Our Never-Ending "Soccer" Embarrassment

[rightwinger]

Soccer is a great sport, but it's the fifth most popular team sport in the US as compared by professional revenues. It's growing but it's not surprising that America isn't a global power in the sport.

It's even further down the list if you count college and professional football and basketball separately.

It is even further down the list if you consider non-team sports like golf, tennis, NASCAR, MMA/Boxing

 

[Unkotare]

Soccer is a great sport, but it's the fifth most popular team sport in the US as compared by professional revenues. It's growing but it's not surprising that America isn't a global power in the sport.

It's even further down the list if you count college and professional football and basketball separately.

It is even further down the list if you consider non-team sports like golf, tennis, NASCAR, MMA/Boxing

It is even further down the list if you consider all sports that aren't boring as hell and just a way to keep young children busy until they're old enough to participate in real sports.

 

[L.K.Eder]

this is why americans are exceptional.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Soccer...popular in so many countries because all you need is a ball.

Much rather watch a bunch of huge dudes put on what amounts to armor,go out and knock the piss out of each other.

 

[rightwinger]

In every other sport, if the ball hits you in the head, people laugh at you

In Soccer....they cheer

 

[L.K.Eder]

In every other sport, if the ball hits you in the head, people laugh at you

In Soccer....they cheer

in football, they laugh at you as well, if the ball hits you in the head.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsU_0jCemsc]Piplica - YouTube[/ame]

 

[rightwinger]

This would count as a goal in soccer

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLs0pjWnzTY"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLs0pjWnzTY[/ame]

 

[L.K.Eder]

This would count as a goal in soccer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLs0pjWnzTY

as an own goal.

 

[High_Gravity]

Who did we lose to last week? Costa ******* Rica, for God's sake? You gotta be shittin' me.

With gazillions of American kids now playing football (the game we perversely call, "Soccer") and with even more promising to play "soccer" in the future - what with the concussion paranoia - when will we ever be able to field a competent "soccer" team internationally?

Unfortunately, never.

Our approach to this sport (and to all sports) puts us at an insurmountable disadvantage against international competition. The same is true in tennis, and would be true in basketball, but for our large population of genetically advantaged, so-called "African-Americans." The unfortunate fact is that a gifted European basketball player has a better chance of making it in the NBA than a gifted "white" kid from Boston.

The reason: Basically it is interscholastic sports. The prominence and dominance of interscholastic sports in this country, from K through Kollege, dictates that all meaningful competition in most sports is basically, BY AGE GROUP. This is a stupid way to educate children, and a disastrous way to develop top athletic talent.

In more "advanced" countries, they DO NOT HAVE INTERSCHOLASTIC SPORTS(!). There is no High School basketball team, football team, or any other team. Their schools are inexplicably focused on educating children and young adults, and do not provide the untold advantages of these athletic extracurricular activities.

In Europe and elsewhere, sports are organized at the "club" and community level, independent of the schools, and independent of the perverse paradigm that limits competition to kids of approximately the same age. If you are an outstanding player, in any sport, you are competing against other players AT THE SAME SKILL LEVEL, regardless of age. Dirk Nowitski was playing basketball against adults when he was a teenager, as Rafa Nadal was doing in tennis, and all the European football players were doing in football. Thus the most outstanding athletes are progressing as rapidly as possible, and are not constrained by forced competition with their mediocre contemporaries.

We have a hint of this in the U.S., with AAU basketball, club tennis, "traveling" "soccer," and Nick Bolletieri's tennis academy, but these are a mere shadow of the opportunities that exist for outstanding athletes outside the U.S. And they are generally only available to kids from families with significant resources, thus limiting the "pool."

To be clear, I am not a fan of "soccer." I think it is perverse and boring. But it is embarrassing to see our national football team exchanging High Fives when we happen to beat a national team from Pago Pago, or some other ******* outpost of a hell-hole. I also wouldn't mind having another World Number One in Men's tennis, the lack of which is another embarrassment. (Parenthetically, the reason why Serena Williams developed so significantly better than anyone else was that her father completely rejected the dictates of the American tennis community, and brought his daughters along ACCORDING TO their CAPABILITIES as they progressed, and not according to their age).

