Biden wandered away from the White House in a fit of acute dementia, he was kidnapped by illegal aliens in D.C. and sold into slavery by a man called “El Guapo Muchacho Quesadilla” in order to generate a few bucks so he could pay his cell phone bill and get service reinstated. Unfortunately, Quesadilla was gunned down during a BLM protest before authorities could locate him. As a result, Joe Biden’s whereabouts were unknown, and he has never been recovered.
Donald Trump’s fate was quite different. In a motion filed by Merrick Garland, all of the cases against Trump, civil and criminal, state and federal, were consolidated into one case to be heard in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Further, before Joe Biden went missing, he appointed Barack Obama to be “Special Judicial …, uh, you know … the thing” in the cases against Trump. Essentially, that made him the judge in the case. Before the trial was to begin, Obama ruled that all of Trump’s defenses were disallowed because they threatened democracy, and that Trump’s attorneys were not allowed to cross-examine the government’s witnesses because Trump is a “bad man” who is an existential threat to what he calls democracy.
Trump saw the writing on the wall. He knew he was being railroaded, especially after states started banning him from their ballots after making the non-adjudicated and goofy conclusion that he waged a coup against the United States. So instead of allowing the Democrats to lynch him, he bolted. Trump wanted to resettle somewhere that respects individual civil rights and liberties more than a Democrat run government. He chose China, as ironic as that may be. But it was still a hell of a lot better than living under a Democrat regime.
Suddenly, America found itself facing a presidential election in 2024 with no candidates. As a result, Judge Obama, by the power conferred upon him by, well, nobody, declared himself to be the Ayatollah Obama of the “Empire of the Americas”, then promptly declared marshal law. Thereafter, Obama declared that Islam was the official state sanctioned religion and all non-Muslims would be slaves. Finally, Obama declared his pronouns to be she/her. Michelle Obama underwent a sex change procedure to become a woman. Barry and Michelle were then re-married under Sharia law as lesbians. After that they had themselves thrown off the top of the Empire State Building in order to conform to Sharia law.
Malia Obama was then installed as Queen of the Americas. The next day she died of alcohol poisoning. Sasha Obama was then anointed “Bitch N-Word of the Americas, Yo!” What followed was a complete train wreck. There was constant insurrection and power shifts. Finally, a big faction of our military, from every branch, declared their loyalty to the U.S. Constitution and broke from the current authoritarian Democrat government. They sought to restore the American republic. They were accused by the Dems of being Nazis and a danger to Duh-MocKrissEy.
Hostilities erupted shortly thereafter. When this occurred, the Land of the Americas was ruled over by a tribal warlord calling himself “King DJ Menthol”. He vowed a “cap in every white Insurrectionist ass”. Even though he had control over most of what remained of the US military, its ability had suffered greatly. Soldiers were equipped with Glawk Fotties (I.e., 9mm Hi-Points), and DEI mandates requiring all “phallus-like projectiles” (e.g., missiles, rockets, etc…) be made to look like penises (I.e., giant explosive dildos) degraded capabilities substantially.
Those favoring a return to our constitutional republic were looking for their General George Washington to get rid of all the disgusting garbage people who fucked up our country. They first appealed to Donald Trump overseas in China. But Trump responded, “Fuck you!! You had your chance! I am busy hosting a Chinese reality show and running a Chinese beauty pageant. I am getting tons of cash and tons of Asian pussy. Why would I leave all this?”
The republicans were sure to crush the degenerate Democrats. But they first needed an able leader to organize and lead them. But they had to act fast, as the Muslim scourge was pouring into the country to fight on the side of the Democrats. The stakes were unbelievably high, and the time was growing near for an epic fight.
Leading up to the November 2024 presidential election, both Biden and Trump, the nominees for their respective parties, disappeared. In Joe Biden’s case, Joe wandered off in a hazy mindset, demented as hell. The Secret Service should have stopped him, but the agency had recently been made-over by its newly hired DEI chief, an overweight black post-op transsexual lesbian with ecosexual tendencies and with an adopted transsexual son they/them named Karlene Marx. As a result of the new policies implemented by this person, two things occurred. First, Secret Service agents became very, very confused. Second, the work product became complete shit due to agent demoralization. In just the first six months after the new chief took control of the agency, nearly half of the agents were lost to resignations and suicide.
Therefore, the Secret Service was just not up to the job of keeping an eye on Joe Biden. In fact, it is believed that when Joe wandered off, most of the agents assigned to White House detail were in a mandatory seminar called “How to Decolonize Your Vagina From White Imperialist Penises”. The poor Secret Service agents were not even allowed to go to the gun range for target practice anymore. Instead, they were all, man and woman, required to craft and distribute eco-friendly tampons for use in men’s prisons across the country.
Eventually it was determined that after Joe Biden wandered away from the White House in a fit of acute dementia, he was kidnapped by illegal aliens in D.C. and sold into slavery by a man called “El Guapo Muchacho Quesadilla” in order to generate a few bucks so he could pay his cell phone bill and get service reinstated. Unfortunately, Quesadilla was gunned down during a BLM protest before authorities could locate him. As a result, Joe Biden’s whereabouts were unknown, and he has never been recovered.
Donald Trump’s fate was quite different. In a motion filed by Merrick Garland, all of the cases against Trump, civil and criminal, state and federal, were consolidated into one case to be heard in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Further, before Joe Biden went missing, he appointed Barack Obama to be “Special Judicial …, uh, you know … the thing” in the cases against Trump. Essentially, that made him the judge in the case. Before the trial was to begin, Obama ruled that all of Trump’s defenses were disallowed because they threatened democracy, and that Trump’s attorneys were not allowed to cross-examine the government’s witnesses because Trump is a “bad man” who is an existential threat to what he calls democracy.
Trump saw the writing on the wall. He knew he was being railroaded, especially after states started banning him from their ballots after making the non-adjudicated and goofy conclusion that he waged a coup against the United States. So instead of allowing the Democrats to lynch him, he bolted. Trump wanted to resettle somewhere that respects individual civil rights and liberties more than a Democrat run government. He chose China, as ironic as that may be. But it was still a hell of a lot better than living under a Democrat regime.
Suddenly, America found itself facing a presidential election in 2024 with no candidates. As a result, Judge Obama, by the power conferred upon him by, well, nobody, declared himself to be the Ayatollah Obama of the “Empire of the Americas”, then promptly declared marshal law. Thereafter, Obama declared that Islam was the official state sanctioned religion and all non-Muslims would be slaves. Finally, Obama declared his pronouns to be she/her. Michelle Obama underwent a sex change procedure to become a woman. Barry and Michelle were then re-married under Sharia law as lesbians. After that they had themselves thrown off the top of the Empire State Building in order to conform to Sharia law.
Malia Obama was then installed as Queen of the Americas. The next day she died of alcohol poisoning. Sasha Obama was then anointed “Bitch N-Word of the Americas, Yo!” What followed was a complete train wreck. There was constant insurrection and power shifts. Finally, a big faction of our military, from every branch, declared their loyalty to the U.S. Constitution and broke from the current authoritarian Democrat government. They sought to restore the American republic. They were accused by the Dems of being Nazis and a danger to Duh-MocKrissEy.
Hostilities erupted shortly thereafter. When this occurred, the Land of the Americas was ruled over by a tribal warlord calling himself “King DJ Menthol”. He vowed a “cap in every white Insurrectionist ass”. Even though he had control over most of what remained of the US military, its ability had suffered greatly. Soldiers were equipped with Glawk Fotties (I.e., 9mm Hi-Points), and DEI mandates requiring all “phallus-like projectiles” (e.g., missiles, rockets, etc…) be made to look like penises (I.e., giant explosive dildos) degraded capabilities substantially.
Those favoring a return to our constitutional republic were looking for their General George Washington to get rid of all the disgusting garbage people who fucked up our country. They first appealed to Donald Trump overseas in China. But Trump responded, “Fuck you!! You had your chance! I am busy hosting a Chinese reality show and running a Chinese beauty pageant. I am getting tons of cash and tons of Asian pussy. Why would I leave all this?”
The republicans were sure to crush the degenerate Democrats. But they first needed an able leader to organize and lead them. But they had to act fast, as the Muslim scourge was pouring into the country to fight on the side of the Democrats. The stakes were unbelievably high, and the time was growing near for an epic fight.
DerPiTy DerPY dErP!