I have seen the enemy, and it is us.

So what? we beat the pants off of Mexico a few days ago and we are now ranked #13 in the FIFA rankings, there you can sleep well tonight.

 

[DGS49]

As Americans, we must acknowledge that Baseball is just as excruciatingly boring to foreigners who were not raised with it as is "soccer" to most of us. In addition, it seems apparent that if you have a sophisticated knowledge of "soccer" it becomes less insufferable and, like baseball, the 1-0 games are not "the worst and most boring ones to watch," but rather the most exciting and entertaining - for those who know WTF is going on.

So it won't do simply to say that soccer is boring and Americans will never embrace it. The rest of the ******* world - First world, second world, and third world - have indeed embraced it, and they can't all just be stupid.

My point is that with the millions of Americans who HAVE embraced it, we remain, in effect, a "Third World" competitor in soccer. But it's not because, "Americans just don't like it," but rather it is because our method of nurturing our most gifted players is not conducive to their optimum development.

I propose the following: Every American must contribute to a "Soccer Fund," as follows: If you love soccer, you must contribute a dollar - because you love soccer and it's the right thing to do. If you hate soccer, you must contribute two dollars, because you hate it and you want to be rid of it. The accumulated money will go into a fund to deport young, talented kids from the U.S. to soccer hotbeds around the world, where they can develop their skills at a more rapid pace. Then they can come back here and play for the Good Old U S of A, by golly.

Then maybe we won't suck.

 

[Immanuel]

Soccer is a great sport, but it's the fifth most popular team sport in the US as compared by professional revenues. It's growing but it's not surprising that America isn't a global power in the sport.

It's even further down the list if you count college and professional football and basketball separately.

And bowling, tennis, golf, women's beach volleyball, badminton, horse racing, auto racing, boxing, cricket, lacrosse. Okay, well maybe not cricket.

Soccer is a fun sport to play, but it is boring as hell to watch.

Immie

 

[rightwinger]

Soccer is a great sport, but it's the fifth most popular team sport in the US as compared by professional revenues. It's growing but it's not surprising that America isn't a global power in the sport.

It's even further down the list if you count college and professional football and basketball separately.

And bowling, tennis, golf, women's beach volleyball, badminton, horse racing, auto racing, boxing, cricket, lacrosse. Okay, well maybe not cricket.

Soccer is a fun sport to play, but it is boring as hell to watch.

Immie

Soccer would not be so boring if they did not try so hard to make it so

World class soccer is played with an objective of not losing rather than winning. Don't push the advantage, lay back, wait for your opponent to make a mistake

If all else fails......flop to the ground and writhe in agony

 

[Toro]

Given that baseball - America's national pastime - has roughly six minutes of action, criticism of other sports by Americans will be taken with a really, really big grain of salt.

 

[Toro]

This would count as a goal in soccer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLs0pjWnzTY

That's the funniest thing I've ever seen in sports.

 

[High_Gravity]

As Americans, we must acknowledge that Baseball is just as excruciatingly boring to foreigners who were not raised with it as is "soccer" to most of us. In addition, it seems apparent that if you have a sophisticated knowledge of "soccer" it becomes less insufferable and, like baseball, the 1-0 games are not "the worst and most boring ones to watch," but rather the most exciting and entertaining - for those who know WTF is going on.

So it won't do simply to say that soccer is boring and Americans will never embrace it. The rest of the ******* world - First world, second world, and third world - have indeed embraced it, and they can't all just be stupid.

My point is that with the millions of Americans who HAVE embraced it, we remain, in effect, a "Third World" competitor in soccer. But it's not because, "Americans just don't like it," but rather it is because our method of nurturing our most gifted players is not conducive to their optimum development.

I propose the following: Every American must contribute to a "Soccer Fund," as follows: If you love soccer, you must contribute a dollar - because you love soccer and it's the right thing to do. If you hate soccer, you must contribute two dollars, because you hate it and you want to be rid of it. The accumulated money will go into a fund to deport young, talented kids from the U.S. to soccer hotbeds around the world, where they can develop their skills at a more rapid pace. Then they can come back here and play for the Good Old U S of A, by golly.

Then maybe we won't suck.

Dude relax, we beat Germany in soccer not too long and whupped on Mexico a few days ago, got in the world cup and are ranked #13 in the world, calm down.

 

[Unkotare]

But it's not because, "Americans just don't like it," but rather it is because our method of nurturing our most gifted players is not conducive to their optimum development..

It's because American kids who show any athletic potential gravitate to other sports.

 

[Unkotare]

Given that baseball - America's national pastime - has roughly six minutes of action, criticism of other sports by Americans will be taken with a really, really big grain of salt.

The difference is that nobody sits at a baseball game during a pitching change screaming like maniacs, tearing their hair out, blowing on vuvuzelas, starting fires, or otherwise pretending it is something other than the game of a certain pace that it is. I wonder if soccer fans sit at home screaming and crying as they watch paint dry so they can convince themselves it's "beautiful" and pulse-pounding excitement.

 

[Montrovant]

As Americans, we must acknowledge that Baseball is just as excruciatingly boring to foreigners who were not raised with it as is "soccer" to most of us. In addition, it seems apparent that if you have a sophisticated knowledge of "soccer" it becomes less insufferable and, like baseball, the 1-0 games are not "the worst and most boring ones to watch," but rather the most exciting and entertaining - for those who know WTF is going on.

So it won't do simply to say that soccer is boring and Americans will never embrace it. The rest of the ******* world - First world, second world, and third world - have indeed embraced it, and they can't all just be stupid.

My point is that with the millions of Americans who HAVE embraced it, we remain, in effect, a "Third World" competitor in soccer. But it's not because, "Americans just don't like it," but rather it is because our method of nurturing our most gifted players is not conducive to their optimum development.

I propose the following: Every American must contribute to a "Soccer Fund," as follows: If you love soccer, you must contribute a dollar - because you love soccer and it's the right thing to do. If you hate soccer, you must contribute two dollars, because you hate it and you want to be rid of it. The accumulated money will go into a fund to deport young, talented kids from the U.S. to soccer hotbeds around the world, where they can develop their skills at a more rapid pace. Then they can come back here and play for the Good Old U S of A, by golly.

Then maybe we won't suck.

Ah, the old, "It's not boring, you just don't understand!" excuse. It's one I've heard plenty of times in reference to various sports.

Here's the thing : plenty of people can understand exactly what is going on and STILL find a game boring.

I find golf excruciatingly boring to watch. It's not because I don't understand it, I just don't enjoy it. The same is true for soccer, for baseball, and probably many other sports.

That the majority of the world considers soccer the top sport doesn't make it so. Yes, they absolutely can be wrong.

Oh, and one other thing. I don't care enough about soccer to want to pay to be rid of it. Soccer can stay or go, I just don't give a damn.

 

[Unkotare]

If all else fails......flop to the ground and writhe in agony

In Game 3 of the NHL Eastern Conference Finals Greg Campbell played with a broken leg. If one soccer player comes within ten feet of another they both dive to the ground and perform something like a death scene from a really bad movie.

 

[Montrovant]

Given that baseball - America's national pastime - has roughly six minutes of action, criticism of other sports by Americans will be taken with a really, really big grain of salt.

The difference is that nobody sits at a baseball game during a pitching change screaming like maniacs, tearing their hair out, blowing on vuvuzelas, starting fires, or otherwise pretending it is something other than the game of a certain pace that it is. I wonder if soccer fans sit at home screaming and crying as they watch paint dry so they can convince themselves it's "beautiful" and pulse-pounding excitement.

I bet someone has done all of those things at a baseball game at one time or another!